Should Have Known Better
by sweetprincipale
Summary: Sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. A one night stand had a repeat performance and reluctant realizations are happening.In the midst of crises, can the "enemies with benefits" decide to create some kind of relationship? Read & review!
1. Chapter 1

**Should Have Known Better**

**By Sweetprincipale**

_A sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. Set during S. 5, beginning at the end of the episode "Listening to Fear" and goes off cannon._

_Author's Notes: Deep, but will be smutty and Spuffy. (Lots of introspection in the first chapter. Don't worry. Smut happens soon.) Had several people tell me they thought See You on the Flip Side needed a sequel, and goodness knows I liked the idea! Hope you all enjoy, read and review!_

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Idiosyncratic Delusions, and Msnycegirl0820 _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

**Part I**

It was bloody stupid, he realized that. Soldier Boy was still around, the kid sis was home, Joyce was home an' not her best at all, at least not from what he'd seen when they walked her into the house. And he wasn't there for another quick shag with his "enemy with benefits". He shrugged uncomfortably inside his coat and flicked another butt from his hand. Reluctantly he left the shadows of the oak tree and made his way to the back porch, lightly opening the kitchen door.

She was sobbing, loud salsa music blaring to cover the noise. Give way when you're alone, he'd said, because that was the only time you didn't have be the strong one for the rest of the gang. She was taking him seriously, shaking sobs bending her into the sink as she washed a few dishes.

Last night, he'd tried to leave her to get on with her grieving, knowing about the whole hero bit, the 'gotta do it in private' bit. An' he'd ended up stayin' again, 'cause, as she so wisely put it (bloody hell, never, ever thought he'd hear himself describe Valley Girl as "wise") "I _am_ alone. When you're just with a reflection of yourself, you're not really with anyone, are you?"

He'd ended up in her bed again. Worse. Slept there, all night, even woke up with her, didn't scoot out the door before she could see him. That would've been smart. Maybe a bit on the bastard side, but he prided himself on his jerk-like qualities. When her eyes focused in the half light of early morning, she looked terrified and upset- but with herself. Mildly pleased with him. "Thought you would have taken off as soon as I was out." She whispered.

_Should have done._ What kind of soddin' fool sleeps in front of his most likely killer, knowing the room is loaded with sharp sticks just made for vamp removal? A fool like him, apparently. Or maybe a man who realizes the enemy isn't really a threat anymore. "I'll be on my way." He'd brushed her shoulder lightly. "If you're gonna be okay? With your mum an' all." He added hastily. Because that was why he was feeling...some goddamn annoying emotional softness towards the girl. Simple sympathy, nothing more.

"I'll be fine. Thanks for stopping over to- to see how she was."

See how all of them were. It was bloody stupid. He wouldn't be hanging around there anymore, though. Too risky. He knew better, you can only push a "one time deal" so far before it snapped.

So why had he been outside her house? Why was he now slowly walking over to the sink?

She sensed him with a gasp and spun a blue plastic cup out in front of her like a weapon, showering him with a splash of sudsy water. "Oh, geez, _Spike_! You could get yourself killed, sneaking up on people like that!"

"Sure, Luv, death by Tupperware, happens all the time." He tried not to laugh.

"Well, I'm- I could've been washing the wooden spoons and then- poof!"

"Yeah, suppose so, or you coulda been washin' with holy water."

"Why are you here?" She put her hands on her hips, anger replacing the tearful panic that had been on her face when he entered.

"Isn't it obvious?" Calling her wise might have been a stretch...

She blushed. "We can't get into a habit of this." She bit her lip.

"I _meant_, to check on your mum." She blushed deeper and looked annoyed with herself. Normally, he would have relished that, loved to see her and her self-righteous ass taken down a peg. But she hadn't been too bloody self-righteous lately, actually been... almost nice to him. Civil. Friendly, if such a term could ever apply to them. So his lips pushed out the phrase "Came to check on you, too."

"Thanks." She wiped her red eyes roughly. "Uh- she'd like to see you, God knows why- but she can't. Sh-she-" She swallowed hard. "That thing in her head... They say it progresses quickly."

Suddenly he was back in a darkened drawing room, smelling faintly of pipe tobacco and strange patent medicines, turpentine and mentholated spirits all of it.

* * *

><p><em>It progresses quickly. The coughing may become worse, and then the breathing. Try not to let her tire, keep her from overexerting herself. <em>A frock coated doctor, a hushed conversation, a bravely smiling woman waiting in the next room...

* * *

><p>He brought himself back with a jolt. "What's that mean then?" He listened for Joyce, head cocking subtly towards the upstairs. He could hear her babbling, nonstop, insistent, argumentative. Heard something else, muffled crying, prob'ly from the girl. His gut gave an uncomfortable twist.<p>

"I don't know. It was like- it was like she didn't know us." _She doesn't know Dawn, because Dawn's hasn't really been with us, not really real. But she is really _ours_._ "Or when she did, she didn't make sense." Her chest heaved once, sob threatening to well up. "She said I was fat."

"Oh, come, Slayer, don't cry over that, you're a thoroughly pretty piece of flesh." He smirked lecherously.

"No! Ass." She slit her eyes for a moment, then looked at him with a crumbling face. "She's always trying to get me to eat. _Always_- you know moms- food equals love."

* * *

><p><em>Are you sure you've had enough, William? You haven't even had one of the tarts, and Mrs. Edmunds does fuss over them so. <em>A pale hand holding a tray out to him, a hand that started to shake with weakness the further along the illness progressed...

* * *

><p>"Yeah, reckon they do think a bit like that." Spike smiled faintly, nodding. "So, she's not quite all there?"<p>

"Don't say it like that! She's all there! She's all here! She's just- h-hurting." Sobs were back, and he was back, holding her, wincing inside. "I need her! I need her to handle this, I can't handle this. It's the real life stuff I'm bad at, Spike! I'm good at fighting, and I can't fight _this_!"

"I know. I know, I know." Whispered over and over again, telling her as much as himself. He wasn't saying anything else, because he didn't have any words to tell her it was all going to be okay, or advice on how to fight it.

"I'm sorry." She snuffled. Oh, great. I'm all wet and drippy, and my nose is running now. Some all powerful "Chosen One". "Sorry." She sniffed in hard.

"Me, too." He patted her back, turning into rubbing, mind sending a little reminder that he was supposed to be cold and harsh with her. Sod off, he told the reminder. _She's soft, and warm, and she's damn fierce when she's not worryin' over her mum. An' we all have mums that we worry over. Even Dru, round the bend and so far gone, fractured and fragile as her bloody dolls, cried for her mother and little sisters every so often._

"Do you want to get one of your mates in here? Give you hand?"

"They're on patrol tonight. All of them." She unconsciously avoided saying Riley's name. Riley was the unspoken guilt she carried, and felt less guilty each time she realized Spike knew her better than her "boyfriend". "I have mom-duty, I made sure that-" A muffled shriek ended her thought in mid sentence. "Mom!" With wide eyes, she tore away from him, dashing towards the noise.

He hesitated in the kitchen. He was pretty damn sure he wasn't supposed to be the house just now, that people might ask one too many questions. He was also sure that Buffy'd kill him if he caught her mum wandering around, not in her right mind, in her unmentionables or something. Last thing he was sure of- Dawn was screaming, and it wasn't stopping. "Damn..." He groaned, and ran towards the stairs- only to be confronted with a huge, wriggling black bug.

"Argggghhh! What the bloody hell is that thing?" Spike shouted and flailed as it landed on him. It turned its caterpillar like body and he saw a face, a ghastly corpse-like face with beady red eyes and a foul-breathed, toothy mouth. "Ugh!" He shoved it off, and it fell with a rattling scream, slithering.

"Spike!" Buffy was chasing it down the stairs, panting, stumbling. "It was after my mother!"

"What in hell's it want with your mum?" Spike lunged for the wriggling creature as it scuttled away with unbelievable speed.

"Where'd it go?" Buffy pushed her hair out of her eyes as she landed on her hands and knees at the bottom of the stairs.

"Slippery bastard!" Spike shouted, trying, and failing to keep hold of it as it scurried under the dining room table, knocking over chairs, rattling dishes on the sideboard. "Get your mum out of here!"

"She's locked upstairs with Dawn." Buffy panted, rushing to the other end of the table, hoping to cut it off as Spike chased it to her. It was going to die. She was going to kill that hideous thing. Things that tried to take her mother, hurt her, sneaking in where it was safe, in her house, in her brain... "No one messes with my mom." She hissed.

With a choking squeal, the beast stopped its rapid dragging as it neared Buffy, just out of Spike's grasp. It lunged, launching itself hard onto Buffy as it reached the end of the table where she waited to confront it. She fell back, the creature fixing its small arms around her shoulders as she struggled to push it away.

"Buffy!" He tackled it with her, but this time it had dug its small clawed feet into the Slayer's shoulders.

"Get a knife!" She gasped as she worked to dislodge it.

Spike shoved past her, into the kitchen, retrieving the largest knife from the butcher block, and tossed it to her, crying her name and hoping slayer reflexes and vampire accuracy would let the blade land where it was supposed to.

With a sudden heave, she rolled, and the creature took the blow in its hard, black exoskeleton. Her hands jerked up, found the handle and plunged the blade in again, and again, each time eliciting a higher, fainter squeal.

Spike bent and threw it off her, helping her up, knife falling from her suddenly boneless, shaking grasp. "It can't hurt her. I killed it. I saved her." She rasped, allowing him to take her hands and haul her up.

"You did." He assured, giving her a flicker of a tired smile. Ugly bugger, init?" Spike nudged it with his foot, making sure it was dead. If it wasn't dead, it was doin' a damn fine imitation, so he left it.

"Uh-huh." She panted, leaning on him, hands still clasped around his wrists.

He shouldn't stand so close to her. Had her once, left her alone for months an' months. Then he'd been with her two nights in a row, and suddenly his body didn't listen to him anymore. She smelled so good after fighting though, blood just flying through her, and fear, well, slayer fear had been one of his favorite scents in the past. He still quite liked it, even though now he was starting to find it made him feel queasy. But sweat, and a hint of fear, fading now, plus the rush of blood... he inhaled and swallowed, remembering the sweet tang of her blood flowing down his throat. Willingly given, it seemed even more delicious than when it was stolen. He shook his head to clear it. Sod. Didn't work. He inhaled and swallowed harder.

She just wanted to let him tighten his grip on her, hold her in that almost painful grasp, make her forget, just for five seconds. Or that feeling he gave her, that French-sounding thing, the little death- she wished he could give it to her now, just five seconds' peace...

_She's not movin' away. Bloody hell, she's movin' closer!_

_ He's not letting go. He's all wide eyed and gulpy... He's looks so good sometimes. Like now... when his eyes are starting to close. All smoldering..._

The front and back door burst open simultaneously and the house was filled with tramping feet and shouting men. Riley, clearly in command, or at least given charge, was the first in the front door- almost smack on top of the couple.

_Why are they holding hands? Why is she leaning into him like that?_ Riley forgot to shout any orders, standing there staring, breathing heavily.

Buffy looked up abruptly, eyes bugging, and mouth dropping.

Spike gave him a disgusted look, eyes closing and letting out a long exasperated breath. He dropped her hands, but Buffy remained close to him.

"That's it, sir!" Two soldiers were suddenly on their knees beside the dead demon, bagging it in a thick haz-mat bag with U.S. Army insignia.

"Is this- Initiative?" Buffy asked in a tiny whisper, not moving from in front of Spike.

_Jesus effin' Christ, is she gettin' between me an' the boy? Is she actually- worried they're gonna try to take me back to chip central? _In spite of the mounting panic he was feeling when the soldiers swarmed close to him, Spike stiffened his spine and looked Riley straight in the eye.

"Regular Army. Special Forces Detail." Riley found his voice, moving closer to her, one arm outstretched.

"Mom!" Buffy seemed to wake up, and pushed past both men and sprinted up the stairs, not giving either of them a backward glance.

Left alone, relatively speaking, as commandos swept the house with geiger counters and who knows what else, Spike let out a hiss and glowered. "You just missed a real nice time, mate."

"Why are you over here, Seventeen?" Riley glowered back.

"I'm a girly magazine, am I? Gonna call me a nickname, call me Hostile, wouldja?" He shifted his neck inside his collar. "Suits me better, don't you think?"

"Answer me before I have them bag you, too." Riley threatened, fists clenching.

"I don't think the lady of the house would be too happy with you if you did that, Sgt. Paranoid." Spike lit up a cigarette, slowly, carefully meandering to get his back to the door- and therefore the fuck away from these army goons before they decided to dissect him.

Riley's hand shot out and pinned Spike to the wall. Around them, soldiers finished their sweep and left, one of them calling for Riley to move out. "Go without me. I'm not part of this unit. You've got what you came for." He redirected his full attention to Spike. "Why?"

"Came to check on her mum." Spike wriggled, hating, beyond hating, that he couldn't push off the larger, but weaker man without earning himself a migraine that'd fell an ox. _Can't dish the physical pain, dish the emotional. _With a cocky grin, tongue curling behind his smile, he asked, "You got some reason to suspect anything more? She didn't call out the wrong name in bed, did she?"

His nose broke and his head indented the wall behind him, glass shattering as a photo of Buffy, Dawn, and Joyce crashed to the floor. "I'm the one who loves her, Spike. She doesn't love you. She doesn't even _like _you!"

"That's true." He gasped, spitting blood. "Can't say as I love her, either." _Only in a soddin' dream did I ever say it. An' she never said it back._ He smiled and swallowed the blood still pooling in the back of his throat. "Can't say that she loves _you_ though, can we?" The next punch cracked at least one rib, maybe more. The smart thing would be to let it go, shut up. But these goons had cowed him once before, and he couldn't stop himself. "You have a lot of extra energy tonight, beating up a defenseless man." He panted painfully. "You have some frustration left to work off, White Bread?"

"Buffy!" Dawn's shrill cry broke Riley's hold, his fingers flying apart with a guilty start. Spike fled out the still open front door.

Buffy left her mother's side reluctantly. It had been so nice to hold both Dawn and her mother for a minute, to feel like she'd kept them safe, that she'd won. But Dawn wanted to see them taking the creature away, she needed to see it was no longer there, hiding in the house waiting to attack them.

Buffy reached the top of the stairs, putting her hand on Dawn's arm. "Dawn, go stay with Mom, she's gonna shower the demon spit off of her- holy crap, what happened to the wall?" She broke off her directions with an irritated yelp.

"Spike and Riley had a fight." Dawn sounded shaken, near to tears. She'd been traumatized in the last two hours by her mother's odd behavior and vacant stares, then in the last ten minutes with trying to fend off the nightmarish worm, and lastly by coming down to see Riley punching a blood covered Spike. "Mom's sick! Can't you save this for later?" Dawn glared at Riley. He opened his mouth to apologize, but shes spun on her heel and stormed away.

He directed his comments to Buffy instead. "I'm sorry. How is she?" Riley bent and began picking up pieces of glass.

"She's fine. She isn't _fine_ fine, but she's alive and the only thing that happened was she got a major scare and covered in monster drool. Now that thing's dead. The surgery is tomorrow morning..." She swallowed back the rising pain in her throat. _Not alone yet, wait until you're alone to cry._

"Thank God she's okay. This thing just killed the entire population of Sunnydale's Psych ward. Good thing Willow told me about your mom." Riley winced as he picked up the newly scarred family photo, dented from where glass had snapped inside the frame.

"You- you knew this thing was coming here?" Buffy asked slowly, picking blood stained glass carefully off the floor.

"I put a few things together." Riley began to relax. _The good guy rides to the rescue. So the bad guy was here first, it's the thought that's gonna matter. We're gonna be okay. Spike just had to bust my chops, it's all he's good for now._

"You couldn't have called me for ten seconds? To tell me there was a threat to my MOTHER?" Buffy rose, feeling tall and terrible, even though Riley towered over her when he stood as well.

"We had to react, we tracked, I tipped them off about your mom, we rode!"

"When did you figure it out?" Her voice was softer now, eyes shying away.

"About twenty minutes before we got here." He put a hand on her shoulder, only to have her shrug it off, taking a small step backwards.

"That's about ten minutes more that we had." She whispered coldly, eyes hard and bright when she looked at him. " And why- why tonight of all nights, would you get into it with Spike?"

"What makes you think_ I _got into it with_ him_?" Riley demanded angrily.

She stalked to the wastebasket and dumped the glass in her hand."Because Spike-" _Because Spike cares about mom, and even me- temporarily. No, Spike's a jerk. He is the royal high crown prince of jerks, of course he would start something. Army guys send him over the edge. No, that's an excuse, he'd do it 'cause he loves to be a pain in my ass._

" Never mind. I'm sorry, you're right. What did he do?" She sighed and crossed her arms, giving him a hesitant smile.

"He wouldn't tell me what he was doing here. What _was_ he doing here?" He asked pointedly, rubbing her arms as soon as he dumped the glass and wiped the blood from his hands.

"He came to check on Mom."

"He said that to me. You believed that?" Riley looked at her in open disbelief.

"I thought you said he wouldn't tell you?" Buffy looked puzzled in return.

"He didn't _want_ to tell me."

"But- my mom likes him, he likes her. In a totally _Twilight Zone_ kinda way. He wouldn't mind you knowing that." Buffy's puzzled look soared. "Then what happened? I mean, you wouldn't have blood all over your hand if that was the only issue." _I hope_.

"He wants you, you realize that, don't you?" Riley dropped all pretenses.

"Say what?" Buffy's eyebrows slammed into her hairline at that one.

He couldn't repeat the hints, the suggestions of the pale vampire. The fact that he'd let him engage in that kind of back and forth was just stooping to his level. He was above that. "He wants you. He makes comments, he looks at you in ways that he has no business looking at you."

_I want him, too. Sometimes. When he's here. Not when he isn't_. She shook her head vehemently. "It's Spike. Riley, want me or not,_ I _pick my boyfriends. Spike is _not _that." _Enemies with benefits was completely different, and a one time thing. That just happened to happen two extra times... And never would have happened in the first place if my _actual_ boyfriend actually paid attention to more than my outside appearance. If he didn't miss the fact that some bitch in my skin was acting the exact_ opposite_ of me! It's still wrong. It'll never happen again._

"So you actually believe him? That he came to see your mother?"

"Yes, I do." With all her heart, she did. Sometimes, you just knew. If it had been reversed- she knew her actions would mirror his. Her flip side.

"Buffy, you can't be serious!"

"Everyone has a mother, Riley." She replied in an arctic voice.

"And Spike would rip his own mother to shreds if he had his chip out, and your mother, too."

"No. He wouldn't, Riley." She huddled inside herself, thinking about the man who pushed her away a few nights ago, lost in grief and memories, who she reached out to. They had comforted each other... Just some comfort, wrong, but much needed.

"You don't know that."

"I do. For now."

"Because he's chipped."

"Because everyone has something they care about!" She shouted suddenly.

"He's deluded you, he's done it before. This must be how he got the other two."

"I know how he got the other two." She whispered harshly. _He taught me how -he showed me, he told me. He told me exactly what I needed to know to stay alive- or realize why I'll get killed. Why would he do that? To try to protect me in some deep down, unconscious way?_

But Riley pressed on, agitation in every line of his muscular bulk. "You're his third slayer, Buffy. Didn't he come here years ago just to kill you? Do you _really_ think he's just hanging out around you unless he wants you dead? Unless he wants something else, some other trophy, since he can't kill you with that chip in his head?"

_But he already got the other thing, the "something else". And he comes back anyway. He didn't get anything from me tonight._ Buffy blinked, as if slowly realizing something. "Riley. Sometimes you just know a person. I can't trust Spike about- well- almost anything in the world. But I do know that was why he came tonight."

"That's just stupid." Riley shook his head as she opened her mouth. "Not you, Buffy, but trusting him at all. It's not smart. You can't know him like that."

"I don't think you'd understand knowing someone." She whispered, swallowing hard. "I have to go. There's a floor to clean up. And my mom needs her medication. Dawn needs some sleep. The operation starts early tomorrow." She turned from him.

"I'll be there for you."

_No. You won't really. But you'll come to the hospital and sit next to me. And that's what a good guy does. It's the bad guy who comes to me in the middle of the night to check on her, or makes her cocoa at the crack of dawn. But you're the good guy, and you'll do the best you can. You always do the best you can. It's not his fault I want more._ She gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks, Riley."_ But I don't really want more. I just want him to recognize who I am, know me. That's so simple..._

Riley gently stroked her hair. "I only say things because I worry. Because I care- because I lo-"

She hugged him hard and kissed him harder, blocking the word before it released. "I have to go take care of them. Tomorrow?" She nodded towards the second floor.

"Tomorrow. Go take care of things." He let her go, hope fluttering slowly in his soul. He slowly walked away, hearing the door close and latch behind him. "Tomorrow, I finally get to take care of you."

* * *

><p>He had to walk home, now that the army vehicles had left. He was full of strange regrets. He should have phoned. He should never have lied to Willow, or Buffy, about the exact nature of how he found out about or handled the Queller demon. In all the distraction of the trouble with Joyce, that wouldn't be brought to light, not for weeks, maybe not ever. He shouldn't have hit Spike, let Spike rattle him. Make him doubt, with his insinuations.<p>

She didn't hate Spike anymore. Spike. Images of the sinisterly smug vampire stung him. There in the morning, in her room. There tonight, practically chest to chest with his girlfriend. _His_ girlfriend! Cocky threats and hints about what Buffy needed or wanted. He couldn't know? Could he, not really? She'd dated a vampire before. She claimed that the vampire he'd met, that Angel guy, was good, had a soul, was only riled up. Hah. If that freak, who took out a small patrol single handedly, was her definition of good, of the love of her life... he swallowed painfully and headed towards the worst part of town. _Got to find it. That monster for her man._

_No. Not even that. I'm not even doing this for her..._ he waded through the dankest alley ways, unafraid, sure where he was going. _I need someone to need me. I want that. What she's having. If she won't give it to me..._ He ignored the reclining couple on the couch of the trashed warehouse and headed upstairs. _There's a rush of having power. Being something that everyone wanted. Spike wanted._

Two voices. Two used pillows. _She likes you, but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough_. _Can't say that she loves _you _though, can we? _He closed his eyes but couldn't stop the swirl of thoughts.

"Tell me you need this." He whispered.

"Of course. I was hoping you'd come." She was almost pitiful in her clinginess.

"On your knees."

"Oh, yes..."

He rolled up his sleeve. Her faded brown eyes turned chrysoberyl green as her face changed. "Don't look at me." He commanded. They disgusted him. All demons. Vampires with their human faces- nothing underneath but killers. Killers who his girlfriend turned to once, maybe twice. "Bite. Now!" She sank her teeth into his arm and he felt the rage release.

Tomorrow it would all be better. She'd need him, she'd want him. _I'll be a little darker for you, Buffy. I'll know you just a little bit better, Honey. I'll have walked where you've walked._ "Harder." He whispered grimly.

After tomorrow, he'd never have to come here again...

* * *

><p>Buffy was laying awake. Her mother was sleeping fitfully, but at least not rambling. And Dawn was finally asleep, thank God. She was nearly as exhausting as Mom. More, because Mom tried to be calm, composed. Dawn fired off questions like a sad machine gun. And then she talked. About how Mom was saying something was not right about her. That she wasn't only a kid. Of course, she didn't <em>realize<em> that was what her mother was understanding, but Buffy listened to the rehash with growing trepidation. Mom had to get better, she had to fight Glory, and protect Mom._ I can't do both- can I? And if something happened to Mom... God I can't take care of Dawn, no way, I just... can't._

She flopped over, sobbing silently._ Mom has to be okay. She has to get better than this, I can't stand hearing her so confused, so crazy sounding, not when she's so young, when all she was having was a headache! It was only a headache, why was it suddenly making her like this? Because the cancer's growing, hurting her more, and she can't fight it._

_Speaking of things that you can't fight, what about Spike? Dawn was so freaked about that._ About how Spike's face was covered in blood, how he was gasping out words as Riley prepared to hit him again. She was shook up, she confessed, curling in Buffy's lap. Riley was supposed to be nice. _Why would he beat up Spike, like that? When he wasn't trying to hurt us? Was he trying to hurt us?_

No, she had reassured her ponderous sister. Spike was not trying to hurt us. He was trying to be (so weird) _nice_, and check on Mom. _He helped me kill that thing. And then he was ..._ what would have been the next step if they hadn't been interrupted? She didn't know.

Spike had to care for her on some deeper level, far from love, but something more than a- a three night stand? Probably doesn't realize it. Or does he? Words from a few nights ago swam in her head. _"You Summers women. You're a strange lot. But I like you. Sometimes_."

_Why does he like me? Why do I like him? 'Cause I kinda do. A little. God, and I told him._ _"You're a strange, sad, vampire punk freak. But I like you. Sometimes_." She remembered the flash of fear she had when the soldiers burst into her house. Not after the Queller, she hadn't thought that at all, she hadn't thought they even knew about that. No, she was thinking one thing, and one thing only. Riley had led them to Spike. She'd put herself between Spike and Riley. At the time, she thought it was between Spike, and the soldiers. But it was Riley. _Did I just make a choice, and pick Spike? No. No I could never do that. I just don't want anything to happen to him, that's all. I need him. I want him._

More words circled in her exhausted brain._ "I'll never hurt you in here, Buffy. I want you to want me. Like I want you." _And she wanted him so bad it hurt. But he wasn't hurting her. She didn't trust him, not really, so how could she even think of him like that? Like she wanted him again? _"You don't have to trust me. Just _know_ me." _She turned into her pillow again, head buried deeper muffling the steadily growing sobs.

_No. I have a good, decent guy. Maybe he doesn't know me, but he loves me. It isn't his fault I can't love him back. This can't happen again. Tomorrow night, everything will be fine. And Riley will be the one I celebrate with._

And if it went wrong? Tears threatened to strangle her. If it went wrong, she'd go to Spike. _I don't love him, but then again, that's not his fault. At least it'll be fair. Neither of us in love. But he'll give me whatever I need._

* * *

><p>Spike lay on top of the stone coffin upstairs. His bones were healing slowly. They'd never have broken in the first place if he'd been feeding properly. But as long as he didn't drink anything new, he could still taste sweet, rich, Slayer blood. Buffy blood. Slayer heritage made it powerful, but it was the woman herself who made it delicious. If he hadn't restrained himself to a few moments of deep drinking, he'd have been invincible for a week, if he'd fed off her like he'd fed off the last ones.<p>

As it was, he was stubbornly clinging to her taste, and an ordinary, admittedly powerfully built, human had shattered his septum and snapped two ribs.

He should be in the soft bed downstairs. But he couldn't bear to be near Harmony. Not when Buffy lurked in his brain, as irremovable and painfully inconvenient as the soddin' chip. He closed his eyes, and tried to think of something else. Beating the shit out of Riley, the unappreciative, unknowing bastard who claimed to all but fucking _own_ her. But instead, images of Buffy remained stubbornly inside his head.

She had been so close to him. So warm. Still smelling her, still swallowing her. Cumming inside her, and feeling her cum around him. If he wasn't nursin' a couple broken ribs, he'd be nursin' a rager of a hard on. _Goddamn it. I miss the girl._ I should never have had that second taste. Should never have had the _first_ taste. I'm poisoned.

Spike winced as he shifted to unzip, broken ribs or not. Could almost feel her much smaller, softer hand around him, instead of his own. _Bloody hell. I must be sick. Bloody fuckin' hell. I don't want to be cured..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Should Have Known Better**

**By Sweetprincipale**

_A sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. Set during S. 5, beginning at the end of the episode "Listening to Fear" and goes off cannon._

_Author's Notes: Deep, but will be smutty and Spuffy. (Lots of introspection in the first couple chapters. Don't worry. Smut happens soon.) Had several people tell me they thought See You on the Flip Side needed a sequel, and goodness knows I liked the idea! Hope you all enjoy, read and review!_

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Idiosyncratic Delusions, and Msnycegirl0820 _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

**Part II**

Buffy watched them prep her for surgery. A small shaved space appeared behind the temple, above the ear. It was indecent, somehow, a little bald patch. And wrong, that she finally was noticing how beautiful her mother was, now today. She had such pretty hair. Her chin wobbled dangerously and she grit her teeth to stop it from happening again. The nurse slid the IV in her mom's arm and she hissed softly and then smiled bravely. Buffy smiled back, masking her anger. _How stupid is that, that I wanna beat up the nurse, for pinching her arm? The pain in her head is worse. Yeah, but you can't beat up the pain her head, idiot girl..._

_ " _Buffy, uh," her mother cleared her throat and looked at her seriously, "I'm going to ask you something, a-and if I'm - if I'm being crazy you just tell me, okay?"

"You got it." _Please don't let her have another episode, not right now, this might be the last time we ever- NO. No, don't think like that..._

"The other day ... well, actually, I'm- I'm not sure when, the days seem to all bleed together." Joyce gave a small painful smile.

"It's not important." _The days were bleeding together? That's not good. But it happened. It could happen even without cancer, hadn't the days after Angel left all run together, one big ball of pain?_ "It doesn't matter, Mom."

"No, I guess it doesn't. I do know I was pretty out of it, and I had- not-not a dream, exactly, more like I had this ... knowledge, i-it just came to me like ...truth, you know? Even though it didn't seem...possible, even though I shouldn't even think such things."

" What?" _Where is this going? Nowhere good, that's for sure._ She took her mom's hand.

"Dawn."

Buffy looked suddenly horrified and startled, and even her supernaturally good reflexes didn't allow her to mask it in time. Her mother continued.

" She's not mine, is she?"

_Of course she is! She's ours, our annoying little brat that we love and have to keep safe. Key word being _we_, Mom. _"No." _If something happens- I don't want a lie to be the last thing I say. It won't be. Nothing bad will happen._ "But, Mom-"

"She's ... she does belong to us, though."

" Yes, she does." Relief poured through her, though it didn't show on her face._ Mom gets it. Mom knows she needs to take care of her. Of us._

"And she's important. To the world. Precious." She sniffled, and Buffy nodded, her own eyes growing bright. " As precious as you are to me." They nodded to each other again, brave smiles plastered in place.

Buffy had the fleeting thought that Spike would be proud of her mother, she was, just like he said, brave and graceful. He'd be proud of her, too, holding steady like this. She brushed the self-congratulatory thought away. He was always proud of her, in an "awed by some force of destruction" way. But never mind. Focus on the now.

"Then we have to take care of her. Buffy, promise me. If anything happens, if I don't come through this-

"Mom-"_ Don't say that, please don't think it. No one think it!_

"No, listen to me. No matter what she is, she still _feels _like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her, that you'll keep her safe. That you'll love her like I love you."

" I promise." She said hoarsely, tearfully, but not crying.

"Good. Good." She took her firstborn, really her only born, in her arms. "Oh, my sweet,_ brave _Buffy. What would I do without you?"

She hugged her back, using about a tenth of her strength, wishing she could use it all, hold her tight as possible, and never let her go. _The question isn't what would you do without me, Mommy. It's what would I do without you?_

* * *

><p>They all sat. The clock mocked them by turning every second into a minute, creating an eternity for people sitting a waiting room with magazines lying closed on their laps, and drinks sitting untouched on their knees. Dawn finally fell asleep. Worn out from chasing the demon caterpillar from outer space and her mom... just not acting like her mom.<p>

Buffy tried to lean on Riley's arm, take some comfort that he willingly offered. But each time, she could only rest for a second, before she had to stiffen her nerve and sit back up, Dawn's rock. More so than ever, Dawn's rock._ I promised Mom I'd take care of her. Mom called me brave. I have to be, she's counting on me. _Eventually, Riley leaned away from her, too. He wasn't pulling away, just not crowding her. Maybe he was starting to get it.

"I gotta take a walk." She finally said, gently sliding her bag under Dawn's head to use as a pillow in place of her lap.

"Do you want me to come with?" Willow asked eagerly.

"Do you want a snack?" Riley offered, rising to his feet.

"No, I just- need a stretch." She hastily backed away from both of them. It had been over four hours. God, what could be taking so long?

* * *

><p>"Slayer!" A voice hissed, and she swallowed a gasp. Spike appeared just as she rounded the corner, lurking behind one of the paper curtains that divided patient beds in recovery and ER.<p>

"Spike?" She put her hands on her hips, and groaned. "You need to get over this stalker thing, okay?"

"Shut up." He had finally broken and swiped one of the bags of human blood that was being transported into the hospital, nicking it from one of the many styrofoam chests that were being unloaded from the shipping van. He looked better now, his blackened under eyes were now a dull rouge color and he could stand up straight without favoring his cracked side. "You know why I'm here, an' you know I'd rather be waitin' with you lot over there to get the news first hand, but I don't think Farm Fresh would welcome it."

"You're right, he wouldn't." She said cooly. Then she cracked, voice softening as her eyes took in the battered spots on his face. "I'm sorry he hit you. He had-" this was going to sound so strange, "no right to do that."

"Damn straight he didn't." Spike didn't handle graciousness well, but inside he was pleased to hear her concern. "You mum?"

"Is still in there." Buffy rubbed her arms feverishly. "What's taking them so long?"

"Gotta do it up right, Slayer. Brain's tricky, best to take your time, yeah?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Look- I- I want to know, all right? Could you jus'- let me know when it's done?" He looked away from her. _Sound like a poof, all soft. But it's not for her, not this time. This is for Joyce. For Mum._

"Of course. Of course, I will." She moved closer to him, and then shook herself back into place, a decent distance away. "I'll come back down here when it's over."

"Right then." He nodded, and began to back away, off down the hall.

"Spike?"

"Yeah, Slayer?"

"If anything happened-"

"Shut your mouth, Slayer. Your mum's no quitter, a hell of a woman." He hissed harshly.

"I know that. But if-?" She looked at her hands. _I can't tell him. I can't ask him._

"You don't wanna be alone tonight?" He licked his lips, and then hardened. Doubt if there'd be shaggin' if there was news of the extremely bad variety. But comfortin', yeah, he could manage that. Might need a bit himself if..."Sorry to disappoint, but you'll be on your own."

She glared at him, before comprehension slowly slid back into place. " 'Cause you're not really with someone if it's just your reflection." She murmured softly.

"See you on the flip side." He stepped backwards into the elevator and was gone.

* * *

><p><em>Please let her be okay. Please let her be okay<em>. Spike paced. Then savagely kicked the laundry cart near his hiding place.

* * *

><p><em>Please let her be okay. Please let her be okay.<em> Buffy prayed. Then sighed loudly, head thrown back. Riley put his hand on her knee. "I can't stand this. What's taking so long?" She finally cracked.

" It doesn't mean anything." He soothed, rubbing a comforting palm on her leg.

"You think?" She pleaded with him to be right.

"I'd worry more if your mom was out of surgery quickly. Might mean that, you know, they couldn't do much."

"You're probably right..." She looked down the corridor again, the corridor she'd been staring anxiously at all morning. She blinked. This time there was someone coming towards them. She grasped Riley's hand, squeezing hard before pushing Dawn gently off, waiting for the surgeon to come to her. She rose, and as one, all her friends rose with her. They were all here for her. They loved her. She felt comforted by their presence. But it wouldn't be enough, if...

"H-how'd it go? What happened, is she all right?" She demanded.

He was speaking in Latin or something, was Buffy's first thought, as she watched his lips move but couldn't make the sounds turn into words. Time slowed down as a sentence of medical explanation dragged on, and then sped back up to beautiful, Kodak moment clarity, "- a complete success."

Everyone hugged. She pulled Dawn to herself with a sigh of relief. She let herself be enfolded in Riley's arms, hugging him back, the world suddenly a happy, happy place. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" She hugged the doctor in an almighty squeeze, hearing ribs crackling, and let go, "Sorry! Sorry!"

"She's in recovery. We'll let you see her once she's into a regular room. She's going to be unconscious for the rest of the night- brain surgery requires the strongest neuro-anesthesia possible. Early tomorrow morning you'll be able to speak to her. But you can sit with her for awhile today if you like. Immediate family only."

"Yes, yes, as soon as she's in the room, you'll let us know?" Buffy clutched his arm eagerly.

"Of course." The surgeon in blue scrubs smiled, wincing as he held his lower back, and walked away.

Another round of hugging and celebrating, and then Willow left for class, Giles left to get back to the store. Xander and Riley remained. At last, a nurse told the girls Joyce was in a regular room and they went off down the hall.

* * *

><p>"Xander. Do you think, if it's cool with Buffy and Dawn, that you could take Dawn to your place tonight?"<p>

"Gettin' the lovin' on?" Xander smiled widely.

"She's had so much going on..." Riley shifted awkwardly.

"No, man, I understand. I'd love to have the Dawnster over, and so would Anya."

"Thanks." Riley sighed. "She's been holding it together for so long. I just want to make tonight special for her, make her happy, relax."

"You're a good guy." Xander beamed.

* * *

><p>Buffy and Dawn collided with a figure just outside of Joyce's room. "Spike!" Dawn gasped.<p>

"Spike." Buffy spoke in a more annoyed tone.

"I heard the nurses talkin' about movin' Summers, J. into the room, an' I followed, okay?" Spike said defensively.

"You're here to check on my mom?" Dawn asked in astonishment. "I thought you'd be here to steal blood or bite babies."

"Can't bite. Done the blood nickin'." He grinned and Dawn grinned back, not caring if Buffy was glaring at them both. "Look, Slayer, just tell me an' I'll go, right?"

"She's fine. Complete success!" Buffy beamed radiantly.

"I thought it must be good. Didn't hear any wailin'. But wanted to make sure before I shoved off." He nodded with a tight smile, and cast another longing look inside the door.

"She'll be out all night." Buffy whispered.

"But she's here, an' she's gonna get better, that's what matters." Spike wasn't looking at her, he was looking solemnly in the glass window at the unconscious form.

"Go on in." Buffy held open the door, and Dawn trotted over, calling to her unconscious mother. "You have _one _minute." Buffy grudgingly held the door for Spike who gave her a genuinely grateful look.

He hung back as the girls whispered and hugged their unconscious mum, patting her hand, kissing her forehead, carefully avoiding the bandaged side and all the tubes coming out of her. He said nothing. He reached out a hand at once point, to touch the perfectly calm, pale face, and then stopped before his fingers could connect. "Steady heartbeat. Good blood flow. She's doin' well." Spike whispered at the end of his coveted minute. He stood in unblinking silence again.

He's remembering his mother, Buffy realized. "I'll tell her you were here." She murmured.

"Decent of you. Thanks. Right, then." He braced his shoulders, pushed his hard features back to the forefront. "Off I go. Bye Bite- I mean, bye, Li'l Bit."

"Bye, Spike." Dawn waved briefly and then turned her adoring gaze back to her mother, continuing to speak soothingly to her.

"Slayer." He jerked his head in recognition of her kindness, and left. Buffy followed.

"Thank you for everything." She whispered.

"Same."

"Tonight-"

"You won't need me. An' I know the drill, Luv."

They locked eyes. One time deal. Three time deal. Revenge. Knowledge. Life, death, blood, sex, lust, respect...more? Nothing more. _Bloody hell, that's plenty, what more do we want?_

_He knows me. And he knows what I'm going to do. He knows it's done._ Her gut twisted suddenly, and then her smile returned to her face. "Mom's okay."

"She is." He smiled back. "See you 'round."

"See you." She whispered. No one mentioned the flip side this time.

* * *

><p>He was the god of boyfriends. Arranging for Dawn-care. Lighting candles, making dinner, finding a soft, dreamy sounding CD. Candlelit dancing in the living room. <em>This is how it should be. Mom is fine, I can be happy, I can be relaxed. This is the new Buffy. Everything-is-perfect gal. With the perfect guy.<em> She looked into his gentle eyes, and blinked away a much fiercer set. She kissed him, trying to blur away the other eyes that flickered into her mind. A blue pair that weren't gentle. That only "took it easy on her." '_Cause we're enemies. Deadly enemies, we don't do gentle. We don't hold back. We might take it easy on each other sometimes, but it's because.. because we have some common ground. Common knowledge. We know each other. We're very, very _close _enemies..._

He broke into her thoughts with his sweet voice, a soft whisper. "I want tonight to be special for you."

"It's more than special. It's perfect." It was perfect because the world was free of one more un-fightable evil. Because Mom was okay, Dawn was safe, and she was with this wonderful, caring guy. All the things he did, that he got wrong- they weren't all his fault. She needed to accept that, move on. "Just perfect." She gazed at him affectionately.

"Well, I'm glad. You deserve it after everything you've been through.

_Again with the weak woman motif. Slayer._ _Slay-er. She who is the kicker of the big, evil, asses of the world. Not weak. _Her inner voice chided before she could reach full blown irritation._Hey, don't be like that, he just means you had a rough time. And you did. Relatively speaking._ "Well, it's nothing compared to what my mom had to deal with."

"It was a lot. And you were incredible."

"Not really. Just covering for the weepy chicken within." _That you weren't allowed to see. It's better that way._ Sometimes he seemed to think he'd be stronger if she was weaker. But it didn't work like that with her.

"Don't sell yourself short. You stayed strong throughout, Buffy. You never even cried." He grinned down on her in amazement, praising her with words and his eyes.

"Oh, I cried. I cried so hard, I didn't think I was gonna be able to stop."_ So _he_ held me, both of us pretending it wasn't really happening, but knowing exactly what was going on. He already knew my weak spots though, and he knew how to help me hide them. Your mortal enemy knows your vulnerabilities. Your friend helps you cover._ She laid her head on Riley's strong shoulder. _Friend? When did I ever think of Spike as a friend?_

_She cried? She cried so hard she couldn't stop? When? Where? With who?_

Images of a snarling man in full cry assaulted his already troubled mind. "_Where the bloody hell were you last night, all night, when she fuckin' needed someone to help her?" _

_She didn't call me to tell me. She didn't let me in._ That was the morning after his night of frantic phone calls. Two voices. The next day, Spike was there in her room. Had he been there all night?_ "Where the bloody hell were you last night, all night..." _Spike there in the morning, next to her pile of clothes.

_She went to him. She didn't come to me._

His voice was small and surprised. "Oh." Nothing else. He didn't confront her. It could all be so innocent. Not innocent in Spike's mind, but in hers. He should ask her, flat out. But he quailed. He had no real proof. And if he accused her, well...He didn't want to think about his accidental night with Faith. With Buffy. Never anyone else. He only loved her.

But he'd never trusted her. Not where vampires were concerned. Hadn't he assumed when he saw Angel, that he was soulless? And what made him soulless? Sex with Buffy. And Spike was chipped. Maybe there was something in slayer make up and "disabled" vampires.

_He's upset. He gets it, that I cried, but not on _his_ shoulder._ "That's all in the past now. Mom's out of the woods, and I'm here with you. That's all that matters." She swayed with him, looking up at him. She smiled into his eyes and stroked his cheek. "Isn't all that matters that we're here, together, now?"

_I only love her. Tonight she'll finally love me. Only me._ "All that matters." He whispered and she lifted her head up and they kissed again.

* * *

><p>Spike sank in his easy chair, relief, lust, and annoyance warring within him.<em> It's done. Joyce is fine. Back to coffee by the convenience store inside a month, the girl's a fighter. She'd have to be, look at the daughter she has. An' your mum. She was fighter. Didn't know you'd have the heart of a fighter in you, but it was there. So you did a good thing. Now stop actin' like Broody Big Hair.<em>

_You don't like the girl. You like fuckin' her, and drinkin' her blood, and would probably dearly love to kick her petite perfectly shaped ass across the room onto a soft bed and-_ well, that was an unexpected turn of his normal violent fantasies. _But get over it, Spike. Truce is done, game is over, and no one lost. You got her body an' her blood, more than any other slayer has ever willingly given up. You got to prove you really do know your enemy, know her so well that she trusted you- no! Not trust, she just- accepted you, "knew you back"._ He smoked another cigarette, knitting his brows as his frown deepened.

_She'll go back to Marshmallow Man. And you'll go back to-_

"Spike-yyyyyyy." She sashayed around him and he snapped the cigarette in half, showering his jeans with flakes and ash.

"Sod it." Harmony. He groaned and looked away.

"You haven't been paying attention to me lately." She pouted.

"There's a good reason for that, Harm." He said with an insincere smile.

"There is?" She asked brightly.

God, she was dumb. You even had to explain the insults. "Yes. Because I don't want to fuckin' talk to you!" He shot out of the chair.

"You're so tense. You wanna..." she giggled, "you know...?"

"No, Harm. I do not want to 'you know'." He said coldly and deliberately, pushing himself resolutely away from her. "Not with you, anyway." He mumbled under his breath.

"Ooh, games! Who do you want me to be then?"

"Oh, for God's sake." He slammed the blonde bint into the wall, watching her eyes turn from playful to frightened. And frightened was normally attractive, since only demons could be frightened of him now, and he missed hunting his prey. He let go of her. "Look, you cannot be Drusilla. Do you understand? You cannot replace her. I don't want you to try. It'd just end up-" he looked at her gorgeous, buxom figure and her sweetheart face, "mocking her." Dru was an artist's vision of dark beauty. Harmony was a skin mag's vision of an easy sell.

"What about Buffy?" Harmony asked.

"What?" He almost fell over in shock. "What?" No way the airhead could know.

"Well, you hate her. And you like to play rough... we have chains..." She curled her tongue around the outer edge of of his ear.

"You're right. I do." He snarled and shoved her into the wall, this time hard enough to knock two of the candles out of the wall bracket, making her scream as the flames sputtered near her foot. "I like to play rough. An' I can't. With her. With any human. An' do you remember why?"

"You got a chip?" She quavered.

"And WHO was supposed to watch the doc REMOVE it from my head?" He roared.

"Me?" She squeaked.

"Yes! You!" He released her and took a step back.

"Why are you like this to me?" She whispered when he let her go.

"Because, Harmony, we are not compatible. Y'see? 'Cause I wanna kill you. An' you just wanna stay here to avoid the Slayer."

"I'm like her- arch nemesis!" Harmony protested. "She hates me. She wants to kill me!"

"An' you're not much safer here at this point." Spike laughed harshly. Harmony looked at him warily. "She won't hurt you unless you go after her, or her family and friends."

She got a sly look on her face. A face that Spike had come to associate with painful incidences of Harmony trying to have a thought. Or worse- a plan. No. Couldn't deal with plans just now, definitely not plans involving hurting... those people. "Spike, we could -"

"No!" Spike wrapped both hands around her throat and burned his eyes into hers. "She won't hurt you unless you go after her family and friends. And if you try it, Harmony, I'll stake you myself. So stop tryin' to be clever."

"I'm not good at this." She wailed.

"No, you're bloody terrible at making plans. The sooner you accept it, the less killed you'll be."

"No, Spike! I'm not- I'm not like other vampires."

"True." Most of them had some basic survival instinct. Her low IQ must have inhibited that in her transformation. Or maybe, stupid in, stupid out.

"I try to be." She whined. "I like it! I like the killing part. It's the-the villain-y part."

"That's your sire's fault, Luv. You weren't trained."

"Couldn't you-"

"No. I don't do that. Not my job, not my thing. I only sired- a few. For very special reasons. And it didn't turn out well..." He drifted away, beginning to get lost in his memories.

"So what do I do?"

A sudden thought struck him. He smiled a grin of pure unadulterated evil. "Why don't you run on down to LA, Harm? You know Buffy's ex, tall, dark and annoying? He's got sort of a gig for miserable vamps. Got a thing for miserable, annoying blondes, too." He grimaced as he pictured one feisty little blonde that he'd never feel surging under him again. "Tell him you're my ex, that oughta motivate him somethin' fierce." He gazed deeply into her eyes, really looking at for the first time in several minutes. "But one's things for sure. You can't stay here."

"Go to LA?"

"Or get out of here." He moved farther away from her. "Just go, though. Now."

"But I have to pack!" She looked offended. Yes, because heaven forbid we don't pack the ninety pairs of pink heels clutterin' up the place...

"Then _I'll_ go. You pack. Be gone by the time I get back." He put his duster on, took a fresh pack of cigarettes from the carton, and left.

* * *

><p>Riley looked at her lying under him, her beautiful golden hair fanned out, her eyes closing in pleasure. How could he ever have mistaken the clawing, but oddly distant creature he'd made his mistake with for her? "I love you."<p>

"Riley." She moaned.

"I love you." He repeated, more fiercely.

"I know. You're so wonderful. So perfect." She stroked his face with soft, caressing fingertips.

"Buffy-"

"Shhh." She smiled into his eyes and pulled his head to hers, kissing him long and deep. She did something with her hips and then relaxed under him, looking satisfied.

_She's like a goddess. So perfect, and she's mine._ He grunted sharply and collapsed on top of her.

"So relaxed." She whispered, kissing him lightly. He moved, letting her roll to her side. He slowly eased out from beside her, went to get cleaned up.

* * *

><p>The pain in his arm mocked him as he disposed of their protection. The pain in his heart mocked him worse. <em>You made love to her. She let you in her body, but she didn't let you in her head. No, why should she? That's what the <em>vampires_ are for._ His arm throbbed again. _Everything goes back to the damn _vampires._ Why she's different. Why he'd noticed her. Why her heart is broken, why she thinks she has to be a superhero and can't turn to me. The goddamn vamps. Why I slept with Faith, another slayer, back to the vampires. Why Spike is here every time I turn around, because now he's a vampire who has a standing invitation since he's house trained! He beat his fist on the counter._

_If it's all about the vamps... gotta go back._ He ripped the bandage off his arm and looked at the two small puncture wounds. _Gotta go back. As soon as she's asleep._

* * *

><p>Spike didn't know why he decided to get out of his place, which was unbearable, and end up at hers, which would be bloody pointless. <em>You know what she'll be doing, don't you? Fucking him. Captain Cardboard of the I'm Bleedin' Oblivious Corps. Why would she-?<em> Didn't matter to him, did it? And her street was no more off limits than any other street in the Hellmouth.

_You know he can't stick around. Hasn't got the stuff. She'll string him 'til she cracks, or he'll shove off once he can't stick her behavior anymore. Fool. Her behavior was bloody annoyin' but entertainin' as hell. Fool._

He stood outside, breathing her in, but wrinkling his nose when he caught _his _scent. At least they hadn't... he sniffed harder. Well, they _had_, but there wasn't quite the same aroma, indicating that it wasn't much in the sheet soaking department._ Poor girl. Two one night stands, and than Mr. Loving but Tentative. Oh yeah. And _me.

He smirked in a self-satisfied way. _At least we gave each other the best we could. Our all. One final, brilliant battle, no holds barred, no weapons needed. We can't duel to the death, but we made up for it with all the little tastes of heaven, right? I'll always be the best she's ever had. She'll always be the best I've ever had, as well. Fittin' end._ Yeah. He could handle that.

He tossed his cigarette away and persuaded himself to move on. He'd only taken one step when the front door opened and he retreated to the shadows. What in the hell was he doing now? He'd seen him slip out before, but what now? Tonight? Of all nights? _Bastard. You could finally be of some use to the girl, and what are you doing?_ He hissed. He hesitated, and then followed him, keeping well away.

* * *

><p>Riley went immediately to the warehouse, ignored several of the females who fawned over him as soon as he opened the door, pushing past them and up the stairs. She'd better be waiting. She'd better be waiting for him and wanting him. <em>Just <em>him. He pushed open the door, and she was, as emaciated and hopeful looking as ever. Disgusting. But dependent on him.

"You were going away." She whispered.

"I'm here now. Don't talk. Don't look at me. Just- get what you need." He ripped his sweater off, and sat down, bare arms extended.

* * *

><p>Spike leaned against a wall in shock. This place? <em>This<em> place? "Oi, mate." He leaned his head in the doorway. "That bloke who just came in? Been here before?"

"I don't snitch on the patrons." The burly male vampire who acted as either bouncer or proprietor informed him nastily.

"If you care that much about his custom, it means he's a regular, thanks." Spike rolled his eyes and sighed. Had the whole world taken stupid pills? Then he ran.

* * *

><p><em>Wait. Wait, what am I doin'? So he's gettin' bit, <em>she_ liked it. Of course- I was plowin' her open from behind at the time... No. He's too clean cut. He'd never bed some cheap whore. Except for Faith. But this is a demon. Oh sod it, he couldn't add it up. Why in God's name would you go get yourself bitten, or even shagged, if you had the hottest, tightest, most passionate piece waitin' at home? Plus, he just fucked her. Not terribly well, but why go out and get more, why not stay there with her?_

_Because he wants the dark. He wants the bites. Prob'ly for some deep and noble purpose, in his little screwed up commando brain. Prob'ly chipped him up real good, an' he didn't ever realize it._ He ran, full vampiric run, now, the kind where mortal eyes see a figure so fast the legs were a blur.

For the third time in a year, he had the thought, "She won't be done down that way." _She's too good._ That's all the rationalization he had time for, _She's too good for this. An' if I tell her, she'll deny it. She knows I hate him, an' yeah, I'd love it if she snapped and ripped the wanker's head off. But I just want her to see. She can just see for herself, do what she likes._

Whatever she did, bugger it, he decided to stand up with her on it. Jesus effin' Christ. The messes she got him in to.

* * *

><p>Buffy thought it was a dream when she heard the bedroom door open and sensed him. But he wasn't here tonight. "Riley?" She asked blearily.<p>

"No, it's me." He whispered.

"Spike?" Maybe she _was_ dreaming.

"Buffy, I have something you need to see."

He used her name. Not her "title". "Okay. But Riley's-"

"Luv, he's not here. Can you come with me, please?"

Please. Luv. Riley gone. "You didn't kill him, did you?" She asked, sitting bolt upright, hands clutching her sheet across her naked body

"What?" Spike shouted. "No!" Honestly, like he'd do that and come up and announce it. Maybe it was Hellmouth water. Maybe the stupidity was unavoidable.

"What's going on then?" She sounded suddenly frantic. "Mom? Dawn? No, no you wouldn't be here-"

"Slayer! Get some clothes on an' lets move!"

"Turn around, Spike!" She snapped.

"Shit, Slayer, seen you in all your glory, and glorious it is." Spike protested. He'd love another little look at what he was about to be missing for the rest of his existence. Although- maybe not now. He'd never considered the possibility that they might both end up unattached at the same time. Was that of any consequence. No. No, of course it wouldn't be. Shouldn't be.

"Do you have death wish?" She cried.

"Only our little deaths, Luv." His cock was apparently doing his thinking, and he had to remove himself from the source of its temptation. "I'll be on the porch. Hurry." _Are you mental? Completely carrot top? Casual sex is good, thinking in terms of you both being unattached is insane and just stupid._ But, his snide inner voice pointed out, the last two times, it wasn't casual. It was... powerful.

_Yeah. You're both powerful, sure. But she's got a vamp killin' arsenal, and you're chipped. Before you start thinking about a buffet of Buffy delicacies, did you consider the fact that she might just kill you for showin' her this? The "kill the messenger" problem? Bollocks. Best to keep to straight whiskey an' blood from now on._

"I'm here. What's up?" She was dressed in black, secret ops girl. "Is it about Riley?"

"Walk." He wouldn't answer more, he just took off.

"Is he hurt?" Buffy forced his face back to hers, grabbing his arm.

"No." Unless he got violent with the girl he's with... unless she got violent with him... "And I'm doin' this for one reason, you get that in your tiny, teenaged mind now."

"I'm not a teenager!" Buffy followed him as he pulled away.

"I'm doin' it because I have this goddamned stupid respect for you an' it's sick, it's wrong, and it won't shift, I've tried!" He clutched his hair for a second and staggered in the midst of his run.

"Spike, come on. It's- us." She panted slightly. He was really rushing to wherever they were going. "You know I know you. You don't have your 'manipulate and make Buffy miserable' face on."

"Don't start stakin' when we get there, jus' keep to where I go, an' don't say anything." Like that would ever happen. The not talking part. She always talked when you told her not to. He liked that stubborn streak quite a bit actually.

"This place is condemned, we can't go in there!" Buffy latched onto his arm as he tried to lead her into a crumbling warehouse in the seediest alley imaginable.

"You won't need to stay in there long." He muttered grimly, and pushed her inside. She gasped when she saw a number of couples, all engaged in biting, some in a bit more than biting. "This isn't it, keep goin', upstairs."

"Hey! You can't bring your own, lady!" The same burly vampire that had addressed Spike earlier spoke to him again. "You use what's in the house, or you take it elsewhere."

"Huh?" Buffy blinked. What kind of new grossness was this?

"Give me a minute." Spike said patiently. "We're only havin' a quick look."

"You can't go up there!"

"Keep it down." Spike hushed.

"I said you can't-" the bouncer rushed him, and Spike's grip was instant and powerful around his throat.

"_I said_ 'keep it down'." He tossed him from their path and led Buffy upstairs.

"What are we looking for?" She asked, a cold knot of fear sinking in her stomach. _Tonight is my happy night. Mom is okay. Mom is okay. Tonight is supposed to be perfect..._

"This." Spike pushed open the door, and let her go in. He was going to let her go alone, but his stupid feet followed her, not listening to his self-preservation instincts.

The boy had his shirt off, but at least the cheap piece had her clothes on. Wouldn't want it to be worse for the Slayer than it already was. She was staring, frozen in shock, wide eyes unblinking.

"Harder." Riley was urging in a brittle whisper, but other than her mouth on his arm, and his legs supporting her weight, he seemed as distant as possible from the vamp. Yet he was oddly absorbed in the actions. His eyes weren't closed in pleasure, rather locked in concentration.

Finally, a strangled gasp burst from Buffy's throat.

Riley's head shot up with a look of pure horror and guilt. "Buffy?"

Her lips formed words. It may have been "no" or it may have been his name, he didn't know. Tears were filling her eyes. _She's finally opening up- now? With me now?_ He had the momentary puzzled realization. And then he saw who was behind her. _No. Of course not with me. In front of me. But _with him.

She bolted down the stairs with a hoarse, desperate cry, nearly knocking Spike off his feet.

"Buffy!" Riley pushed the vampire off him roughly, but she remained stubbornly latched to his arm, clearly sensing her meal was going to be cut short.

"We only came here because we care about you, friend. " Spike smirked. "You need help." I came 'cause I care about_ her_, you're a piece of shit, he thought, but he didn't stay to exchange words, which would lead to a one-sided exchange of blows. He had to catch her. Be with her. The boy did need help. Lots of help. You turn down a warm, tasty, fiery treat like the Slayer for that cold, bony piece of tail? Stupid. Pure, sheer stupidity._ Has_ to be the water... He nodded, smirk widening at the look of desperation on the other man's face, and dashed out behind his... enemy.

The bouncers, now two, didn't touch him as he flew down the stairs. Judging from their freaked out expressions, they'd realized the girl he'd come with was the Slayer, and they weren't interested in him. They were interested in who she'd come to see, who'd tumbled the hideout.

* * *

><p>"Buffy! Buffy!" He caught up to her easily. She was breathing too hard in her efforts not to cry to have the oxygen for a good run.<p>

"I hate you." She punched him as hard as she could in the jaw, and he only avoided an outright break because he had known it was coming, moved just in time, catching just the edge of her hand.

"I know." He whispered.

"I hate you! You- you always know! You show me, you tell me things...Why now? It was my perfect night!" She hit him again, but again he anticipated, saving the other side of his rapidly bruising jaw. "You ruined it!"

"I wasn't the one getting bit, Luv." He pointed out. The third uppercut knocked him flat against a sign post.

"WHY?" She screamed. He'd never heard her yell like that, ever. And he'd witnessed some pretty painful things that she'd undergone.

"I thought you should know." He said simply, hand out to catch hers as it swung again. There was no power behind this one.

She let him keep her hand, slowly bending her arm, taking a step, another step- until she was sniffling in his arms. "Why? Why, why, why?"

"I don't know why." He honestly didn't.

"Did you do it so we could...?"

"No." _Though I won't turn you down if you've got the itch for another spot of revenge..._

"How?"

"Walkin' by your place tonight. Saw him leave. Knew you were home, knew you had the place to yourselves, and that you should be celebratin' your mum's good news. Figured somethin' felt wrong, followed him, knew what this place was, brought you. So you'd believe it." He whispered into her hair.

"You didn't know before?"

"No."

"You couldn't have waited until tomorrow? So I could have had one good night?" She looked up at him miserably, taking a few steps back to really look at him.

He was slow to answer. He hadn't thought about that. If she hadn't seen it, she'd never have believed it. "No." He shook his head slightly.

"Spike..." She looked up at him, tattle tale tears leaking from her stricken eyes.

"It's okay, Luv. Cry. No one here but you an' your reflection."

* * *

><p>Riley, panting so hard he thought his lungs would spring from his ribcage any second, paused against a wall. Those guys would be after him, they knew who Buffy was. And he'd gotten carried away, not paying attention to how much she was drinking. He felt light headed. Black spots were forming in front of his eyes.<p>

No, not black spots. Black figures. Spike, leaning against a sign post, Buffy in front of him. Spike's lips were pressed to her hair. One of his pale hands, silver rings glinting in the lamplight, was stroking her soft blonde locks. Buffy stepped, stumbled, and fell fully against the vampire. Riley watched, darkness growing, figures gaining painful clarity while the rest of the world went fuzzy, as Buffy allowed herself to be wrapped in his arms, tight against his chest, and began sobbing her heart out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Should Have Known Better**

**By Sweetprincipale**

_A sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. Set during S. 5, beginning at the end of the episode "Listening to Fear" and goes off cannon._

_Author's Notes: Deep, but will be smutty and Spuffy. (Lots of introspection in the first couple chapters. Don't worry. Smut happens soon.) Had several people tell me they thought See You on the Flip Side needed a sequel, and goodness knows I liked the idea! Hope you all enjoy, read and review!_

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Idiosyncratic Delusions, Andrea Fangface, and Msnycegirl0820 _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

**Part III**

"Come on." He pulled her under his arm, and they walked away. Walked to her place, slowly. "Um. I _am_ sorry. About this." He murmured.

She didn't speak. She didn't cry once she began to walk. She felt numb. _It's my fault. He somehow found out about Spike. I found about Faith. That's why I had Spike. And then... the next time was my fault. So I can't be mad at him._

_But it can still hurt. He could've hurt me another day, couldn't he? Any other day but today? And I _really_ hate Spike right now. Stupid, stupid spying, stalking vampire. _

_Who knows you. Who protected your best interests. And you punched him for telling you._

She looked at him, his face remaining cold, impassive. _Maybe he deserved it. Maybe not. Didn't matter, you couldn't take back punches, just like you couldn't take back Riley sleeping with someone else, or getting bitten._

_It was just so sleazy though._ "What was that place?"

Spike had wondered if her tongue was broken. He almost smiled in relief, but checked it. "Brothel. Of the biting kind. Although, I imagine plenty of 'em do more, for extra."

"That's insane! People are paying to get bitten?" She didn't even want to contemplate the phrase "more, for extra."

"It can feel good." He reminded her defensively.

"No, I- I know it can. With the right person, I mean, if the person does it right." She stammered in her confusion of words.

"I got it, Luv. Go on."

"Why pay? Don't the vamps get free food?"

"Greed. Stupid bloodbags. Whatever."

"Did you ever?"

"God, no! Slayer, would I have let myself almost starve to the point of a second death an' turned up on your Watcher's doorstep lookin' like dead albino rat, if I ever did that?" He demanded.

"You didn't know how the chip worked at the time." She pointed out.

"But then I figured out I could touch humans if I had no intention of hurting them. And if I was workin' as some cheap whore, I'd know they wanted to get bitten, they would be payin' me to do it! No. I have- pride. About a few things. Not many. But that's one." He shook his head. "Only real dirtbags an'-" He stopped at her stricken cry. "Sorry."

"Why would he do that?" She whispered, slowly walking up to her house. He followed, although he no longer had his arm around her. "Why?"

"I dunno." She glared at him. "I don't! Makes no sense to me! He could have you, an'..." he trailed off.

"And what?"

"And that's plenty." He shrugged.

"Do you think he...?"

"I think he got bitten. I don't know if he did more, Luv." He hesitantly patted her back. "I'd doubt that. He-" Spike struggled to say the next part, "he does love you."

"Not enough." She smiled bitterly. "If he can't get what he needs from me, he doesn't love me enough. If he doesn't take the time to get to know me- he doesn't love me enough."

"Not arguin' with you." Maybe that was bit skewed, but he wasn't gonna argue with her. Sod it, he wouldn't argue with her if she said Riley was a flamingo. You don't argue with emotionally distraught slayers who currently hate your guts and don't need much provocation to turn you into vacuum bag filling.

"Lock the door." She called tonelessly, heading up the stairs.

"Sure." He obeyed. And checked the other doors and windows. Secure. Although if the errant boyfriend decided to call, he could easily find a way in. He almost hoped he tried it. Seein' the Slayer kick Riley's ass would be a treat he only dreamed of."Uh- am I stayin' ?" No answer. "Buffy?" No answer. "Slayer?" He shouted louder. Still no answer. He took the stairs three at a time, foot tangling in her jacket at the top of the stairs. A trail of clothes from stairway to bathroom. _Okay. Showerin' him off. She did that before. The last time he screwed up._

His fist suddenly found the wall. _Ohh, shit. Nice sized hole. Shit!_ _Why do I do things like that? Because it's not fair! She's gotten treated like this twice. She an' I haven't been the paragons of virtue, not claimin' that. But he... he should know better. _What the hell was wrong with that boy?

* * *

><p>Buffy shook as she scrubbed.<em> It's my fault. I understand. It's my fault. But I don't feel any less dirty for having had him inside me, just using me until he could bitten. 'Til he could pay for it! 'Til he could pay for it, from someone who sticks their fangs- maybe other things- into people every night, for money. He left me on our special, perfect night, to be with a whore.<em>

"Spike!" She had a sudden terrifying thought, and she yanked open the door to the bathroom, suddenly facing a very guilty looking vamp who was trying to put plaster back into a wall.

"I'll fix it!" He yelped.

"Can you get diseases if you bite someone who had a disease?"

"No, not at all."

"If they had blood from-"

"No. No, there's no way. You- you're healthy. He didn't pass anything onto you. We can't spread disease, Luv, I know. Okay?" He reassured, averting his eyes.

"Okay." She returned to the shower.

Spike stood there, unable to move. _Don't think the Slayer realized all she was wearin' was some bubbles._ He heard muffled sobbing again. _She's gonna be in there awhile. What do I do? Forget the wall, it was the hazard of havin' supernaturally strong friends. Enemies. Whatevers!_

He paced to her room, back to the bathroom, and back. Sniffed the air. At least White Bread had gift wrapped it. She couldn't catch anything that way. A least not this time. And no, not any time, bites weren't like that. He sniffed again. Very faint traces of his scent. He didn't think she'd notice it, but it was symbolic, mental. All the hurt that bastard inflicted on her.

_See, it's okay if _I_ hurt her. I don't love her. I'm not her boyfriend. I'm not her anything. But she- she let him get close. No, Spike, she let _you_ get close. You don't get to screw this up for her. She was supposed to be happy tonight. If someone came to you and told you your mum was okay, out of danger, wouldn't you want to celebrate? Now it was ruined._ And he felt a foreign emotion tugging at him. Stupid, flamin' guilt._ I helped ruin it._

* * *

><p>She didn't stop her mindless scrubbing until she saw the pink tinged water running down the drain. Scrubbed too hard. But she was clean. He wasn't on her now. She hadn't had to do this- in nearly a year. Since Faith had violated her body. She didn't even scrub like this after Spike... Because it wasn't dirty. Wrong, but dirty? Not really. <em>Why does the good guy make me feel dirty inside, twice? Spike should make me feel that way. But I don't. 'Cause being with him doesn't even feel like there's another person. I mean physically, yeah, big, huge throbbing tip off that there's another person. But it just feels like part of me is there.<em>

She turned off the water, and wrapped herself in a towel. First a white one, and then put it back. Blood stains. She had a red towel someplace. Finding it, she wrapped herself in it, and numbly walked into the hall. Again to be facing a guilty looking vamp who was carrying a load of bed linens in one arm and looking in the hall closet. "Can I ask why?" She sighed.

"Thought it would help." He answered. He looked at her. She wasn't covered in bubbles anymore, what he could see was covered in raw skin. Scrubbed raw. Literally abraded to the point of breaking.

"To organize the linen closet?"

"No." He replied, patience kept with an effort and a lot of cursing in his head. "To change the sheets!" He looked in the depths of the closet. "When I was in that soddin' wheelchair and Angel was with Dru in our bed-" Her pained cry halted his explanation.

"Wh-what?" She asked in a shaking whisper.

"You didn't know about that?" He wasn't surprised. Angel liked to act like Angelus was some Jekyll and Hyde split personality, when all it was Angel suped up. He wouldn't admit to his worst actions easily. Liked to moan an' say sorry after the fact. Never once said sorry to him for takin' his beautiful, sweet-. "I don't wanna talk about it. Just know- clean sheets help." He bit his lip and swallowed hard, still not looking at her. He'd never slept in that bed again. But since he couldn't go out and grab a new bed for her, this would have to do.

"I don't want to talk about it, either." She pressed a hand to her mouth. He never said. Never, and Spike had never mentioned it until just now. No wonder Spike hated him so much. She felt sick. She didn't like Drusilla, no way, but Spike did. He loved her so much, even now. That was why Angel- no, _Angelus,_ did it. "I don't want to talk at all. Not anymore."

He slowly turned to her. "D'you know you're bleeding?" He asked softly, carefully. She remained silent. He touched her upper arm, where blood peppered the surface, tiny little drops welling up to just above the broken skin.

"At least I didn't pay for it." She whispered. He lowered his hand, finger tip holding a single spot of crimson. "I'll heal." _On the outside. I'm the Slayer. in an hour, you'll never know I was hurt at all..._

"Yes, you will." _Never on the inside though, poor girl. _"You're a fighter, like your mum. You're a strong girl." Hie eyes encouraged her.

"You're a strong man." Had to be. To keep going after someone you love betrays you. After someone you love dies. She stepped closer to him.

"Not a man." He reminded her. She wasn't looking at him like usual, it unsettled him. She kept coming closer, right in front of him now. And all the little spots of blood. Ambrosia, every single speckle on her honey skin calling to him. "I'm a vampire." He kept his demon in, barely, and lowered his mouth tentatively- almost tenderly, but he'd never call it that, to her scraped shoulder.

She gasped as his tongue slowly dragged across the painful skin. But the stinging stopped almost instantly. She watched as the skin, while still red and sore looking, stopped bleeding. "See? A man can't do that." He drew back, licking his lips slowly.

"Maybe a man can't heal me." She whispered.

"I can't heal you. Not the real wounds, Slayer, so don't delude yourself." He could comfort, he could help, he could teach her, he could care, yes, even like her. But he did not heal. He had tried. It had gone badly. He did not heal.

"Maybe you can't heal me. But you stopped hurting me, actually hurting me, a long time ago..." She explained softly.

_Damn her. Damn her, and me for letting her see, letting her learn_. Keep your enemies closer, bloody right. She was the best slayer there had ever been, would ever be. Because she actually listened. And then she did whatever the hell she wanted, until now, they were all sorts of linked together, and she knew him. Knew right where he was weak. Ashamed, angry, and defensive, he turned back into the linen closet with a growl. "Just help me find the soddin' sheets."

"I'll get them later." Her hand was on his shoulder. "We'll just mess them up now."

His jaw dropped, and he snapped it shut. He looked at her with wide, shocked eyes. "Uh-"

"You don't want to be with me now?" She took her hand off of his shoulder, and began to drop her head. _I'm strong. I'm a fighter. So what if he doesn't want me, he doesn't have to know it hurts._ She looked at him with a flinty gaze.

"No. No, I want to." He breathed out softly.

She dropped the act. He wasn't going to hurt her when she was vulnerable, not in here, in this way. The "enemies with benefits" deal wasn't finished after all. "Maybe you thought I was-"

He interrupted bluntly. "Nothing that berk did changes what I think of you." He took her shoulders, and pulled her close. "I'm not gonna ask you if you're sure. If you're all weak an' vulnerable, or if I'm your piece of meat for a bit of payback. You understand?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded, agreeing through closed lips.

"Good." He let go of her, one palm slightly stained with blood.

"Good." She whispered, and pulled him to her room. "Can you get the lights, please?" She whispered in a flat, polite voice.

"Whatever you say." She dropped the towel on the bed, smoothed it, and lay in the middle of it.

Even in the dark, without her covering, he could see all her scratched skin. "Poor Luv." He whispered and he meant it.

"We did it to him first. Well, second." She replied in the same flat tone she'd used earlier.

"Yeah. But you don't deserve this."

"I do."

"No. You don't. An' don't argue with me. Please."

"Okay." She sounded completely lifeless.

"Listen, Slayer, if I wanted to fuck a dead woman, I'd have kept Harmony around."

Her hackles rose slightly. "Sorry if I'm not 'perky'." She replied in a saccharine tone.

"There's my girl." He grinned, beginning to undress.

"I'm not your girl!"

"There's my bitch." He grinned more broadly.

"I am _sooo _not that!" She sat up and glared at him, flicking the bedside lamp on. "You're 'love's bitch', you said so yourself."

"Good thing this isn't love, init?" He rolled his tongue behind his teeth in a saucy smirk. She stared at him for a second before groaning.

"You're- very_ frustrating_."

"Oooh, that hurts." He eased down beside her.

"I don't love him, you know." She looked up at him as his hand came to rest on the leg closest to him.

"Yeah. I knew that." He replied softly.

"Why does it hurt then?"

"Because it still hurts if you try your best an' it doesn't come off." He sighed, shaking his head, knowing the truth of his words from long experience. "You tried."

"Not as hard as I could."

"I saw what you did for him, Buffy. You tried pretty damn hard." He answered honestly, sharply.

"Thank you." She rested her hand on his knee.

"Anytime. Quite a lot lately, actually."

"Yeah. We gotta stop this."

Why? It felt good, it didn't hurt either of them. If she broke it off with Mr. Large an' in Charge, and he got rid of Harmony, he saw no reason not to continue. But he didn't say any of that. "Glad you didn't want to stop just now. Would you like me to heal up the rest of the scrapes, Buffy?"

"Uh- if you want." She squirmed uncomfortably.

"You want music on?"

"No."

"Lights off?"

"Maybe."

"Is it the-blood?"

"Yes." She looked at him intensely. "That isn't why we got into this. Blood doesn't matter." Riley was with a vampire to be bitten. She was with a vampire because... because it was Spike._ If Spike were just a human, but he knew me this well, would I want it? Yeah._ Her conscience began to ease, and he finished putting it to rest.

"No, strictly speakin', in this room, blood doesn't matter. But you liked when I bit you, an' that was before he screwed up. So don't let what you saw tonight change what you remember."

She reached back and turned the lights off. "Make it better." She commanded softly.

"My pleasure." He took her roughened skin with soft, open-mouthed kisses, licking her skin to seal it.

He was thorough. God, he was amazing. Every touch of his lips made her tingle. "Spike-"

"Shh. You didn't wanna talk anymore, remember?"

So they were silent. Bodies talking more poignantly than words ever could. She opened her arms and he held her tight. _Comfort me. Hold me._

Her legs parted, and he took her hand, put in on his hardness. She had scraped herself down there, too, and he wanted her to move him the right way. _I won't hurt you here. _

She took his hand and they moved him in together. _This is about both of us._

She whimpered and he kissed her. His hand caressed her cheek, forcing her eyes to his. _Let me make it better. Know me well enough to let me try._

She broke the silence eventually with a breathy moan, calling his name.

"Sweet girl. You're a sweet girl, Slayer."

"Buffy." She corrected, arching.

"Buffy. Beautiful girl. My beautiful Buffy." He didn't notice the possessive, buried inside her tight, spasming tunnel, inhaling the pure scent of her and nothing but her, still tasting her on the tip of his tongue.

"I- I don't belong to you." She whispered shakily.

"Like hell." He nibbled her shoulder.

"I don't!"

"Like hell. You're my bloody fill in the blank, Slayer. Buffy. My enemy. My- lover."

"We're not lovers." A jolt tore through her, shock and worry. Lover- being lovers was an impossibility for people who did not love.

"No, but I don't know a term for people that meet for meaningful sex and a cessation of hostilities." He laughed into her neck and she smiled briefly.

"Just Buffy."

"Buffy." He kissed her breasts finding her nipple and kissing it. She let out a soft noise of discomfort. "You know I wanna rip his fuckin' head off? Wanted to before. Now... it's my mission." He moved away from the sore tip.

"He didn't do it to me."

"He made you feel dirty, cheap. Inadequate. Somethin' that makes you hurt this gorgeous honey an' copper skin. It's a crime to hurt skin like this. When not engaged in fightin'." He amended. Again, he was rewarded with a faint smile.

"I did it. I wasn't thinking, I guess."

"Do you do that to yourself when _we're_ done?" He paused inside her. _Please let her say no._

"No. I don't feel any of those things with you." She pressed a finger to his lips as he began to ask her more. "Quiet again?"

He kissed her hard, to keep his mouth busy.

* * *

><p>He moved slow and steady inside her. Like Riley. <em>Was that only tonight that he and I...? I'm just as bad. Two partners in one night. I'm worse.<em>

_She just went all rigid under me. Am I hurting her? I can't ask her that. I don't ask her things like that._ "You okay?". That was acceptable.

"I'm as bad as him." She whispered.

"No. No, you're not. That bastard-" His grip tightened on her, and he searched for a way to end his sentence. At the beginning of the week, before their little "contract extension", if she'd called herself bad, he'd have let her. He'd have encouraged her. Hell, he would have provided a long list of reasons why she should think she was terrible, in the self-righteous, self-involved, holier-than-thou category. Now it made him crazy to think of her comparing herself to that git, calling herself "bad". "You're just not."

"He was only doing what I'm doing. I probably drove him to it."

He growled, and he held himself in her, glaring down at her. "You wanna stop then? You want me to get off of you, out of you, so you can go run to him an' apologize for 'driving him to it'?"

"No." Her voice was just as hard, and she pushed his hips back slightly, squirming to get her shoulders up.

"What've you got to be sorry for, huh?" He demanded.

"Cheating on him!"

"Why'd you start?"

She paused. "That was an accident. He didn't know."

"No. He didn't fuckin' know. An' he never bloody will, because he's got some stupid ideas in his head about how you should act, an' you will never fit them. Unless you wanna change who you are, stop bein' yourself?"His tone was mocking by the time he ended. As if she'd ever be _able_ to change. Be able to stop bein' what she was.

_I can't. I can't, and I know it. Knew it._ She shoved him to the side, and stayed locked with him, wincing slightly and then completed the reversal, her on top.

"There she is. That's a strong woman. A woman like you doesn't fit with a man like him. That's why you never loved him, Sweetheart." He beamed up at her. _Look at what I've got... sorry, Soldier Boy. Chip or no chip, I've got the ticket to this ride- an' I think you've just lost yours._

"I don't love you either, you know." She hissed.

"Didn't say you did."

"If I'm not supposed to be with him, are you saying I ought to be with someone like you?" _Please let him say no. No, I can't be with someone like him. Can I? What if it...fits?_

" I dunno. You hate vampires. I'm a vampire. D'you hate me?"

"Sometimes." She whispered.

"Because of what I am, or who I am?"

"I- that's not a good question when I'm all-dumb." She concluded with a pout, and he laughed. "Well, it isn't!"

"I know. Sorry, Luv. I don't think you oughta look for a guy like me, no. Not exactly. He should know you like I do. He should respect your skills. Like things about you. But he should be nicer."

_He was changing the sheets for me. He hid at the hospital all day to hear how she was, he tells me the truth, he teaches me, he makes me feel-_, she circled her hips once, and he bucked up into her,_ so good_. "I think this amount of nice is okay." She whispered.

_What is she sayin'? That her an' I...? What _is_ she sayin'?_ His mind spiraled in a panic. "I'm not nice."

"No. But to me- and Mom and Dawn- you are." She collapsed on his chest with a frustrated moan. "What's happening?"

"Damned if I know! Don't know at all! But I do know one thing. You oughta be with a guy who loves you. An' I don't." He tilted her chin up so she could see him.

"I understand that." He patted her back, and she slowly sat up again. "But I shouldn't be with someone who loves me. Not yet. Maybe not ever. 'Cause I won't love him back."

"Yes, you will, Luv. In time. You'd love someone- if he was right for you."

She rode him slowly, sitting up, head back, not thinking anymore. The perfect day was ruined. She spent the night with her enemy, who somehow felt more like her partner. She looked down and realized their hands were laced together, resting on her splayed knees. "Thanks for being there today."

"Anytime." He whispered. What- why was she doing this? He shuddered under her touch as she caressed his face with her finger tips, and leaned down, kissing him again.

"A-always?" She asked in a tiny, frightened whisper that he could barely catch.

"Not goin' anywhere until you take me out. So I guess I'm available." He replied in a tense whisper.

"I mean- unless you think I'm using you?" She would never think that. But tonight, with that vampire whorehouse... nothing made sense. Maybe he would feel that way.

"You don't use people, Luv. I'm the one who uses people. But I have a feelin'-" He rolled her onto her back again, picking up the pace, tortured out of all proportion from just staring up at her and feeling her slow, gentle pulsing on his cock, "this is mutual."

* * *

><p>Riley staggered into his place. He was lightheaded and outraged and indescribably hurt. Plus guilty and out of breath. He should have chased them down, but he passed out, and when he came to, they were gone. It wasn't like he didn't know where they were going, he just hadn't had time to get there. He's spent the better part of an hour taking yards and back alleys to avoid the couple vampire goons who were trailing him.<p>

"Finn."

"Get out, Graham." Riley didn't even have to turn on the light to know who was standing there.

"What happened to you? You look white as a sheet."

"You wanna help? Leave."

"I'm not leaving."

"Then hand me the orange juice." Riley tore open a box of cereal and started eating it dry, feeling his strength return as he sat on the bed.

Graham passed him the bottle from the mini fridge. "You okay?"

"No. I'm not okay. And you can't make me okay, either, so I suggest you go."

"Not until I tell you about this mission. Ellis saw you in action. Your knowledge of demons and fighting them is huge. You could help us." Graham squatted by the edge of the bed so they were eye level. "C'mon, man. Think about it. What are you staying here for?"

* * *

><p>They eventually made the bed. And then he hesitated beside it. "Did you say earlier that you got rid of Harmony?" Buffy asked as she tucked in the final corner. "Or was that grieve-y, weepy Buffy's ears playing tricks on her?"<p>

"She's supposed to be gone when I get back. Can't stand her anymore, God knows how I stood her in the first place."

"She's ...cute?"

"Yeah, Luv, so's a box full of puppies, but I don't want them around me, yappin' all the time either."

"You missed Dru. You-you had to have someone." She reassured, sliding into bed, cool, crisp sheets refreshing her.

"Guess so. Guess it's in your nature, once you've had love, you look for it some more. Ease the hurt." He got in beside her, unsure if that was what he was supposed to do, but she seemed to expect it, instantly rolling on her side to look at him.

"_Ease_ the hurt. Yeah. It doesn't take it away, does it?"

"Not by a long chalk." He sighed.

"You really do understand stuff." She smiled softly. "About life."

"Vampires are like that, if they learn to control the demon. 'Cause see, you're dead, but now you've got_ lifetimes_ ahead of you to learn things. About love. Life. Death."

"Slayers don't live for very long." She shrugged. "Maybe that's why I don't get stuff."

"You get plenty. An' you're gonna live for a long, long time, all right?" He flicked the lamp off. Make her get some shut eye. Gotta be ready for the little bit and her mum.

"How do you know?" She asked.

" 'Cause you're mine to take out, remember?" _Because you know I have these stupid feelings for you, and I don't want to hurt you. Rather have this._

"Oh, yeah." She gave him a lazy smile. "Ditto."

"Sleep." He sighed. Girl was slowly drifting off, talking in slurred sentences.

"Not yet." She wriggled closer.

"Buffy..." Goddamn her soft, hot, little body. Instantly affecting.

"Shh." She took his hand and led it down. Fingers engulfed in wetness. He automatically began seeking her pleasure center and she squeezed him, dancing on him. "Shhhh." She repeated.

_Right. Back to bodies talking._ She eased his wrist up and down, two fingers sliding in and out. _I want you._

He groaned and took her hand, wrapping it firmly around himself, pumping with her a few times._ I want you just as bad._


	4. Chapter 4

**Should Have Known Better**

**By Sweetprincipale**

_A sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. Set during S. 5, beginning at the end of the episode "Listening to Fear" and goes off cannon._

_Author's Notes: Deep, but will be smutty and Spuffy. (Lots of introspection in the first couple chapters. Don't worry. Smut happens soon.) Had several people tell me they thought See You on the Flip Side needed a sequel, and goodness knows I liked the idea! Hope you all enjoy, read and review!_

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Idiosyncratic Delusions, Andrea Fangface, and Msnycegirl0820 _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

**Part IV**

He came with her to pick up the girl in the morning, wrapped under a blanket in the back of the Jeep. "You know what I said about you living for a long time?"

"Yeah?" She turned up her bubble gum rock music, all girls, glitter, and guitars, making his ears beg for deafness.

"I was wrong. Your drivin' is gonna end both of us."

"You said that was a third possibility. We'd both die doing something stupid that you decided to help me with."

"Yeah, but visitin' your mum isn't stupid- Stop sign! Stop sign, dear God, woman, that means you _stop_! I don't abide by most of the rules myself, but that one I happen to agree with!"

"Be quiet or I'm opening the sunroof." She threatened.

* * *

><p>Buffy brought her sister to the car with a cry of "Put your stuff in the trunk. The back seat's full." The girl seemed surprised to see he was the one taking up space.<p>

"You seem to be around a lot." Dawn commented matter of factly, climbing into the front.

"Yeah, well..." He didn't have a good answer for that.

"It's okay. Buffy trusts you."

"HEY!" Both of them cried indignantly.

"Sheesh!" Dawn rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're both weird." She crossed her arms. "I'm not going to school today, right?"

"Yes, you are. We're seeing mom, and then I'm dropping you off. Then Spike and I have to go to the Magic Box and... get something taken care of."

"Uh-oh. You found some new baddie?"

"A- nest. A bad, bad nest." Buffy muttered. Spike made a soft snort of agreement and went back to huddling under the blanket.

"You were supposed to relax! I thought last night was all romantic love fest-"

"No!" Buffy protested.

Spike un-huddled. "Not like that. I was jus' there-"

"He was helping-"

"Big Sis and I checked it out-"

"No romance-"

"Love fest, us, as if!"

Dawn looked at both of them like they'd lost their minds. Which, she considered, they might have. Her sister wasn't too bright in the first place, and Spike- well, he didn't always act like you'd think a vampire would. "I meant you and Riley."

"Oh. Ohh." Buffy blushed. Her eyes turned towards the horizon and she sighed. "Yeah. Well, the romantic part got cut short."

"But he certainly was helpful for locatin' the nest." Spike snarked.

"Spike!"

"I can't help it! I don't like the bloke." He censored himself heavily due to the presence of the youngest occupant of the car.

"You two better not fight in front of Mom!" Dawn threatened.

"We won't." Buffy replied, voice making sure there was no room for argument.

"How are we gonna get him in? They said only family for the first day."

"Just a reflection." Buffy muttered, negotiating a tight corner with less than graceful skill.

"Huh? Huh? Vampire's don't have reflections!" Dawn looked into the back seat.

"Not our faces. But ourselves- different story."

"O-kay." Dawn looked nervously between the two of them, both seeming to take an innocent question way into deep thought-ville. "I'm gonna assume this is some weird vampire/slayer thing, and pretend he's a long lost cousin or something."

That jarred Buffy back to reality. "What, Dawn?"

"The Bit's concerned about how I'll get in." He smiled at her. "Don't worry about that." His smile changed to a dark smirk, and Dawn giggled.

Vampires could be so cool...

* * *

><p>Joyce sat up in bed, groggy, hand covering her scalp. "Buffy! You should have warned me. I must look a mess."<p>

"Mom- you just had _brain surgery_. You can look a mess." Buffy hugged her mother tightly, reluctantly ending her turn for Dawn's sake.

"You look fine, Mom." Dawn cuddled up beside her immediately.

"You look lovely, Joyce." Spike said in a voice that made Buffy look at him curiously. It was mellower, not so coarse. William's voice. "Soon you'll be running yourself to earth at the gallery again. We'll get us a cuppa first day you're back on the job, alright?" Spike's voice slid back into place.

"All right." She laughed. And then winced. "Laughter- not ready for it yet."

"Oh, poor Mom. We'll keep it giggle free."

"Do you hurt?" Dawn looked at her with big worried eyes.

"Not really. Just laughing or coughing. Must jar things."

"Well, you've got good blood flow to the affected area, Joyce, it'll all be smoothed out in no time." Spike tossed out reassuringly.

"H-how do you know that?" Joyce asked in amazement.

"Vampire tricks of the trade. I know my blood. Can hear it and smell it." He smiled fondly, but then became businesslike again. "Tell when it pools, or clots, or there's poor circulation. Gotta concentrate bloody hard, but..." He smiled and took another sniff, leaning closer to Joyce. "Good so far."

"Ew. Ick. Ew and Ick." Dawn pulled Joyce farther into her arms. "No Mom-sniffing. Weirdo."

"Vampire, Bit. 'S what I do." He laughed at her disgusted expression, and Joyce laughed, too.

"Hey! No laughing. Spike! No making her laugh!" Buffy reminded him, slapping his arm. "And no sniffing. It's rude."

"It was medically related. Not for dinner. Therefore- helpful. Not rude." Spike argued, crossing his arms defiantly.

Joyce chuckled again. "No, Buffy don't give him a hard time. He can't help it. I'm just in such a good mood. Glad to be alive. See my girls." She held open her arm to Buffy, and she slid into the bed, all three Summers women together again.

Spike cleared his throat. "Be back in awhile. Let you lot have some family time."

"Well, be back up here in an hour. You're gonna have one really dusty walk home if you miss your ride." Buffy warned.

"You're eldest is a piece of work, Joyce. It's all right though. Lots of people do better with the second try." He winked at Dawn and left the room.

"I'm so gonna put the sunroof down." Buffy muttered.

"Oh, stop. No arguing. It was so nice of him to come."

"He came in yesterday, too. Buffy would only let him stay for a minute. He told us you had a strong heartbeat and good flow then, too." Dawn began fishing magazines out of her bag. "_Cosmo_ or _People_?"

"_People_." Joyce took one magazine. "Well, strange as he is, it was nice of him to stick with us through it."

"Oh, Mom, everyone else was here. They just said no visitors but immediate family for the first 24 hours. Everyone else will probably over tonight."

"That's so sweet. But-" Joyce's brow creased. "Then how come -"

"Spike has trouble with doing what he's told." Buffy grinned wryly._ In certain circumstances. In others, he very good at listening. Like last night... "What's that noise mean, Luv? Harder? An' that sound? Hmm? Am I hitting that sweet spot inside? _She shivered._ A _really _good listener._

* * *

><p>Riley walked into the wing where Joyce was staying. "Excuse me, Sir! Sir, you need to sign in." A nurse chased him down with a clipboard. "Patient's name and relationship."<p>

"Joyce Summers." Riley signed his name, only to have the clipboard slid out from under him. "Hey."

"I'm sorry, Sir. She can't have outside visitors until 12:30."

"I don't really need to see her. I need to see one of her daughters, Buffy."

"I'll see if she's there." The nurse walked away.

* * *

><p>Spike sipped his stolen blood. He hated to wash away the faint Buffy tastes from last night, but he figured at some point Commando Boy would be looking for him an' a brawl, and better to be at full strength. Sucking the last remnants out, he deposited the bag in a bin and walked quickly back towards Joyce's room.<p>

"But I only need to speak to her for a minute." A painfully recognizable voice was insisting. Spike paused and ducked out of sight._ That stupid wanker. Not bad enough you cheat on the girl in the midst of her celebratory night, now you come to the hospital where her mum's recuperating. Wanker! You got peace to make, fine, make it elsewhere._

"I'm sorry, Sir, the family is in with their mother now. This is the first time she's been awake, and-"

"Please, just tell her it's Riley Finn, and he only needs two minutes. It's urgent."

Moving like a shadow, Spike slipped and slid from doorway to doorway, keeping out of sight at all times, until he spun softly back into Joyce's room. "Buffy." He whispered.

"What is it?" Buffy instantly was off her perch at her mother's side, recognizing his urgent tone.

"Soldier Boy's out there. He wants to speak to you."

"What? Now? Here?"

"All of the above."

"This is totally not a good time." Buffy hissed.

"Bloody understatement." He didn't offer to handle it. You didn't handle battles for women like Buffy. Help, possibly, handle, no. Unless she specifically requested you to do something. _Her hand guiding your fingers in and out of the hottest, wettest velvet in creation, fingers twining with yours as she manipulated herself to the edge, every breath silently begging for your attention. _Those kind of requests, he could handle those...

"Excuse me-" the nurse poked her head in, "there's a gentleman outside-"

"Could you tell him that this is family time only, please?" Buffy cut her off.

"He seems very insistent."

"Then tell him to leave a message and I'll get back to him." Buffy's voice was quiet, but firm.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Buffy, who-"

"Oh, no one, Mom. Really, no one to worry about."

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry. She asked you to leave a message if it was urgent."<p>

"This is just great." He sighed. Riley'd already been to her house, called her house, and the Magic Box, which was still closed, and this was his last resort. But at least he knew where she was. He could just wait. "I'll just wait until they're done."

"That's fine, Sir."

He sat. He waited. Minutes ticked by and he went over and over every line of his explanation and apology, and his demand for _her_ explanation and apology. He leaned back and closed his eyes. It would end okay. It had to. If she wanted him, she had about 24 hours to make up her mind, or he'd take Graham up on his offer. And she would want him. She would understand, once he explained, that it was all for her, to try to know her better. She would see he had only done what she had done, and that she didn't need anyone but him anymore... Cloaked in these happy thoughts, he fell asleep. He had had a very long, rough, night.

He didn't wake until someone was prodding his arm. "Are you Ruthie's grandson?" A nurse was peering down at him.

"Huh? No. Oh, geez, I'm so sorry, I must've dozed off." The nurse nodded in understanding and then continued to hunt for Ruthie's grandson- whoever that was. He looked at the clock. Holy cow, he'd been out for nearly two hours.

He jogged to the nurse's station. "I was here earlier."

"Oh, yes- the Summers' family. I thought you'd gone. I'm sorry. All three of them just left."

"Joyce left? She just had brain surgery!"

"Oh, no. All three of her family members. The two girls and the man. I'm sorry, they left about twenty minutes ago."

"Two girls and a man." He repeated, rage building in him. "Thank you." He walked away.

* * *

><p>They dropped Dawn at school, and Spike went with her to the Magic Box. He listened, arms crossed, in cold silence, while Buffy explained what she had discovered, not mentioning the part about her pillock G.I. Joe bein' one of the patrons of the establishment.<p>

She was silent while her friends asked questions, exclaimed in varying tones of shock and disgust, even gallows humor. Anya, the ex-demon, she'd seen those places before so she alone seemed unruffled. The Watcher spoke, and revealed his knowledge of the subject.

"Oh, Buffy. These places have existed for years." Giles fluffed off the statement. "I had no idea there was one of these places in Sunnydale, but even if I had, I might not have told you about it."

Ohhh, bad move. Spike crossed his arms and waited. All her core Scoobies were there, the Watcher, two of the girls, and the boy. And all of them looked disgusted to some extent. But none of them saw the outrage and grief in the blonde explaining the situation.

"You might not have told me about it?" Her voice shook.

"You've had more pressing matters." He explained gently.

_Another guy who thinks he can't tell me the whole truth when I've got other issues. Riley not bothering to call about the Queller demon. Giles deciding, even hypothetically, not to tell me about a vamp cafe, never mind that my boyfriend was on the menu!_ Buffy bit back a torrent of angry words and frustrated tears. _Be strong. Be Slayer-like._

"Well, we have to stop it! Destroy the place!" Buffy cried, flinging open a weapons chest, selecting a cache of stakes and other deadly looking gear.

"This is more like it, less talk, more violence." Spike moved in to select some goodies.

"Buffy, I'm not sure this is where your efforts are best spent. Perhaps you should focus on ... a less ambiguous evil. Glory, for instance?" Giles looked at her gravely, taking his glasses off.

"You said people could die if theses vampires don't- don't play by the house rules." _Oh God. It was all a game to him, wasn't it? My girlfriend pals around with vampires, I will, too..._

"They're willing victims. I mean, there are people out there who deserve your help who aren't."

"Vampires are vampires. In almost all cases." She looked at Spike, with an appreciative, if hard, stare. _He doesn't wait to see what I can handle. He just tells me the damn truth. And guess what, I'll probably stay alive a hell of a lot longer with this vamp undead and helping me, than if he were dusty._ She returned her gaze to her friends. "My job description is pretty clear. Are you coming with me or not?

"What's the rush, Buff? If we're going into a nest, maybe we should come up with a strategy. Wait for Riley." Xander reached out a cautioning hand.

_Ooh, another one goes down._ Spike smirked. _It's the men more than the women. Sad, really. Maybe it's true what they say about female intuition or insight or what not. Or could just be that those two are dumb as bricks, an' I've been right the whole damn time about me bein' one of the few people who actually _knows _the girl._

Buffy scowled so hard she was sure her chin would cave under. _Riley. Do I have weak and feeble stamped on me? Or is Riley's "take care of me" mindset contagious?_ "Back me up or not, I'm going."

"I'm in." Spike smiled icily. "Vamps like that give all vampires a bad name. Not worth a second thought. Not worth a first one. Not one of them worth saving."

"Isn't 'vampire' synonymous with 'bad name' to begin with?" Xander queried sarcastically.

"Maybe. An' then these pieces of trash make it worse." He snarled.

"Somebody's wound pretty tight." Willow muttered.

"Got a few things in life I feel passionate about, Red." _Slayer's one of 'em_. "This is one of 'em."

"I agree." Buffy slammed out the door into the late afternoon sun.

"Anya, mind the store." Giles sighed. He, Willow, and Xander geared up and followed her in trepidation. Spike, though he had to keep out of the fading sun by sticking to the shadows, followed her gladly, and he alone was the one she seemed to slow down for, hang back for.

"The enemy of the enemy is my friend, hey, Luv?" He muttered, falling into step with her.

She paused and considered. "You're my friend now, is that what we're saying?"

"Well- uh- yeah. Sure. For right now." He agreed with a tight smile.

"Good." She threw him a quick flash of green eyes, hard and angry. He shifted into his game face. "Even better."

"Smash 'em to hell, Luv." _An if he's there, I'm smashin' him in, as well, chip or not._

* * *

><p>A quick search of the place revealed no vampires. "They must have scarpered. Don't worry, we'll hunt 'em down. I can ask around, see where they've gone."<p>

"I don't understand. This place was doing serious business last night!" Buffy looked around with tired and confused eyes. _Are you kidding me? I have to hunt them down, one by one?_

"Well, I guess everybody jumped ship once the word got out that the Slayer found their crib." Xander looked around the trashed building. "Whoa. I just want to apologize for the use of the word 'crib.'"

Buffy looked at Giles. "Do you think they'll set up shop again in town?"

"It's hard to say. I'm sure they'll lie low for a bit."

"But they're around somewhere. There's gotta be a way to find these creeps." She looked at Spike, and he nodded. Good. One of them was on the hunt with her. Her friends didn't seem to understand that this was urgent. _Then again, you didn't tell them that it was personal. _

"Don't worry, Buff, you'll find them."

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll get them next time, champ. But, uh- right now, don't you have other stuff to worry about? Dawn? Your mom?"

"Tara's picking her up from school. They'll go straight to the hospital and I'll meet them there." Buffy replied distractedly. Her eyes fixed angrily on a smoldering grill left in the center of the floor.

"Buff? What are you doing?" Xander asked warily, as she circled, staring fixedly at it.

"Getting rid of this place." She whispered._ It's not them, but it's a start._

"By burning it down?" Willow yelped.

"Quicker than tearing it down piece by piece." Spike, now in his human features lit a cigarette and took a long pull, almost draining the entire cylinder in one deep drag. "Here. Get you started." He flicked the glowing butt onto a ratty couch, which began to smoke.

"Really, you can't be so reckless-" Giles began, and then stopped abruptly when Buffy calmly, neatly, threw the grill onto the sofa along with Spike's cigarette. The couch began to shoot off plumes of smoke, the fire spreading as coals rolled and caught the newspapers and trash littering the floor.

"Let's go." Buffy murmured, eyes locked on the flames._ Everything we had- up in smoke... And I started it._ Spike kicked open the nearest exit, and waited for her to get out. _No, _we_ started it, Spike and I._ She watched the building start to glow with orange light and changed her mind once more. We _didn't _start _anything._ _We might have kept it going. But we'll put it out, too._

"I'm gonna stop by my crypt, see if Harmony's well and truly gone. If she isn't yet, I'll ask her if she's heard anything before she leaves. If I find any of 'em, they'll be kissing wood, okay?" Spike leaned against the building across the alley way, holding his hands out to the burning ruin, as if warming himself.

"Guys, can you hold down the Dawn fort for a little longer? I'm gonna see if I can get some leads." Buffy turned to her friends.

"Uhh- sure." Willow replied hesitantly.

"Do you want to call Riley in on this, Buff?" Xander asked. He saw Spike's furious scowl, and Buffy's eyes traveled to her feet.

"No." She answered quietly.

Giles looked at her curiously, then the building, and shook his head, remaining silent.

The odd quintet walked to the Magic Box, Spike remaining with them on the grounds that he could walk "where he damn well pleased" and it was on his way "sort of". Buffy thought he just wanted to be close to the action. For some reason, he seemed to take Riley's infidelity personally. _Because he cares about you. Don't even deny it. You know him, you know why. Because he cares about _you_._

Anya greeted them with relieved smiles. "Good job on not getting killed!"

"Thanks, honey." Xander kissed his girlfriend.

"I'm heading right out." Buffy told them. "If Tara calls-"

" Oh! She did." Anya came around the counter, with a message slip in her hand. "She said Riley was looking for you at your house- she and Dawn stopped by to get your mom some pajamas, she was tired of her hospital garb. And Riley called here. I told him you were out on the trail of some nasty vampire prostitutes and he hung up. He said you can beep him on his old Initiative beeper. He said he has to talk to you right away, it's urgent."

"Thanks for the message." Buffy replied, but said no more.

"I'll shove off then." Spike waved once, and left.

"I'm going, too." Buffy waved to her friends with a tense smile, and left in the wake of their half-hearted calls.

* * *

><p>Her feet headed after Spike's, a moment behind. He wordlessly paused in a dark alley, and waited for her to catch up. "Where're you fixin' to look first?"<p>

"You know the baddest places in town. You show me where to find them."

"Slayer, there are hundreds of spots-"

"Then you'll show them to me." She commanded softly.

"Right."_ No use arguin' with the lady._ Not about this anyway, because he was inclined to agree. "Quick check in my crypt, and then there's a sewer entrance nearby, leads to a whole soddin' mess of demon nooks an' crannies. It's a popular spot with the lower sort of vamps. Vamps like these."

"Then we'll start there." She started walking again, and they fell into step, heading towards his crypt.

* * *

><p>Riley had been everywhere, called everywhere. The Magic Box, the hospital, the house- constantly missing her. She didn't want to be found. But he had to find her, the decision, whether he would rejoin a demon-hunting unit and head off to Central America, was hanging on the conversation they needed to sit down and have. The apologies they needed to exchange, explanations they both needed to make.<p>

And there would be one thing standing in the way of him getting her to realize that it needed to be just him and her. That there couldn't be some third-party vamp that she went to instead of him. She had to trust him. Just him.

_That's not gonna be easy to convince her of- with what she's seen, and what she thinks._ But all he was doing was trying to be what she needed, get what he needed- to be what she needed. Spike was the one who ruined it. Brought her there and made it seem like he was being unfaithful, sneaking around, which yeah- in a way you could consider it like that._ He_ knew better. But Spike would never let her believe his explanations, he'd always be there in the background... wanting her for himself.

"Maybe I'm dark enough for you now, Buffy." He muttered grimly, slipping inside the ornate mausoleum, and waiting behind the door. He gripped the first stake tightly in his hand. Plastic wood-grain, very realistic. That was for the pain. He lightly stroked the second stake jammed into his belt. Hardest, top quality ash wood. That was for the kill- if the pain didn't work.

* * *

><p>"Jus' gimme a minute, I'll check." Spike didn't want the Slayer and Harmony together, if, as was too bloody likely, Harmony had decided not to listen to him, and was hanging around. Slayer didn't need one more piece of aggravation- an' neither did he.<p>

"I'm not afraid of Harmony, Spike."

"I know, but you've had a- a not so good night, an' she's the kind of girl who makes things worse. Rapidly." Spike shook his head at his folly. Yeah, she eased the pain, she was a comfortable shag, not creative, but pretty and affectionate. Too damn clingy. Eased the hurt in his heart- but gave him a massive pain in the head region.

Buffy smiled. "Have to give you that."

"Round the back about ten feet is the grate that leads down. Back an' left." Spike pointed out as they reached the entrance.

"Okay." She answered in a noncommittal tone. Spike went in, but she didn't move. She felt an odd need to wait for him. Maybe not so odd. He's with you on this.

Spike entered. "Harm? Ha-"

Riley waited until the door shut, then grabbed Spike hard by the collar and slammed into the wall.

"God, what is it with you an' slammin' me into things?" Spike growled, struggling.

"Shut up!" Riley growled back, stake flashing before Spike's widening eyes.

"Finally decided to take out the competition, huh?" Spike smirked. "Surprised it took you so long- takes awhile to get back to killin' strength after bein' bit, doesn't it?"

"You brought her there last night!" Riley flattened him to the wall, and Spike kicked his leg out, trying to sweep Riley to the floor. All that happened was a massive chip shock and Riley pushed him harder.

"So what if I did?" Spike snarled, one eye still on the stake, now drawing back. "I took her there to see you- I didn't force you to go. Don't kill the messenger."

"Why the hell not?" Riley hissed, and jammed the stake in hard, wondering how vampires could get hit in the heart, and survive the pain, and the damage, even if it wasn't real wood.

* * *

><p>Buffy heard the scuffle, and figured Harmony hadn't left. But like Spike trusted her to fight her own battles, she trusted him to fight his. She smirked, picturing the bleached blonde sending Harmony on her way. It was Spike's hoarse shout, pained and desperate sounding, of "Ow! Bloody hell!", that made her decide to see just what was going on.<p>

"Hey!" Spike realized he wasn't dusty. Hurt like a bitch, but not dead- not _deader_. He stared at the object shoved in his chest, and then raised startled eyes to Riley's face.

"Not wood, plastic. But it hurts, doesn't it?" Riley twisted the stake and Spike grunted, but didn't make any other noise, locking eyes with him. "Stabbed in the heart? I know what it feels like." He narrowed his eyes ever further, looking at the soulless demon in front of him, wondering why someone so good, so pure, so brave as Buffy would ever turn to a dark monster like him- when she could have had someone brave, caring, and kind. "You want her. But you're gonna stay the hell away from her- or next time-" He held up the wooden stake, holding it close enough so Spike could see what it really was- "I use this one."

Buffy walked in, eyes widening upon seeing Riley's back, and the stake held under Spike's eyes. "Riley! Stop!" She shouted, and ran towards them.

Twice she's caught me in the wrong place at the wrong time, Riley's heart heaved guiltily again, as he spun to face her.

Finally free, Spike clutched his chest with a soft curse. Buffy's eyes widened in horror. "Spike!" She gasped.

"Fine." He jerked out the piece of plastic, and leaned heavily on the nearest stone coffin, clutching his chest, wincing as the blood began to pour from the perfectly round puncture.

"I don't know what you did to her, how you brainwashed her, Spike, but you're gonna tell me what happened to Buffy, right now." Riley looked between the two others in the room. The one he hated most, the one he loved most.

"Why don't you ask her yourself, Riley?" Buffy asked softly.

"I know whatever happened, he's responsible for it. I know you'd never-" Riley licked his lips. "I know what last night looked like, but I can explain."

"I don't want an explanation anymore." Buffy whispered. "I don't think you want to hear mine either. Or you wouldn't be here, punching holes in people."

"Buffy, listen, we can talk this out." He crossed to her, and she backed up.

"No. I don't think we can." Her eyes darted to Spike and back to the man in front of her. _The good man or the bad man. The bad man knows me. The good man loves me. I don't want a love that I have to force. Just give me the one who- gives me what I need._ Her eyes shifted back to Spike. "You don't owe me anything. Nothing." Spike took a careful step nearer to her.

Riley caught the look, the cautious movement. All his worst fears, all the suspicions he had flooded back. What he had assured himself was nothing, was something innocent twisted into something impure by Mr. Impurity himself- slammed into him with heart-gutting realization.

"You? And him?" Neither one answered. "You were worse than I ever was- weren't you?" He started to shake, rage welling up and tears just under the surface. "While you were with me? With _me_?" He demanded, voice rising.

"I just wanted to be with someone who knows who I _am_. Not just what I _look_ like." She whispered, looking up at him, guilt and pleading for understanding warring with inevitable knowledge. _It was wrong. But it was what I needed..._

He flung his hands back in exasperation. "You won't ever let me _get_ to know you! It isn't my fault that I don't see the 'real you' or whatever you think I don't see. It's _your _fault, you won't _let_ me."

Spike chimed in, arrogance and criticism in every syllable. "It's not her job. It's _your _job. You watch her. You study her, you learn her, you may never _understand _her, but at least you'd _know_ her." He looked at her. That amazing machine of a girl. Greatest adversary. Greatest ally- when things were mutually convenient. And greatest lover- or whatever term applied to them -again, when mutually convenient. "It's hard work, but it's worth it." He murmured. Buffy looked away from him, a faint rose coloring flushing her cheeks that were pale from stress and exhaustion.

"You only know her 'cause you want to kill her. That kind of knowledge means nothing. You're like an obsessed stalker, you're only 'learning' about her so you can hunt her!" Riley's exasperation was mounting, he could feel himself losing control. Why could he spin these lies, and why couldn't Buffy see them? Why would she ever believe that his tamed act wasn't anything more than one more ploy to get her where she was vulnerable? Maybe she wasn't too "bright", but she had to be smarter than this.

"Maybe I'm obsessed, but I'm not a stalker anymore, mate. Once you've caught it..." Spike gave him a smoldering smirk, leaving the sentence hanging. _Oh, I've caught her, and you know it. All the little things you pretended weren't happening, you have to believe 'em now, Commando. The wolf ate your little lamb, and God, she was delicious. _Spike licked his lips, remembering her taste.

Tongue running over the lips, smirk curling to show his teeth- fangs, always fangs. Always the threat, then her scars, the knowledge she'd been bitten, the needing to find the dark, finding his own scars- something inside him snapped. _I'm never gonna be dark like that. And I don't want to be. A demon is a demon, and I never, ever should have let her make me forget that._ _A demon is a demon, and I _kill_ them._

* * *

><p>Buffy usually wasn't the quiet, but annoyed, bystander type. But Spike was explaining something that he knew how to do- that apparently no one else did. He was way good with words, whereas she tended to fall apart and just punch things. Actually, Spike did that, too- wow. Scary. They really did have a lot in common, a lot of knowledge about one another.<p>

She hurt for Riley. But not enough to try to make herself into someone else for him. She still cared enough about him that she didn't want him to try to be someone else for her, either. She finally looked up at him, features softening- until she saw his hand diving...

* * *

><p><em>Oh, sod it all. Pushed him to the breaking point. Gonna go all Vietnam on me. Bugger, no, not me- it's not me! It'll be<em> her_, he knows I want her, and he's about to do the whole "If I can't have her, you won't have her, either" shit._

* * *

><p>Riley's finger found the trigger of the pre-loaded crossbow strapped to the inside of his vest. Quick tug and the weapon was in useable condition, quick aim- and goodbye demon.<em> She'll be mad <em>now_, but when she's free from him, it'll be like when she was free from Dracula. She'll be herself again. If she doesn't love me, doesn't end up with me, she'll still be good again. I can still save you, Buffy. Because I love you..._

* * *

><p>How does everything happen all at once, and then go so slowly? She moved towards Spike, slayer instincts realizing that she'd have a better chance of blocking the shot than getting the bow from Riley's hand-<p>

* * *

><p><em>Zing- the noise of a released trigger and the string no longer taut.<em>

* * *

><p><em>Goddamn it, bloody chip, stupid heroics...<em> Spike made a shove for her- only to smack his outstretched hands into hers as they were reaching for him.

* * *

><p><em>Stupid vampire, you moved, we're out of position, oh God.<em> Her eyes were panicked, but determined.

* * *

><p><em> Swishhh- a slim wooden stake hurtling through the air.<em>

* * *

><p><em>She's in the way!<em> "Buffy! NO!" Riley's eyes widened in horror. _Not her, it was never supposed to be her. I'm supposed to save her, I'm the knight, she's my princess..._

* * *

><p>Hand slammed over Spike's heart.<p>

Hand slapped over her hand in the same second.

_Thhhick- wood sliding into flesh and ripping skin._

And time returns to normal. Three equally horrified, panting, gasping figures frozen in a strange situation they never dreamed would exist.

_She's alive. So is he._ Riley blinked, and sucked in a shuddering breath.

Spike and Buffy's eyes were staring in disbelief at their hands. The thin arrow stuck cleanly through the back of his pale, hand- and exited through the other side.

The arrow exited his milky hand and entered her pale pink skin, again passing through and emerging painfully, not through her palm like his was, but between two knuckles.

Finally the tip pierced his chest, already in the crater Riley's plastic stake had created. But only a centimeter in- his heart was spared.

Riley took in the sight of them as they fell to the floor. Their hands were joined and pressed to his chest in a strange position hands should never be in. Speared together. His blood, and her blood running down his torn shirt and their skin, staining their hands. She would never be saved, she was stained. She had chosen to save him. To save a demon.

_She's right. I will never know her. I will never understand her. Maybe this was what being the "Chosen One" meant._ "You two deserve each other." He whispered harshly. He dropped his bow on the floor and walked out. Back to the real world. Where the good guys get the girls, and the monsters get to die...

* * *

><p>Spike stared after him. That was unexpected, that last bit. Just proved to him, that he could never really be right for the girl. You didn't walk away from a girl like this one, not if you loved her. Angel was a bloody fool, and so was this wanker. Not that it mattered to him, not that he would claim to love her. He just happened to prefer stayin' around her lately. That was all. "We're a mess." He looked down at the hands pinned to his chest, literally pinned.<p>

"Pull." She gasped, and the tip came free from his chest, a joint groan of pain assailing them.

"Let's yank this out- you can go after him." Spike took her shoulder under his free palm, both of them raising to their knees, and prepared to try to separate themselves.

"No." Buffy said quietly, firmly. "I'm tired of chasing after guys. Angel wanted to leave. I didn't want him to, he left. Parker wanted a one night stand, then I wanted more, so I followed him like a hurt puppy. Riley's the only one with reason to leave- so I'll let him." _I'm done. I'm _done. Just done.

They sank back to the floor again, sitting close for necessity's sake, joined as they were. "Don't just yank it out- I think- I think it broke a bone in my hand." Buffy winced, finding she couldn't move her rapidly blackening knuckles.

"Here, get up."

"But we just sat." She protested.

"We either walk to your Watcher's- joined up like circus freaks- an' let him play doctor, or you take a few good swigs of my friend Mr. Daniels to numb the pain, an' you let me help you. Then you help me." She nodded with a reluctant sigh.

Carefully, supporting each other, not only out of concern, but because each other's movements caused pain to both, they made their way to the liquor.

"I don't drink this stuff." Buffy gagged at the smell.

"You'll get more out of it then." He smiled. "Here, take the bottle- and don't fuckin' drop it, okay?"

"I'll do my best not to ruin your stolen booze because you're jerking a piece of wood out of my broken bones!" She spat. He rolled his eyes and pressed the bottle to her lips. She felt his other hand, his freed one, wrapping tightly around the wrist of her impaled hand.

"Drink, now." He ordered.

"Bleagggh! Oh God, blagh! Ugh, yeeesh!" She spat, gagged, sputtered and shook her head in a shudder. "OW!" The last was a gasp of pain. "Spike! You butthead! That didn't help the pain at all!" Her hand, bloody, but free, now rested limply at her side.

"I didn't s'pose it would." He grinned cockily. "But I figured you'd be so bloody disgusted, so busy hatin' the taste, and spluttery, little whiskey virgin that you are, that you'd be distracted enough for me to get it out."

"I hate you sometimes." She pouted and licked her stinging lips.

"I know, Luv it's mutual." He took the bottle from her and drained quite a bit of it. "B'sides. Didn't want you sloshed when you're workin' on me."

"Good point. Here." She braced his arm over hers, getting her good hand on the arrow, her damaged hand useless, just there for supporting his weight as she tugged. "On three?"

"Right." He swallowed another hefty chug. She pulled. "Bloody, buggerin' fuck!" He roared. The wood clattered to the floor and he sucked at his wound. "Goddamn, it hurt."

"No kidding." She winced and found she couldn't flex her fingers.

"Here, can you help for a second?" Spike managed to flip out a cigarette and fix it in his mouth. Buffy helped him with the lighter, and he took a puff in, relaxing visibly.

Spike watched her little hand, bloody and bruised. _Stupid chit. Gettin' hurt like that. But she does that. She throws herself in harm's way, Stupid, brave chit. Stupid and brave. Got a lot in common._

"What?" She hid her hand in her lap, not liking his fixed gaze.

"You were upset when you thought he'd gotten your kill, huh?" He tried to laugh off the fact that she'd gotten between him an' the boy, twice in two days.

"Not so much." She tried to laugh it off as well.

He continued to tease,"Well I'm offended. Thought we had a deal, you get me, or I get you." He took the cigarette out to expel some smoke. "Wanna puff? Calms the muscles, might help your hand." He held it out to her.

She ignored his offer, instead speaking softly, almost to herself, but her eyes were riveted to the deep gouge in his chest. "I was worried he'd got you. But not that I didn't get to kill you. I was worried -you'd be gone." _And no one will ever know me again. And no one will ever give me that look of peace again. No one will ever let me be weak again, without making me_ feel_ weak. I need Spike. _"I was worried you were going to -go."

He shifted uncomfortably, not just from the pain, but from the warmth of her tone. He laughed it off again. "I thought you might've been- would explain the mighty large splinter you picked up."

She flushed. _Remember he's a jerk? Yeah, so don't go all mushy, because it's Spike, everything's a joke, a smirk, a gloating opportunity to him_. "Okay, then why'd you put your hand over mine?" She demanded.

He shrugged and lied. "Was just coverin' the heart, Luv."

"Oh."_ Duh. Everything was happening so fast. Your hand just happened to slam down on his chest first._ Feeling suddenly awkward and embarrassed, she moved farther away.

"Did you think I was tryin' to protect you?" He scoffed. Protecting her made her bloody furious. A fool tried to protect the Chosen One. They protected the whole ruddy world, didn't need sidekicks to deal with just one deranged ex. She'd been through a lot, no need to let her think you were worried she couldn't handle it.

"Yeah, that was stupid of me." She looked disgusted with herself._ Why would he do that for you? It's not like you were the one in danger, of course he was trying to get out of the way, protect his own heart._

_Wait, is she- disappointed I wasn't? That's her. The pretty piece of paradox. Fuckable body, innocent face, bitch half the time, sweet half the time, don't dare make her feel weak, but God help you if you don't offer the support._ He sighed. _She just wants someone to care, an' you do. Bugger._ " Look. You don't need me to protect you." They exchanged a gaze and she accepted the truth of his words with a shrug and nod.

_Oh, but hell. We don't lie to one another anymore..._Spike looked down, took a swig of whiskey, a puff on his smoke, stalling for time, and then burst out, flinging his cigarette savagely away, "Oh hell. I didn't know who he was aimin' at, at first! I was gonna push you clear, okay? Bloody surprised when you were coverin' me at the same time." When he looked up, she seemed to be much closer to him than he remembered. And her eyes were no longer teasing, nor angry. They were deep, penetrating. Asking him questions. But he had his own. "Why'd you do that?"

"Why'd _you _do it?" She pressed her wounded hand to his gently, just letting the uninjured sides brush.

_Can't think when she's brushin' me like that._ "I don't know. I don't know, maybe-" He didn't know, honestly, everything was so muddled.

_Why would he? Why would I?_ She sought the easiest explanation. "Maybe you like what we have?" She asked in a slightly shaky voice.

"What do we have?" He let his little finger twine with hers, trying to calm the rising lust he felt when she was close, trying to drown out the thousand contradicting thoughts in his head.

"I don't know." She whispered, breathing harder, her free hand hesitantly caressing his injured chest.

Suddenly, they were fused together. Kissing hungrily, almost whimpering into each other with the need for what remained undefined.


	5. Chapter 5

**Should Have Known Better**

**By Sweetprincipale**

_A sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. Set during S. 5, beginning at the end of the episode "Listening to Fear" and goes off cannon._

_Author's Notes: Deep, but will be smutty and Spuffy. Had several people tell me they thought See You on the Flip Side needed a sequel, and goodness knows I liked the idea! Hope you all enjoy, read and review!_

_WARNING- Smutty chapter! Also important, but lots of smut. Skim if you gotta get back to the plot._

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Idiosyncratic Delusions, Andrea Fangface, and Msnycegirl0820 _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

**Part V**

"Give me your hand." He whispered raggedly, breaking the kiss. She lifted her knuckles to his touch, waiting for the feel of his healing tongue. She gasped and dug her other hand into his calf as it rested in front of hers, partly in pain, and partly in pleasure.

The wound was already closing, and she knew she'd be better soon. But him- she kissed him deeply, tongue tangling with him.

_God, she wants it, regular little firecracker in the face of tragedy._ She always was- at least with him. He felt her practically scooping him out with her soft, warm tongue. And just as he was about to get his hand into her shirt- she jerked back, and pushed him flat on his back. "Yes, Luv." he moaned, liking this aggressive side- only to find her motives were not what he'd expected. Her hand pushed his shirt up, and he felt her moving her wet mouth all over his injured left side.

"Does vampire spit even work on vampires?" She asked quizzically, still dropping those sweet, suckling kisses.

"Not much, but it helps. That _bloody_ helps." He arched into her mouth. Resuscitating his cock, if not his internal organs.

"You healed me, I wish I could do the same. Too bad Slayer spit doesn't have-" Her eyes flashed up to him, and she blushed. "You could- have what I have. That heals."

His eyes flashed amber and back to blue in a second. "Thanks. Take you up on it. Eventually." He pulled her back down, this time to his mouth.

With only one uninjured hand each, plus a socking great hole in his chest, it was going to be- tricky. But if you want it enough...

* * *

><p>Together they tugged his zipper down, freeing his hardness. Together they unsnapped her, working her pants down completely, kissing more frantically all the time. "Just push it to the side." Spike advised, gasping as he felt her hot wetness pressing to him, only shielded by a thin piece of cotton. Her nimble fingers obeyed, pulling her panties to the side and sitting down on him gently, almost losing her balance. She pushed her palm into his left shoulder and he hissed.<p>

"Sorry!" She apologized.

"Teach you about how to add the pain, later." He teased.

"Pervert." She blushed.

"No. Not if you don't want that. Never hurt you here." He reminded her. Funny how "here" had moved from beyond her bedroom. "Here" was- well- wherever they were together.

"I know. I know you." She smiled briefly, and regained her position.

* * *

><p>Sex was awkward, but good. They felt comfortable with one another, force of habit, previous experience, knowing you've already been seen in a much worse state, and all that. Quiet this time, too much hungry kissing to leave room for many words. Finally, deciding that he would need some assistance in terms of positioning to be giving her an orgasm and a bite at the same time, he asked her to move off him. She did, but she kept her hand in his unbuttoned jeans, fingers brushing lightly on his wet shaft.<p>

"Up here." He patted the top of the coffin, the cold stone under his palm. She climbed up, and began to lay back. That hadn't been his original intention, but he went with it, for a minute anyway. He dropped to his knees in front of her split, puffy peach. Leaking him from last night. Swollen from her violent scrubbing last night, and now from the faint friction of his zipper against her outer lips. He hesitantly dug his tongue in, waiting to hear a noise of pleasure before pressing in deeper.

_God, he's so good to me. Injured as we are, he's so much worse than me, and he must really hurt- and he's still_- "Ohh, oh yes!"-_so good to me._

There it was. That was his cue. He dove in with a huge smile and lapped her up, inside and out, sucking softly on her clit to give her that extra push into orgasmic territory. "We taste good together, you know that?"

"No. I didn't." She moaned as his finger dipped into her, touching that secret spot that wasn't found nearly often enough. He pushed against it roughly a few times, until she squeezed, and then his finger came out, wet and glistening.

"Here. Taste."

"N-" She was about to refuse, and he cocked one dark brow at her. Hell. _If he thinks I'd like it... he knows me pretty well..._ she licked him hesitantly and then sucked hard. He groaned, like she was sucking something else. _Hmm. Not bad._ But the real fun was making him make that noise.

He slid back into her, and used his good hand to scoop her up, sitting her chest to his. The edge of her pert little cheeks was resting on the lip of the rough slab, and her legs were wrapped around his waist. He started taking her hard, much harder than before, this position making it possible to go at it like they weren't injured, like he wasn't in almost as much pain as pleasure. Thank God pleasure was still holding the edge slightly.

His lips brushed her neck, and she gently pressed his mouth to it. "Get better."

He nuzzled. "It can heal your heart, right?"

He stopped moving against her, and she loosened her fingers from the back of his neck. "Uh- I just meant-"_ I didn't mean his heart, like his "emotional pain" heart, I meant the big icky hole thing. I didn't mean to say that. Why do I say stupid stuff in front of him, of all people?_

"Yeah, Buffy. You'll fix me fine." He pressed closer to her, and rocked her hips into him a little more urgently. Why had this stopped being just sex? He was furious with himself for wanting it- for wanting her. Not just her feel, and her taste, her scent. Now it was her- companionship. He liked this just a little too much.

Then she spasmed and arched around him, and clutched him to her with her legs as they wrapped around his waist. Never mind all the thinking- that was for pillocks who didn't enjoy the ride they were on. He didn't give a damn anymore. Her body went into a prolonged milking surge, and he sank his teeth in gently, gulping her down in time with his spurts, one, two, three, and finished. She was still going, but he didn't mind that. Just held himself in and enjoyed this unique massage.

"Wow. I- I forget how good that is." She blushed and collapsed back, smiling up at him.

"It _is_ damn good." He scooted up beside her, wounds already healing, hand completely closed, that fast. "Brilliant. You're brilliant."

"You're not so bad yourself." Honesty being a given in their strange sexual friendship slash enemy-ship, she sighed and stretched her legs out, before saying, "I kinda like 'whatever'."

He smirked and reached over to fondle her breast, amazed that he was getting this benefit in their odd packaged deal. "Yeah, Luv. Our 'whatever' that we have is damn good."

* * *

><p>Once she told her friends about Riley being on the customer end of the vampire whorehouse, and that Spike had been the one to bring it to her attention, their attitudes towards the odd relationship that was growing between the vampire and slayer began to change. <em>Began<em> to. And of course, they would never explain what exactly they had between them, because they didn't know what it was either. Without ever saying anything, they just knew they wanted to be around each other. Which they tried to deny, fight the urge for, and make excuses about. That lasted about two days.

Then they tried- without really trying- to work each other into their lives.

* * *

><p>First step- admitting they just happened to like to be around one another. Spike came to visit Joyce at the hospital, and then began to visit the house each day when she came home. Sometimes Buffy was home, which was nice, and sometimes she wasn't, which could be nice, or not. It all depended on whether they were in an admitting they liked each other mood at the moment.<p>

He didn't know how to interact with them- but he was a cocky bastard, and he prided himself on being able to smarm through anything. Plus- the Summers women were interesting. The little one, now that was one worth watching, something of the hell on the wheels that Buffy could claim- but she had no purpose in life to let out all that badass lurking under the surface. She had a temper and a Buffy-annoying capability that rivaled his own. What's more- the chit had a little crush on him, and he had to like being admired by someone so damn cheeky. Joyce was like his mother. The more he talked to her every day, the more he saw resemblances that made his heart hurt with memories, but made him smile even more. Last, but most important, was Buffy- God that was an entirely different matter...

* * *

><p>She didn't know what the hell they were going to do to not kill each other. He smoked in the house- but never in front of her mother. He left bloody mugs in the sink- although again, not when her mother was home. He nicked- no stole, dammit, no British slang!- from the store, he annoyed Xander, he annoyed Giles, he annoyed her.<p>

Then he'd do nice stuff like stop by the art gallery every day to get the latest and bring home gossip and coffee for her recuperating mother. He tried to repair holes in the wall- that failed, and Xander had to come in, but he'd tried. He would talk to Dawn so she could get her crushing load of semester make up work done. Like always, he was involved in her patrols, the hunt for Glory, her protection of the key, even if he didn't know what it was. Although, she watched from over her History book as he sat staring at Dawn with a puzzled frown on his face, brows knitting, she thought he might know, or was beginning to suspect. But he'd never betray her. None of them. The worried knot in her stomach eased when he was around.

* * *

><p>At first they kept apart almost as much as they were together in their free time. That suited them. They were loners, or at the very least, social in different ways. No one realized they were intimate, they never kissed hello or goodbye, held hands, or called each other pet names, except from his standard calls of "Luv" or "Pet", but he called every female that at one point or another. Their entire relationship was hit or miss. At first. That lasted about two weeks.<p>

* * *

><p>Sex was grabbed wherever they could, always good, but always fast. Should be a dream come true, Spike grumbled to himself. Hot, passionate trysts stolen here or there. No strings attached. So why did he crave holding her after, wanting to do it over and over again, like they had those very few times that seemed to make up half his waking thoughts, and all of his sleeping ones?<p>

* * *

><p>Sex was perfect. No emotional strain. Good, plenty of it, he didn't smother her, didn't demand she say words she didn't mean, and he was always there when she wanted him. Then why did she miss him so much? Why did she hate when they left one another afterwards? Why did he look at her so hungrily, as they parted? And, more importantly, if he was her reflection, did she look hungrily at him as well?<p>

* * *

><p>It was the end of two weeks. Joyce was up and around, attempting to make dinner. Everyone had been there, and couples were now pairing off to leave. The lover- wiccas, Demon girl and the carpenter. Giles off on his own, casting sideways smiles at Joyce the whole time. Librarian'd gotten his leg over once, he could tell. Dawn went up to her room with a yawn and a trace of ice cream on her cheek.<p>

He and Buffy were doing the washing up in silence, brushing their hands together in the water where no one could see them, if there'd been anyone left to see them.

_She just smells divine, she looks so sweet, all pink and pretty..._

_He's got all the rippling going on. How can he make scrubbing the sauce pan look like foreplay? I wonder if he ever thinks about what he said-_

_-that first night she asked me what love was supposed to be like, and I said it was s'posed to be_ _"when you can't even see straight when you can't see them. When you can smell them, taste them, feel them, even when they aren't with you. When your blood cries out for their blood, like calls to like, every part of you has a reflection in them. When you're so drenched in them-" _

"_-when you can still feel them inside you, or around you, when you've tasted all their secrets. It's when you still hear their screams, their moans, in your head, even after they're asleep beside you."_ She blushed and wondered if he realized-

_-that's what we've got. Christ, can't love her, can I? Not the big "L". Not with her, that's-_

_-for Angel. Or no one. Not him._

_Then why do I keep feeling those things? _They both wondered.

"You two are so quiet in here! Are you that exhausted?" Joyce laughed softly as she came in the kitchen with the last of the desert plates.

They both jumped. "Uh- yeah. Yeah, Mom. That thing we were dealing with last night on patrol wore us out."

"Spike, do you want me to make up the couch for you?" Joyce asked, sweet, maternal concern in her voice.

"What- sleep here?" Spike was rattled out of all proportion.

"I'll do it, Mom, you rest. You start back to work in another week. You_ need_ to rest."

"I can just-" Buffy dug her nails in hard to his hand, hidden under the soapy water. "-uh, make it up myself." He swallowed.

"Oh no, you don't. You two." Joyce smiled and shook her head.

"Us two?" Buffy asked nervously.

"The two of us?" Spike asked, even more nervously.

"You're so sweet! But you make me feel like a little old lady! I'll go make up the couch. Spike- you're welcome to stay here any time. But- no smoking."

"Yes. Of course, Joyce." _Dear God, what am I, a Boy Scout?_

* * *

><p>It was no trouble for a vampire to tell when someone's sleeping and when someone's awake. Upstairs, he heard two soundly sleeping bodies, and one body that was almost about to burst with excitement. The whole night together... he tore up the stairs with cat like speed and silence, boots left on the floor downstairs.<p>

As soon he tapped softly, she unlocked the door, and he was in her arms. "Oh, God, Luv, missed this room so much." He breathed into her ear. This room was for them. He missed her. He missed being together like this. But the room had to get the credit.

"Spend the night here sometimes?" She said between kisses.

"As much as you want." He promised, already working his fingers up under her night gown. Which- "What's this thing then, Buffy?"

She was in some sheer pink concoction, nipples pushing through the thin gauzy fabric, and pouty nether lips peeking at him. "It's um... It's nothing, I can take it off-" She felt her confidence suddenly leak out as he smirked at her.

"I think it's sexy that you dressed up for me. If it's for me." He shrugged. _Maybe she just liked this frilly stuff. Only been here for the purposes of shaggin', no night attire required._

"Of course it's for you." _Confidence flooded back. This is about Spike and me. Sex- and passion- and- and that weird bonding stuff we have._ "Come on. I missed you."

She missed me, his unbeating heart gave a quick leap, and he moved in.

"We just have to be quiet." She reminded him.

"I will be. If you will be." He teased, rubbing a nipple, making her instantly squeak in pleasure.

"Music. Music is needed." She put in the Pink Floyd CD, and they shared a reminiscent smile as a song began to fill the room.

In a few short minutes- foreplay going on high speed tonight because they were practically dripping in lust- he was sheathed in her, her hands clutched tight on his biceps. "Can't stand not havin' you more than once or twice in a row." He panted out, his brain not even bothering to send reminders that that was probably an emotionally risky statement. He tended to disregard those statements. In this room, he and Buffy were mirrored perfectly. There wasn't much in the way of risk. Not really.

"Come here as often as you can." She dug her fingers in, and arched her bare chest to his lips. "Spike. Spike, I want you." She whispered in a tight, needy moan. The voice of his dream.

"I promise. I promise, Luv."

They soothed their lust with several rounds of animalistic passion, before they were sated enough to curl up together, still stroking and teasing. Her hand moved his fingers around inside her slickness, moaning and arching in the crook of one arm. "That's my Buffy."

She didn't deny it, but she bit her lip. "We- this is so good. But if you're always here..."

"I know. I'll limit it. A couple times a week." He quickly agreed with her unspoken worry.

* * *

><p>Twice a week lasted for one week. Three and half weeks after Riley left, Dawn and Joyce got used to the fact that four out of five mornings, they'd wake up to a very pale man making hot cocoa in the kitchen, his sheets and pillow folded neatly and put in the coat closet. By the third time it happened, they stopped looking surprised and started hurriedly adjusting blinds to avoid their houseguest bursting into flame.<p>

Her friends were not so as accepting, once they found out that Spike sometimes- occasionally- okay, often- spent the night.

* * *

><p>Buffy could have killed Dawn. It was her fault. Spike wasn't even there. She was quietly in the Magic Box, doing homework, while she and Giles were training. Then suddenly she heard, clear and loud as a broadcast bulletin, "Next time Spike spends the night, we should tell him to close the drapes before he goes to sleep. Then we wouldn't all have to rush around in the morning to make sure he doesn't catch fire."<p>

Buffy's sword chopped a wide slice in the speed bag as it flew backwards out of her suddenly boneless grasp. Giles ducked and shouted. The rest of the store was cloaked in an eerie silence. Finally, Buffy heard Willow's very quiet voice ask, "What, Dawnie?"

"Well, in this math problem on elapsed time we write down our morning schedules- and I just realized I spend four minutes a morning putting the blinds down so Spike doesn't burst into flame- oh, but you know what, he makes cocoa, so that saves four minutes- maybe more. I might actually come out ahead in the time bank..." Dawn looked up as her sister, blanched, and carrying a retrieved sword, came out, looking furious. "Now, what? You know what- fine, I'll put the blinds down myself. Every night. Just in case he comes after I'm asleep like he does sometimes."

"What? _What?" _Xander's voice was much less quiet, and way more freaked.

"Oh. My. God." Anya gasped. "You two?"

"Geez! No. It's totally not like that. He sleeps on the couch. Some nights." Dawn suddenly realized her misstep and she bit her lip. She liked Spike. A lot. He treated her like a person. Not even like Buffy's sister. He used to treat her just like that, like everyone else did, but then he started to treat her like an individual. Almost like she hadn't known him on and off for four years. Plus her Mom liked him, and he never called her "kid", like that poop head Riley, who had cheated on Buffy (with a vampire ho! Spike and Buffy killed all those trashy cheaters). Spike- sigh- rocked.

"Um. Dawnie, come with me. Let's go get some doughnuts. It looks like a long research session." Tara took the young teen with her, and out of the way of her sword wielding sister. Dawn cast a deeply apologetic look over her shoulder, and Buffy felt some of her anger melt.

As the bells over the door jingled merrily over the departing pair, Buffy faced her Watcher, her two best friends, and another close friend, all of them looking at her with disbelieving, and in some cases, disappointed, eyes. "Buffy?" Willow's voice encouraged her to explain.

"I hang out with him. No big." She fidgeted nervously. "Is it?"

"Uh- hanging out- no." Giles cleared his throat nervously.

"More than that- totally yes, it's a big!" Xander stormed over to her. "Buff- it's Spike. _Spike_. He of soulless, lying, cheating, murdering, vampire, _slayer-killing _fame."

"First thing- take out cheating." Buffy demanded coldly.

"Okay. He of the _faithful_, soulless, lying, murdering, vampire, slayer-killing fame!" Xander hissed, banging his fist down on the counter, spilling a collection of chicken's feet and glass beads, making Anya gasp and rush to pick up her merchandise.

"He and I have a kind of- deal. We have a - a- permanent truce." They had never said that. But her side of the truce was now a permanent thing. She'd decided in her heart weeks ago, now she said it aloud, and meant it. And if she felt that way, she knew her other half- as in mirror-y other half!- would feel the same.

"Plus, he is harmless." Anya pointed out, examining her precious chicken feet.

"A-and people have rebound guys. Sorry! I don't mean he is. Or you are. Is he? Are you?" Willow burbled, worry and confusion making her sound incoherent.

"No. He's not a rebound guy. Look- I don't love him. But he is in my life. He and my family get along really well. Plus- hello- Slayer, here. I'm not supposed to have long-term relationships. Right, Giles?"

"Well- strictly speaking- it isn't forbidden. Just not done. Usually." Giles looked uncomfortable. He would love for her, his almost daughter, to have everything in the world, husband, children, long life included. But he knew it was unlikely. Unless, of course- she found a partner who could provide some extra, near slayer-like assistance and protection._ Hmm._

"See?"

"So you're not in love with him?" Xander looked relieved.

"No! No." She blinked as the denial came out, sounding like a lie, and that troubled her. She had gotten used to being very truthful with herself. Not trying to be anything but what she was. Stubborn, strong, needing to be brave in public, sometimes weak in private. A good daughter. A good Slayer. A bad student and a mediocre sister. But all of it was her.

"But you're... what, exactly?" Xander pressed.

"Spike knows me. Better than any of you. But in a different way. No- you are still my best friends." She shut down Willow's protest. "But we have something. We have what we have." Now she turned to Giles, who had his mouth open and index finger raised in pre-question mode. "I'm not going to waste time trying to label it for you, when I have to train, and I have to stop Glory before she takes my-" The words ground to a halt. "My... key."

"Yes. Yes, that is more pressing." Giles fully agreed, knowing, he along with Buffy, Joyce- and he suspected, Spike, that Dawn was the element Glory sought.

"Are we okay?" Buffy turned to Willow.

"Spike's so... Spike." She wrinkled her nose.

"He is what he is. And I am what I am. He knows me. He knew me- not just my face, but my soul. When Faith had my body, he came to rescue me. Not for a nice reason. But because he realized he needed to do it, and he realized that the Buffy he saw, just for ten minutes, wasn't me. How long did it take you to realize? How many minutes?"

They all looked guiltily away. "No one knew. Except Tara." Willow pointed out.

"She'd never _met_ me before, Will. She read my aura. If she hadn't felt comfortable enough to tell you-and then confirmed it with Spike, I'd be dead."

Her words hung in the air. Willow looked stricken, and the rest grave and silent. "It wasn't even that. S-Spike came to us first. He asked if you had a split personality disorder, and we talked for a minute. That's when Tara told me." Willow gasped out, a tear leaking down her face. "You would have died, and we wouldn't even have known! Oh, God. Buffy!"

"Oh, God. Oh, Jesus, Buffy." Xander embraced her, Willow joining in, and Anya and Giles standing back, looking on in horrified realization.

"Look, I know he's not a 'good guy', but he's not gonna hurt us, and he will help us. He doesn't even hang out with us all that much. He and I have this thing. You either have to accept that he's around and working with me- or don't get involved. Because if you work against me, or you're against him, we're just all going to get hurt." She nestled in her friends' arms, feeling guilt wash away, knowing they at last realized how badly they had screwed up, why she had trouble letting them in sometimes.

"Is there sex?" Xander had to ask. Willow elbowed him, Giles polished his glasses furiously, and Anya looked curious.

Buffy pulled back and looked at him with a half-grin. "Do you really want me to answer that?" She asked.

"Ummm. No. Actually, please don't. If I don't know for sure, I can pretend."

"Whatever helps." She patted his back.

"The main thing is, we love you, Buffy. You- you do what you need to do. And we'll try to do better, too." Willow gave her one more tight hug.

"Agreed." Giles stroked her hair once and Anya moved into the hugging action, feeling left out.

Buffy heaved a deep sigh. "I love you guys." _They really don't need to know, anyway. It's not like it's a serious part of our relationship._ _We're not _always _spending the night together, or anything..._

That lasted about four days.

* * *

><p>Sometimes it was almost like making love. He could move into her so hard, but still not hurt her. He would put his forehead to hers, and look into her eyes, whisper her name. And it was better than anything, because it felt so good, and she- oddly enough, trusted him completely when they were exploring the sexual side of the relationship.<p>

Sometimes it was almost like making love, not just shagging. At first it worried him, how he'd almost blurted it out, absent minded-like, when he came once. That he loved her. He had the feeling she'd forgive him, but he'd have been pissed at himself, so he made sure he kept his mouth busy.

But it was hard to think in terms of self-control at all, when she begged for you to let go. Yes. Her. Tight-ass prom queen with no sense of fun- begged him to let himself go and just enjoy. Quietly, of course. But she never minded the demon now. Once, in the last week, she'd even suggested he let that part of himself out. Like she was thinking he was holding back and she didn't want him to deny himself. _Likes she cares for me, for my happiness._

He taught her so many new things, but he never made her feel stupid. She let him go places no one else touched, do things no one else had done, and she got to explore him, too. He always moaned and encouraged, called her beautiful, and brilliant, all said with such perfect bluntness that she never doubted it was true.

He made her feel like she was teaching him, that he was learning as much from her as she was from him. He'd lay next to her, or on top of her, sometimes on his knees, her legs resting around his face, and ask her to explain exactly what she wanted, guiding his mouth, or his hands, or his cock.

Sometimes it was like she'd sent the ice princess he'd met a few years ago away, given her the shove along with her stupid Soldier Boy. He remembered watching her straddle him, grinding and bucking (on the floor because they'd just broken a spring on the bed, dammit) and all he could do was look up at her like he was seeing her for the first time ever. _That's my girl. My girl. So beautiful, and so perfect, and a damn minx half the time._ He smirked as she bounced back and drew her knees to her chest waiting for him to get back inside her in a new position. _She might be a pain in the ass_- "Ooh! Hey! Oh. Ohhhh. Mmmm, God, Spike," she giggled- _but as long as I get to be one in hers, guess I can deal._

* * *

><p>"I think your sis knows. Your mum's in denial." Spike told her as they climbed back into the bed one night.<p>

"Let's keep her there, okay?"

"I can stop coming up." He prodded her over, curling around her.

"Do, and the deal is off. You will be Mr. Sidewalk Salt before you can even finish getting out the door." She pouted and then laughed softly.

"You drive a very hard bargain." He sighed.

"You drive something else very hard." She stroked him.

"What in the world's gotten in to you?" He looked at her in amazement.

"I'm just...happy. We never did stuff before when I was happy. It's good, I like it." She shrugged and pouted again, a touch of her little girl voice coming out.

"You're happy? With me?" He wanted to get this right.

"Yeah. With- this part." She looked hopeful. "You?"

"Very happy. With this part."

_C'mon...say with other parts, too. Say it. Say it!_

_Dammit, girl tell me. I'm not tellin' you first, did that once, and it went sod all badly._

But no one spoke. Soon they let sleep over take them. "You make me happy." She whispered in a tiny, afraid to be heard voice, just before she drifted off.

"You make me happy, too. Luv." He whispered back. "Buffy- I-"

"Uh-huh?" She sounded breathless.

"I'm glad that we have what we have." He held her tighter for a minute. She sighed and kissed a spot on his shoulder.

"Me, too."

* * *

><p>Must've been two good months now. Lots had happened. Including a near destruction of the truce when he and Dawn broke into the shop to look at one of the Watcher's scribbles. Dawn was "The Key", accordin' to said scribble. An' she flipped. The whole lot of them knew by then, except for her. Bloody stupid, he'd said. Tell the girl, he'd said, so she finds out from us, not some beasty or madman. He hadn't know what she was gonna find in the book, or he would've stopped her, didn't want her to hear it like that.<p>

But to Buffy, it was his way of getting Dawn the information he wanted her to have. Doing it his way, in spite of her objections. Everything was in an uproar. Should've known better than to get his heart involved. 'Cause now, it actually _hurt_ when they were apart. Kinda like Dru, but he refused to admit it might be worse. But it _was_ worse in a way. He wasn't just missin' her, he was missin' his Little Bit, and Joyce. The rest he could take or leave.

* * *

><p>He was right. He was always right. That was so like him. He did that to piss her off. She<em> knew <em>he did that to piss her off, the fact that she was actually wrong had nothing to do with it, he simply _had_ to be right in order to make her crazy. "Oh." She flopped down a headstone with her face in her hands. Why was she on her way over here to tell him he was right? They had this thing. Just a _thing,_ she could take it or leave it, right?

"Wrong." She pushed herself back up and walked to his crypt. _He must feel so lonely, being back here. Without us._ She knew he came here a few times a week, during the daytime, but rarely at night anymore. It was patrol, sneak in, or patrol, finish early, chat with her mom, and maybe Dawn, and then lay on the couch, then sneak up to her. The no sneaking up part was driving her over the edge. Once you got used to multiple, as in double digit, orgasms most nights of the week, you were spoiled for life. And all other guys, she realized glumly.

"Can I come in?" Spike leaped from his chair and bolted to the door- remembering to stop and saunter casually at the last second.

"Hello, Luv." He said calmly, sharp features immobile in the moonlight.

_Oh wow. He's all gorgeous-y like this..._

Shit. He'd forgotten how she was just the perfect size for him. Perfect height to kiss, and perfect width to hold her close, press those curves into him.

"I um. I um, came to say-" she squeezed her eyes shut and spoke as rapidly as she possibly could, "that you were right. I should have told Dawn myself, and I'm sorry I was all bitchy." Then she kicked his shin.

"Ow! Ow, hey!" He hopped for a second, and then looked at her. "That countermands the 'sorry I was a right bitch' part of your little speech."

"I said 'bitchy'. As in 'bitch-like'. Not a' right bitch', which would imply... something else."

He had to laugh. "I'm sorry I didn't get the book out of her hands in time, Luv. Honestly."

"I know you are. And I know you didn't realize she was going to slice open her finger to see if she bled."

"I'm glad that's all she sliced. An' the three of us got her calmed down pretty quick, didn't we? Explaining everything to her, all of it?"

"She's more aware now. She'll look out for herself better. That's something I've been trying to get her do for, like, _ever_." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, it helps if the person actually knows-" He stopped at her glare. "Right. Message was received and understood. Sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." She hesitated in front of him. "Mom's on a date." _Which means you can come home and keep me company._

"Really? With Rupert?"

"Huh? Oh, no, some guy named Brian."

"I see. You've left Bit by herself?" Spike sprang for his coat before she could answer.

"No! She's at a movie with her friend. I have to be back by 9:00 to make sure she gets home okay."

"It's close to that now, Luv." Spike could tell without even consulting a timepiece, one of his vampiric perks.

"It took me awhile to come in here." She admitted ruefully.

"I like that about you, Buffy. You've got pride. An' you never knuckle under." He put his coat on. "Your mum mad at me?"

"Not at all." She smiled. Her mother and sister had been instantly forgiving, even defensive, of Spike. But she liked that he didn't make her _ask_ him to come back. He just knew. He wouldn't have even made her say sorry. He just deserved the apology and so she did it in her own time. He'd probably known that, too.

* * *

><p>Upstairs that night, alone, in their little haven, they could finally talk. "Missed you." He confessed.<p>

"I missed you." She admitted.

"Don't like this- this bein' away from you." He snarled, still hating that he'd gotten so bloody soft for her.

"I don't either. It's not natural. When you- when you feel this-close."

"My flip side." He touched her cheek softly.

"Reflection."

They curled up on the floor when they were done their marathon, both of them too weak to get back into bed. "We stopped usin' the bed for the hard stuff- but what about this floor?" Spike panted, collapsing on his back.

"You can't break the floor." She laughed. Then paused. "Can you?"

"Dunno, Luv." His eyes glimmered with malicious delight. "Never fucked you hard enough."

"You have more? You better not be holding back!" She poked him in the ribs-weakly admittedly, but she was still getting her muscles out of their jellified state.

"I don't think we oughta attempt it. You mum's a nice lady, but it still bloody scares me to think what she might do if she finds me ruttin' on top of you in the middle of the downstairs, with a ruddy great hole in the ceilin'."

"Do you think we should tell her? I mean- it's been two months-ish. She probably knows. But she won't say anything. She's so happy I come home every night, she's so happy to be alive, with us. She's even happy that Dawn knows what's going on since it might mean we're going to be able to protect her a little better."

"An' we thank who for that?" He asked with a cocky leer.

"God, what do I have to do to shut you up?" She hit him with her bunched up shirt, picking it up from where it lay on the floor.

"Keep m' mouth busy." He grabbed her arm and brought her to his lips again.

* * *

><p>"Mornin', Joyce." Spike passed her a mug as she entered the kitchen.<p>

"You're back!" She hugged him hard.

Spike couldn't speak. No one ever hugged him like that. Not ever, not since- well he must've been home coming from his last term at university, and his mother hadn't seen him for eight weeks or so. "Yeah. I'm back." He smiled softly. "I'm sorry about the little one. I never meant for her to go round the twist like that."

"It's better she knows, really."

"Spike!" Dawn bounced into the kitchen, long hair flying behind her. "You came back! Did Buffy say sorry? Because she was a total B with an itch."

"Dawn Summers!" Joyce slammed her mug down and put her hands on her hips.

"Yes, she did." Spike circled behind Dawn. "An' yes, she was." Spike said the last just for Dawn's ears, and gave her a wink.

"Where's my poetry essay? Where's my poetry essay?" Buffy came tearing down the stairs.

"In your bag?" Spike suggested.

"No! I looked." Buffy frantically looked through papers on the dining room table. "Argh! I have to re-type this. I have to have Willow proofread this! I have to go!" Buffy kissed her mother on the cheek, Dawn on the forehead, and paused abruptly at Spike.

"Give us a kiss then." He teased with a saucy wink.

"Ew. Yeah right." She stuck her tongue out at him, but gave him a wink as she left. He smiled into his hand and winked back.

"Oh, that girl" Joyce sighed. "She has dating issues."

Spike avoided_ that_ topic like the plague. "Hear you're in the datin' game yourself."

"Spill, Mom." Dawn pulled up a counter stool.

Joyce talked for a bit, and then Dawn got on the bus. Joyce left to change for work, and Spike lingered over his blood. _Thank God this row was over. Missed bein' here._ Not that he'd ever, in a million years, admit that. _But it was nice to have people about. 'Specially if one of them could go like a rabbit on speed for three or four hours a night, take a nap, wake up, an' go again. Damn. Bulge in the front. Not good. Not in front of the mother of the girl in question._

The doorbell rang, and Joyce tripped lightly down the stairs in her beige skirt and heels, white button down blouse still untucked. "Oh, Spike- could you get that?" She fastened an earring on.

"Not without severe fire-damage." He remarked dryly.

"Oh, of course! Who could that be-" Joyce opened the door. "Oh! Oh, my goodness, how beautiful!"

Spike peered around the corner, keeping out of the light, and watched Joyce receive a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. "These must be from- Brian, they are!"

"Got some money put by, I see." Spike watched her bring the vase in. "These things cost a fortune. Easier to just swipe 'em from a florist."

"Oh, who cares, they're beautiful." Joyce sniffed in and set the flowers down. "Oh, come on. Vampire or not, you have to like flowers." She quipped gently. Spike gave in and grinned, a private grin he kept for her, William's smile in a much harder face.

He stood beside her and inhaled, enjoying a happy memory, concentrating. _"William, pick something pretty for the sitting room. It looks so drab just now." A little boy, running with hands full of flowers from the border gardens to his mother's outstretched arms. Hollyhocks. He could still smell - _His eyes flew open.

"Don't move." He ordered Joyce.

"Why, what's-"

"Don't move, don't talk!" He whispered in a fierce voice, stepping closer to her.

"Spike..." Joyce gave him a wary look. He'd never hurt her. Chipped or not. She knew, somehow, that under the vicious face was a kind soul. Buffy said he didn't have a soul. A kind spirit, then. A broken hearted man. But he was still standing uncomfortably close to her, right next to her, lips nearly grazing her hair. "Spike!"

"Shut up!" He barked. He didn't mean to. But it was so faint. So-subtle. He inhaled again, and pushed her down on the stool. "Sit still. Do you feel okay?"

"I'm fine, what's wrong?" She tried to smile, but it wavered.

He closed his eyes again and just listened. Pulse going, a bit quicker than usual, but he was prob'ly spookin' her a bit. Still, he needed her silent and still. Just a faint- ticking in her blood. Right near her surgery scar, blood moving too fast, and then closer to the surface. Like a vessel thinning, or a wall weakening. He yanked the phone from the counter and called 911.

"What are you doing!" Joyce leapt up.

"Sit! Please, sit, Joyce, just- just trust me." _We do not ask to be trusted!_ His demon shouted. _Fuck off, you get fed plenty, an' this isn't about supper or fightin' so you shut your yap. _"1630 Revello Drive. I got- I got- uh- post-surgery complications, an' you lot need to send someone right sharpish."

Joyce's eyes widened and she pressed her fingers to her temple. "But-"

"No, I don't know, no she isn't presenting symptoms, no- I - oh bugger this!" He slammed the phone down. Spike grabbed Joyce by the arm. "Listen, an' don't panic, do you understand?"

"What- what do you know?" She whispered, paling.

"Nothin' for sure. But I hear somethin' a little off. Please don't argue. Please don't argue, jus' get in the car, and we'll drive." He pulled her along, getting his duster, getting his blanket and the blanket off the couch.

"Okay. Okay, we'll go." She soothed. "Let me get my keys."

"The De Soto's parked just-" only it wasn't.'Cause of the soddin' argument, he'd driven it an' parked it back "home", instead of the corner where it had been for the last month. It was back in the swampy corner alley between Restfield and the forest. "Right. You'll have to drive."

"I feel fine." She laughed nervously.

"Good. Good, I jus'- I just wanna check, okay?" He was panicking. This couldn't happen. Not to her. Not again. He wrapped up against the sun, and poised, ready to dive into the backseat as soon as she unlocked the door.

"We're going." She got in the front, and he shot into the back of the Jeep.

"Drive fast." He said grimly, still listening for that weakening rushing sound. Hard to make out, but still there. She drove, and he sat up behind her, ear pressed almost to the back of her headrest. Maybe he was imagining things.

"I'll park in the ER spaces, but I don't know what they'll say when I walk in without anything but vampire intuition." Joyce parked, color draining from her face.

"You'll get seen to. I promise you that." Spike sprang out and under the canopied ambulance bay, half dragging, half pulling her behind him.

"Spike, stop, really-"

"Oi!" Spike ignored her, and winced as he passed a window quickly. "This is Joyce Summers, she had brain-"

"Spike, I can talk for myself." She reminded him in a gentle, but firm voice, tugging her arm free. "I had an operation about two months ago. Brain tumor, my surgeon was Dr. Kreigel. I- um- wasn't feeling too well. A-uh- pain near my incision." She looked at Spike from the corner of her eye and caught his nod.

"That's nothing to fool around with. Dr. Kreigel's in today, let me see if I can get him down here. In the mean time, sit in the waiting room."

"But this is urgent." Spike hissed.

"All of it's urgent, Sir, that's why we call it an emergency room." The nurse said in a bored tone.

"Spike, I'll be fine, really." Joyce sat and motioned for him to sit beside her.

"How can I get hold of the girls?" He demanded. "I can call Dawn's school, right, but college is different, isn't it? I could call the Watcher. I'll call the Watcher." Spike stood, and then sat back down immediately. "You look peaky. I don't like the look of you at all." He couldn't hear a damn thing in here, all the blood, thousands of different people, lots of them with irregular patterns, too, some trapped in clots, some rushing out in wounds, some fighting sluggishly in the aftermath of a heart attack or stroke. "Are you sure you don't feel anything out of place?"

"Actually. I- I just feel a little dizzy."

"Dizzy." Dizzy was bad.

"Dr. Kreigel's on his way down, Ms. Summers. Would you like to step-"

"Oh!" Joyce put a hand to her head suddenly, and Spike dropped to his knees in front of her as she sagged.

"Joyce! Joyce!" He demanded, shaking her.

"We need a gurney here, now!" The nurse was off, and a burly man in scrubs and a white coat pushed through the swinging doors. In the back of his mind, Spike dimly recognized him, seen him somewhere in connection with Joyce.

"Joyce!" Spike shook her head back up to meet his eyes.

"My girls..." Her eyes were rolling up.

"Mum! Mum, listen to me, stay with us!" Spike shouted desperately.

Joyce's eyes fluttered closed.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>


	6. Chapter 6

Should Have Known Better

By Sweetprincipale

_A sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. Set during S. 5, beginning at the end of the episode "Listening to Fear" and goes off cannon._

_Author's Notes: Deep, but will be smutty and Spuffy. Had several people tell me they thought See You on the Flip Side needed a sequel, and goodness knows I liked the idea! Hope you all enjoy, read and review!_

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. This chapter feature _I Should Have Known Better _by the Beatles._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Idiosyncratic Delusions, Andrea Fangface, Msnycegirl0820, and jmoran 319_

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part V

"You realize you can't do anything for a cerebral aneurysm once it bursts, unless you're already in surgery. In some cases, not even then." Dr. Kreigel told the petite blonde with red-rimmed eyes.

"Uh-huh." She gasped out, holding her sister's hand tightly.

"And there are usually no warning symptoms at all. It's usually a widening of the artery that causes one of the walls to weaken, eventually giving way under pressure, nothing noticeable under normal circumstances."

"Uh-huh." She answered automatically. Why was he telling her all this? It didn't matter now.

"Dr. Kreigel, they need you in post-op."

"Oh? Oh. Thank you, Ben." Dr. Kreigel turned back to Buffy and Dawn. "Your mother is a very lucky lady that she felt some pain before it ruptured, and that the young man she told took it seriously, and acted quickly."

"Can we see her, yet?" Dawn gulped.

"I'll take you to her." Ben spoke up quickly. "She should be moved in to a regular room by now."

_Earlier that day..._

It had taken two hours to track down Buffy. Dawn was easier. Quick call to the Watcher, then to the school, and they brought her over to sit, wait with him outside that damn operating theater. One by one they all filed in, each one asking in panicked voices ,"What happened?" And he had to tell them. Over and over. And over. That he was probably just a second too late.

Were their eyes accusing him? Did they think he did something to her? He didn't care. Dawn wasn't accusing him. She was curled up with her head in his lap, and he was reflexively tangling his hands in her hair, watching the clock. Stupid, bloody, mocking clocks. An' why the hell couldn't you smoke in a hospital? Everyone there was sick already, not like an extra lungful of the bad would hurt 'em.

Tara finally tracked down Willow, and Willow and she were together. She knew something was wrong, the way Will's lip immediately folded up in a wobble. Then her nervous, tear-clogged voice, "Buffy?..."

The rest was a blur. She remembered hugging everyone, even Spike. Especially Spike, who locked his arms around her, as she locked hers around him, taking comfort in the fact that she finally had someone strong enough to hug with all her might, who could hold her just as tightly. They stood like statues, maybe for a minute, maybe for five, not speaking, just fused. "I'm sorry." He whispered once.

"You got her here. Don't be sorry." She whispered back.

"Bloody hell. I'm goin' in there." Spike finally said at one point.

"You can't." Dawn said flatly, not moving her head out off his knee.

"I'm a- fu- an effin' vamp, I don't play by these rules-" Spike made to dislodge her head, and Buffy tightened her grip on his hand. He sat back with another curse. They weren't holdin' out much hope for Joyce. They got her there before it burst, so at least she was on site, they might've had a few minutes to repair the arterial wall before... But humans moved so slow! He was fast. He should have moved faster. He should have had the De Soto there so he could have driven. He should never have let Dawn break into the Watcher's store, never let her read the journal, then he and Buffy wouldn't have had a fight, he wouldn't have taken the car. He should have known better to ever even look at the girl in a non-killin' way, then he wouldn't be here, be worried sick, be feelin' like this. No. It's not her. It's me. I should have moved faster. I should have...

"Ms. Summers? Your mother's in recovery." A nurse came at the peak of his self-blaming tournament, and he literally felt faint with relief. The rest of them jumped up, hugged, cheered, all but frickin' danced. He slumped back in the chair with his head on the ugly white wall behind him and let out a lungful of air that he'd been holding for literally hours.

She caved, and cried, a couple happy tears, only for him, on his chest, when she threw herself down on him to hug him. "You saved her. Spike! You saved her."

Dawn crashed onto him next, knocking their heads together, and he felt his lips curve into a faint smile. "Thank you! Thank you, thank you thank you!"

"You're welcome." He murmured. I did it. I did save her. _I'm sorry it wasn't you, Mum. You know I tried- you know that I tried, that was all I wanted, was to heal you? But finally, _finally_ used this power to help someone. Saved someone. Mum. Buffy's mum, but still..._ He swallowed, a century late was better than nothing.

No one said anything when they let Spike go in first, with the family. Not even Xander, who the rest looked at expectantly. "What? He saved Joyce's life! Today- and maybe for a couple weeks-or until he does something that really annoys me- I will wear my 'I like Spike' pin."

"If he was going to hurt her, he'd just have had to wait for the aneurysm to burst, and once she was gone, he could have fed." Anya smiled widely at her boss and her boyfriend. "That means he has good intentions. The not feeding on her part."

"Socially appropriate much?" Willow muttered angrily. Tara rubbed her arm soothingly. "Sorry. No, you're right. Spike did a good thing. Oh! We should bake him some cookies."

"What kind of cookies do vampires like?" Tara asked with her typical thoughtfulness.

Inside Joyce's room, Spike no longer stood hesitantly at the foot of the bed, watching her daughters hug her and murmur to her unconscious form, as he had done after her first surgery. He was sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs hospitals came equipped with, and holding the hand that didn't have an IV plugged into it. And the room was silent.

"Well?" Buffy asked after a few minutes.

"Sounds right again." He finally beamed up at her. "But I'll be listenin' to her every day for a long time now, you realize that, right?"

"And I will personally make her 'Being listened to' appointments." Buffy swore. "They said- she'll have to be on blood thinners for a long time. Maybe for life."

"But a pill a day is better than-" Dawn didn't finish the sentence. "Will she be asleep again? All night?"

"No, they said she'll come around later tonight. We'll come back and visit her. Or we can stay. Giles can go pick up your assignments from school." Buffy kissed her mother's forehead gently as she spoke to her sister.

"I'll leave you to it." Spike smiled.

"You don't have to go." Buffy said quickly.

"I'll be back tonight." He smiled. "I need a smoke, Luv, I'm 'bout knackered. I didn't know I could worry this much bein' dead. Think maybe there's somethin' wrong with me."

"There totally is." Buffy agreed, grinning broadly. "And I'm so glad."

Spike left, passing through the waiting room. "She's doin' well. Good an' steady pulse, blood not makin' that peculiar noise anymore." He informed the small throng. "If I could sneak in- you lot prolly could, one at a time."

"We'll wait." Giles informed him. "Aren't you- uh- aren't you waiting for Buffy?"

"I need a smoke, mate." Spike shook his head.

"I could use one myself." Giles pressed a hand to his heart.

"Mr. Giles, you smoke?" Tara asked.

"No! Except- when I have a great deal of stress. A few times a year." Giles stammered.

"C'mon, Librarian, I'll give you a cig." Spike nodded his head towards the exit.

"Oh. Well, I don't really-" Spike looked at him pointedly. "Just one."

"That's all you'll be gettin' from me! I've done my good deed for- for the decade prob'ly." Spike shifted uncomfortably. Been actin' very good, haven't you? Very nice, very housebroken, a tame vampire, he mocked himself. All so you can get in the Slayer's knickers. So you can feel her moving up and down on you, with her lips, an' that perfect pink puss, an- wait, what was the flaw in the plan?

"Are you coming?" Giles asked.

"Oh. Yeah."

The two Brits stood out on the loading dock, under the metal overhang, puffing slowly in silence. Giles broke it. "Blood delivery, this place. Many, many nights Buffy and I spent here."

"Yeah. Me, too. Bloody annoyed when they finally got wise and moved the drop to the day time. You did that, didn't you?"

"I may have suggested it. Repeatedly. With threats of physical violence."

Spike had to laugh. "You know, Watcher, you must be kickin' yourself."

"Why's that?"

"You almost lost her. Again."

"What? Joyce and I-" Giles flushed and looked away. "Yes. Yes, I'm kicking myself."

"Got your leg over, didn't you?"

"Spike!"

"I'm just sayin', there's a new bloke in the picture, this Brian chap, an' if you don't want Joyce under starter's orders with some other man..." He trailed off significantly.

"We no longer have that kind of relationship." Giles replied stiffly.

"Yeah, well. Relationships go all wonky around this place." Spike gazed into the distance.

"Speaking of which- you and Buffy?"

"What about it?" He felt a touch of a snarl beginning to surface. Damn. Keep it casual. Sure, it's more than that, it's damn serious, sure you two have something- but it's easier this way.

"You two seem to be fairly...close?"

"Close is good." He shrugged.

"She-erm, she doesn't want you to increase this 'closeness'? Or decrease it?"

"She hasn't told me if she does. An' I know her. Yeah, I do, so shut it. Know her as well as anyone, an' we're happy movin' along at this pace."

"Very well, I'm glad to hear it." Giles flicked his cigarette away.

"Let's toddle back in- wait." Spike put his hand on the Watcher's arm. "That's that Ben person."

"A nice boy." Giles replied automatically. He'd been around Buffy and Dawn frequently in the last few months, a casual but sympathetic acquaintance in the hospital.

"So why's he talkin' to one of Glory's goons?" Spike pointed to the car that Ben was getting into, and the passenger who had popped up beside him.

"You can see that?" Giles squinted at a car parked about six rows away, under a dense leafy shadow.

"Vamp sight. Vamp senses are comin' in all sorts of handy today." He smiled coldly. "I don't think your boy's so nice,Giles. We're gonna have to watch him."

"You can't follow him in the daylight."

"Got his tag number. Write it down, look it up. We'll have something to hunt come nightfall." His smile turned predatory as he committed the license number of the car to memory.

"Mom? Mommy?" Buffy smiled down on her mother in expectant joy as she began to flutter her lids.

"Mm... Buffy? Dawn?" Joyce blinked. "Oh, that's too bright."

"Dawn, put the lights out." Buffy ordered softly, shielding her mother's eyes from the florescent bulbs over the bed. She looked at her anxiously, flashbacks from the night they had brought her home before her first surgery attacking her. Please don't let her start going on about the lights, and talking crazy. Please let her be Mom. At least she's alive...

"Oh, that's better." Joyce sighed. "What happened? All I remember is Spike dragging me to the hospital, and feeling dizzy."

"You had an aneurysm. It can happen after surgery."

"An aneurysm? Those are-" Joyce blinked a few times. "Oh, girls. Oh, girls!" She hugged her babies to her, breathing out shakily. "I never thought I'd say this, but, thank God Spike is a vampire and that he spends so much time at the house!"

"He comes in handy sometimes." Buffy smiled, blinking rapidly to keep her tears in check.

"He totally saved you." Dawn beamed. "He's so awesome." She sighed.

"Well, I don't know if he's _awesome_, but- I owe him one." Buffy masked her feelings of intense gratitude. Because what she really wanted to do was hug him and kiss him and possibly make people bow down as they passed him, proclaiming him "Mom-Saver". But that wouldn't be good for his ego. And any other things she could do to even begin to show her gratitude would be for Spike's eyes only.

"Me, too." Joyce grinned tiredly. "I'm really sleepy, girls. Floaty feeling."

"But not hurting?" Dawn asked anxiously.

"Not hurting. I need to speak to the surgeon. And you. I want to know what happened, what I need to do." Joyce's eyelids shut and she sighed. "Can I do it in the morning?"

"Of course. Of course, we'll be here in the morning." Buffy promised. "I'm going to take Dawn home, now, okay Mom?"

"Okay, Buffy. Bye, Babies." Joyce managed to open her eyes again briefly, and squeezed both of her children's hands. "Oh, girls- tell Spike I said 'thank you'."

"I'll tell him." Buffy promised, smirking inside. _I'll thank him, too. I will thank him until he can't move..._

"You're sure you saw what you saw?" Giles asked for the seventeenth time.

"You saw it, too!" Spike was tempted to smack the two men with him, but didn't.

"Ben is working with Glory?" Xander asked, for the eighteenth time.

"No. Ben is Glory. Glory is Ben." Spike pointed back to the ornate house they were creeping away from. "You saw it! You saw her change into him before he got back in the car."

"Glory borrowed Ben's car?"

"Oh, God..." Spike groaned. "Here. This is getting us nowhere. We need the blonde wicca. Your aura reader."

"We should get Tara, yes." Giles agreed. And then looked puzzled. "Why is it we need to read Ben's aura?"

"Bloody hell." Spike yanked open the door of his retrieved ride, and waited for the other two to get inside. "Look, never mind, It must be a human thing. Glory and Ben are in the same body, somehow. We know we can't fight her to more than a weak draw- and eventually she's gonna figure out what the Key is hidden as. Humans are easier to deal with than whatever she is. I say, we get Buffy, we get Ben, and let her sort him out."

"Buffy would never hurt Ben!" Xander protested.

"Yes, Spike, why would Buffy have any interest in an innocent human?" Giles demanded.

"I give up. But Slayer'll understand me. She knows me." He smiled to himself. _Yeah, mate. She knows you._

She bumped into him just as he was coming in the front door. "Hi, Luv. Thought you'd still be at the hospital." Spike fiddled with his sleeve for a moment. "Did she come around?"

"She's fine. She told me to thank you." Buffy beamed at him as his smile broke through. "Where've you been?" She started rubbing her hand across his chest, caressingly, even teasing a nipple through the fabric.

"I found out something about that guy, Ben. We- we- what are you doing?" Spike lost his train of thought as her felt one of her fingers start nudging the tongue of his belt through the clasp.

"I was gonna go out and find you- but Dawn's here, asleep. I've been waiting for a couple hours to thank you..."

"Thank me?"

"For helping my mom." She shook her head at him. "Silly."

"You don't have to thank me for that. I told you- I like your mum. Told you that weeks ago."

"So you don't want me to take you upstairs, turn up the music, and make you extra happy?" She pouted at him.

"I didn't say that. Just don't do it 'cause you think you have to."

She put her hands on her hips and glared. "Would I do that? _Ever_?"

"Good point. So- how do I get thanked in this little scenario?" He let her lead him upstairs, temporarily forgetting all about the discoveries he had made.

She had candles lit. For them. For him. And blankets and pillows spread on the floor. That meant soft and- oh sod it, use the damn word, it's easier than running through the litany of alternatives- _gentle_, was not on the menu. At least, not for long. "I repeat- how do I get thanked?" He grinned as she shut the door and locked it, then turned up the music.

"You get thanked until you can't move." She paused and then grinned. "And once you're all helpless, I'll start all over. This could be fun."

Oh, if this was being powerless before your enemies, he should have put up the white flag the day he met her. Spike, not exactly helpless, but pretty well exhausted and not moving unless it was dire, lay sprawled back on the floor. Already spent, already depleted, she regarded him as a challenge, and was using her talented mouth to wake him back up. That's _my_ mouth, he thought with a smirk. I taught her to devour like that. None of the others ever had her go to work on them like this. She does it all, she licks, she bites, she nibbles, she bloody owns me, and I own that mouth! 'Cause I taught her to let go. Every Slayer has a touch of the wild in her. Most of 'em just don't have someone to let it out with. Maybe that's why 99.9% of them were uptight, overdriven, bitches.

"Hey, you. Eyes open. Mouth open." She licked a trail from his cock to his lips.

"What am I lookin' at?" He smiled lazily. "And eatin', for that matter."

"Peaches and cream." She winked, and turned her cute little rear around and lowered her nether lips to his, turning them into a mutual oral embrace.

"Remind me to save people more often." He sighed, and happily ate his dessert.

Joyce pushed herself up in bed when her children entered. She meant, of course, her children and Spike. Spike was old enough to be her great grandfather. He was too old to be her son, even going by his appearance age. He must have been in his mid- twenties when it happened. "Spike!" She called his name happily.

"Joyce! Good Lord, Luv, you didn't half scare me." He hugged her when she held out her arms to him.

"You are coming to the gallery, and you are picking out anything you want." She told him firmly. "My way of thanking you."

"I just want the owner of the gallery out of this soddin' hospital, and no more holes in your skull." Spike named his desired reward.

"That's so sweet. That's so sweet, you are a sweet man." Joyce hugged him once more and then released him. "Isn't he?"

"Super sweet." Dawn smiled at him happily.

"He's okay." Buffy shrugged. She blushed, hearing, seeing parts of last night in her head. _Her bending her forehead to his, lips all over his face, mainly his mouth. Little desperate moans and gasps. "I- I- oh, Spike, Baby..." Her eyes trying to tell him. His hands on her cheeks, pulling her down harder and holding her there, connected as deeply as they could get, "Shhh, Shh, Cutie. I know. I know you." His eyes trying to answer_ hers.

"Your eldest, Joyce. Damn hard to please." He grinned and they shared a look of mutual indifference. Which was code for, "I can't stop bloody thinking about you". And as for being hard to please- not with him. Someday he was going to make her keep a tally of just how many times he managed to "please her" in one night.

"Dawn, could you go get us some sodas from the machine?" Joyce changed the subject abruptly.

"Sure, Mom." Dawn agreed. Buffy shot Spike a look.

"I'll come with you, Niblet." Damn. Another nickname. That made three now.

"Okay!" She liked that idea. Any Spike time was good time.

"Coke for the ladies?" Spike asked the two blondes on the hospital bed.

"And some ice." Joyce requested.

"Right. Ice." Spike shrugged and followed the little one out. He had (when in his right mind and having had some sleep to recover from their bruising bout of "gratitude") told Buffy about Ben/Glory, and now the hospital was a red zone. They had to get Joyce out of there, or get Ben out of commission. One thing was for sure, Dawn could _not _walk around by herself. He was just happy Buffy believed him without the constant repetition. Maybe humans had to see the mojo happening to get addled by it. They told Dawn, as well, to put her on her guard. She seemed to take it in stride- squeakily and frantically, but in stride. They didn't tell Joyce yet, obviously. No time, and no good, not when she was still weak from surgery.

"Buffy." Joyce pulled her daughter's head to face her. "Listen to me."

"Uh-oh. You have 'Mom face'. Big serious." Buffy's smile fell.

"I remember the last thing I heard, before I passed out yesterday." Joyce said seriously.

"What?" Buffy took her hands.

"Spike. Spike calling me 'mum'. And saying, 'Mum, listen to me, stay with us!' I think, it was 'stay with us', it might have been something else, but it ended with 'us'." She locked eyes with her daughter. "Why do you think he called me that?"

"I'm sure he meant 'Buffy's mum', but in the panic..." She trailed off. _He said it because he thought he was going to lose you. That he was going to fail, and not save another mother. Like he was reliving losing his mom. He'd do anything to save you. So would I, and that's why I understand what he said._

"That's not what I think." Joyce lowered her voice, making sure Dawn and Spike weren't coming in yet. "I think- that he has very strong, _complicated_ feelings for our family. I think he's a lonely man, Buffy. Almost like a widower."

"Mom-"

"He was with that girl for so long, and now he has no one. But us. I think you could _try_ to be a little nicer to him. He did save my life." Joyce crossed her arms.

Be a little nicer? It was a good thing she didn't know how "nice" she had been to him last night. Her thighs were covered in equal parts by hickeys and sexually induced bite marks. And a good thing for the bite marks, because she was running him dry as fast as he could fill up.

"Buffy Anne! You're going to be nicer to him. Do you understand?" Joyce said in her best "You're about to get grounded, young lady." voice.

"Yes, Mommy." Buffy quickly agreed.

Spike and Dawn came back with a bucket of ice and a half dozen sodas. They found the entire Scooby support team waiting for them. "Look! We brought cookies for the hero." Tara held out a plate to Spike. He blinked.

"I'd hug you- but I kinda have trust issues, after you threatened to put a bottle through my face." Willow looked at him and away.

"What in hell...?"

"We're expressing our gratitude. It's a human thing." Anya said brightly. "Are you a good guy now?"

"No!" No, I'm not a soddin' 'good guy'!" Spike said defensively. "I just- I'm just not goin' to hurt any of you lot. Ever. And don't ask me why. Don't ask me anything! I need a smoke." Spike thrust the cookies back into Tara's hands and stormed out.

I'm not a good guy. I'm not soft. I'm chipped that's why I don't hurt people. I'm with Buffy, because- I mean c'mon, fucking the _Slayer_ is too good to pass up. And because she's- well, she's wonderful, and I care about her, and I can't stop wanting her or missing her and I think I'm goin' to self-destruct sometimes. But I can't be a _good guy_. I can't be. I can't go soft again.

"Your vampire's having a self-unrighteous, eviler-than-thou meltdown outside." Xander greeted Buffy and Joyce, entering with Dawn.

"See? Now go!" Joyce ordered Buffy from the room, then smiled at Xander. "Thank you for the balloon!" She pointed to what he was holding, and he sat down beside her.

Buffy went looking for Spike. "You flipped?" She said when she finally found him on the loading dock.

"Nah. Just didn't like some of the questions Demon Girl asked."

"Oh, Anya. She has major self-censoring issues." Buffy grinned and he grinned back. "My mom just read me the riot act. She told me to be nicer to you."

"Did you tell her if you're any nicer to me we're gonna be numb from the waist down for about a week?" They laughed.

"You know how I feel right?" Buffy asked him softly. Then looked at him with rapidly widening eyes. "About nice!"

"I know, I know." He replied, eyes widening with equal speed. "The looks we give, the words we throw- just a cover. We're nice enough to one another." He licked his lips and added, "Aren't we?"

"I'm good if you're good."

"I am NOT _good!_ Bloody buggerin' hell, why does everyone assume that you save a couple lives, prevent a couple apocalypses, and you're suddenly 'good'?" He threw up his hands.

"I meant 'good' as in satisfied." She tried to cover her chuckle and failed miserably.

"Oh. In that case, yeah, I'm okay with the nice we have. Oi, stop snickerin' at me." He prodded her arm gently.

"You so totally flipped in there. I know you did."

"Bugger off." He prodded her again.

"You like doing to that to me, you know you do."

"You are a randy little sex kitten lately!" He frowned, but couldn't keep it in place. It reversed into a wide grin. "I love that about you."

Her heart skipped a beat. Oh. He _loves _something about me. That's- new and exciting. "Well, you bring it out of me."

You said it! You damn near said somethin' worse! William the Bloody Awful Fool, that'll be your new nickname, give you a week. "Let's go visit your mum. An' then, I had a thought about that glowy ball thing you've got. The Dagon sphere whatsis?"

"We don't know how to use it."

"It repels that which cannot be named, yeah?"

"That's what they tell me." Buffy stood closer to him, both of them with arms crossed, looking to the outside observer like strangers making casual conversation. No one would ever guess how badly they were burning inside, just to take one more step nearer.

"We gotta name for the boy half of the act. Ben. But Glory is 'that which can't be named'."

"We don't do too good with fighting her, though."

"But human boy is just human, 'til she breaks out of him. What if we can get the sphere near him, an' see if we can use it on her when she's in her human shell?"

"But he's human. What if it has no impact on him at all?"

"Then we're no worse than we started."

She sighed. "Right. You take the boy. I'll get the ball."

"Uh... Buffy?" He quirked a brow at her.

"Right, Chipped Puppy. _I'll _take the boy,_ you_ get the ball."

"I swear you do that to taunt me." He frowned viciously.

"I know I do." She grinned.

"I'm tellin' your mum." He smirked.

"Hey!"

"You're the one who did it, Slayer."

"But I'm _trying_ to be nice to you. Sometimes." She shifted uncomfortably. You- you make a big difference around here. Things are better. You have good ideas- sometimes. Because of you, we know who Glory's hiding out in. We might've let Ben go wandering off with Dawn in the hospital or something. I totally didn't suspect him. Stupid, but there you go." _Why is he looking at me like that?_

I make things better? I make a difference? Her mates are bakin' me cookies, an' her Watcher's sharin' smokes with me. They think I've gone good. I'm protectin' the little sis, I'm savin' the mother, I'm doin' the daughter. I'm sleeping in her bed! How did I skip the step where the Big Bad Wolf eats the grandma and gets to polish off the little one for dessert?

Oh, hell no. I have. I completely have. Fallen for her. I'm not good, but I'm sure as hell leanin' that way. For her. For... that word. That emotion that was for Dru, and never anyone else, certainly not perky blonde pains, truce or no truce, sex or no sex. "Could we maybe have this discussion later, Slayer?" He growled harshly.

"Spike-" She looked hurt. She was complimenting him. Giving him credit. He ought to love that, he had an ego the size of Lake Michigan.

"I'll see you around." He jumped off the dock, staying the shadows, hiding from the noonday sun.

"Spike!" What the hell? "But-" We have a thing. We go off when we want, but we know we're coming back at some point. We're close. I... trust him. I care what he does, and what happens and- I - oh good God. But I can't think that about him! That was once, a one time- stupid, fall and break your heart and never, ever think you feel that way again -feeling. Slayers don't do love. If we did, we don't choose vampires. Even if they may just have handed us a way to stop the big bad, and saved our mom, and even if he teaches me, and helps me, and knows me. Knows me so well.

They turned and looked at each other. She was up on the loading dock, he was under it.

Bloody balcony scene. It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Screw Juliet, this one was the real light. And heat. Warmth, fire, passion, strength.

If I don't love someone like him, who really knows me, and never hurts me... I guess I'm never gonna love anyone. And if he's my reflection, he feels the same way. But he never tells me. He never lets me know, so I don't have to say it back. God, I love that about him. Shit. That word again. "I'll see you around?" She repeated his words hesitantly.

"On the flip side." He smiled softly.

"You know I know you." She called after him as he turned away.

His shoulders fell with a sigh. "Yeah. I do. An' you know I know you." He looked back over his shoulder. She nodded. He turned and walked into the dark recesses between the hospital and neighboring building.

"Xander, Anya, can Dawn sleep over with you guys again?"

"Celebratory boinking? Like last time, only with Spike, not Riley?" Anya nodded cheerfully. The other occupants of the waiting room, Dawn and Tara (Willow and Giles being in with her mother), gasped.

"Oh, Oh, no, I'm sure that is isn't it." Xander hastily covered for Dawn's sake- and his own. "Spike and Buffy just need some alone time. To be- tender." He repeated his words to Dawn from the last time she had slept over.

"Spike? Buffy? Tender?" Dawn crossed her arms. "I didn't buy that with Riley, I _so _do not buy that with them."

"Could everyone else _please_ get a life, and stop borrowing mine?" Buffy pleaded. "I just need to talk about something with him. And I'm tired of getting interrupted. _Even though one of us is always doing the interrupting... _I have to talk with Giles about a few things. Things that might help us deal with 'you know who', but then, I just need a night off."

She didn't light candles. She didn't make a fancy meal. This was not romantic. This was a clear defining of their non-love and their mutually beneficial, caring relationship with a side of "watch your back" and "shagging". Then they could stop freaking out at each other and almost saying things that they should never say. One broken heart each. Enough for a lifetime, or a deathtime. No more falling in love, because, didn't they have a truce? She'd promised he wasn't in danger from her.

Spike came through the door, full of blood and a partial bottle of Jack under his arm. They would not do the whole "sit down an' talk" thing. Even he an' Dru never did that. People who know one another don't need that shit, right? An' he knew Buffy better than he'd ever known Dru.

No, he would lay it right out. I'm sorry I've been wafflin' a bit. I do care about you, and your lot, no one's coming to harm. But I do not love you, I never will, and that's that. She'd feel the same way. Then their nicely undefined relationship could press on, without the ghost of falling in love hanging over it. Falling in love only hurts people like her an' I. And didn't I promise not to hurt her?

All her thoughts wavered when he came home, smelling deliciously of colder, wetter night air, whiskey, and leather. Spike scent. Her tinglies went on full alert, and not just her Slayer senses. Her girl tinglies, the ones lower down.

"We alone?" He looked around in surprise. "Where's the little one?"

"With Anya and Xander." She came closer to him. "More 'thank you' time later?"

Yes, yes, yes, of course yes! Yet he heard himself saying aloud, "I didn't save your mum to get another dose of slayer sex, all right?"

She gasped, and almost smacked him. "I realize that, you _idiot_."

Well, honestly. She would never have sex with you out of misplaced obligation, didn't we already sing this song, last night, in fact ? "I know. Just had to tell you." She nodded, and they allowed grim smiles to surface. "But if you're offering..."

"If _you _were offering with me?"

"Depends on where this is goin'. Think we can drop this charade of a one time deal about now. I mean, I realize we did that long about the time I started bein' a member of the soddin' household, all but have my name on the mailbox. But this isn't... casual anymore."

"Yeah. We've gone beyond that." She nodded. "But Spike, we're not a couple, an item, _any_thing. We never say- those words." Buffy twisted her hands, shocked at how the torrent of pent up worry was flowing out.

"Agreed." He answered emphatically. "So-" this was trickier, "what do you want?"

"Enemies with Benefits, minus the Enemies?" She asked hopefully.

"What's that then, Friends with Benefits?" He suggested. I can't be her friend! Bollocks, what if she likes that one, I have to take it back, I can't go round callin' her my _friend. _Except that she is. One of my best. Bloody hell.

_ I can't say Spike's my friend. I have friends, and he is not that. Except that he so totally is, if you stop thinking about friends as people you hang out with and start realizing they're the ones you know the best, who you need in your life. _"No, how about- don't make me label it." She trailed off.

"Up to you, Slayer. But your mates? Aren't they beginning to wonder?"

They won't mind. If we're discreet."

"Which we bloody are!" He looked horrified at the idea of being cuddly with her in front of anyone. "Except maybe in front of your mom and Bit. An' only if you ask her first, when I'm far out of fire ax range."

"She wanted me to be nice to you." She stuck out her tongue. "And she owes you big. You can say you want conjugal rights to her firstborn. That oughta go over great."

"Shut up, you're givin' me the willies, jus' thinkin' of tellin' Joyce anything of the kind!" He looked at her and shook his head. "You're still annoying as hell, a self-righteous, stuck up bitch." He sighed, and dropped his defenses, saying whatever he wanted, within reason. "And I bloody love it, I dunno why. Got a thing for torment, I guess."

"Well, you're all moody, and snarky." She dropped the act and walked up to him. "And I can't stand when you- when you're not with me."

They smiled, and slowly twined hands, with a mutual sigh. _We're doomed._

"Buy you a drink?" He pointed to the bottle on the dining room table.

"I'll get my own. Sprite and lime, remember?" She walked into the kitchen

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I do." She had that the first time we ever...she was such a mess that night. All full of pain and tears. Spent as much time fightin' and threatenin' as actually enjoying ourselves. Still- when we did get down to it...

She came back out with two glasses, flicking the radio on as she went.

_Hey, little sister what have you done..._

"No! No, I draw the line! The wanker stole his look from me, an' I want no parts of him and his ill-gotten gains." Spike got up and flipped the radio to another station.

_Don't feel the hunger, can't drink no holy water,_

_No light in these eyes, no place for dreams at all_

_Tonight._

_When the hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand_

_That holds the knife-_

"Okay, I draw the line at _that_! It's so depressing."

"Oh, c'mon..."

"No!" Buffy walked back in and flipped to another station. "We'll put it on my favorite station. They always have good stuff."

"To _you_, you're musically disinclined, you silly bint. Put it on my station, maybe I can help fix the twenty years of musical damage you've done to your brain..." He reached over her and twisted the knob.

"Let go! You'll break it!" Realizing this was true, with their combined strength, they both released the knob at once. The radio skittered precariously across the counter, but Buffy snagged it as it fell.

Spike sighed. "We could have silence."

"I know. Or..." Buffy twirled the tuner once more. "Mom's favorite. Classic Rock, 103.2."

"In honor of Joyce bein' back on the road to recovery- yeah. Let's." He gave in, and they retreated to the dining room, pulling up chairs across from one another, each sipping their drinks. "To Joyce!"

"To Mom!"

"It's your Seven O'Clock All Beatles Block and I'm Mad Martin..."

"Oh, dear God, Slayer, not this!" Spike groaned over the DJ.

"Now what? I thought everyone liked the Beatles."

"Some of it, yes. Some of it's so ..._peppy_. Makes my fangs itch to bite somethin'. An' I hate that Yoko bird. She broke them up, I don't care what the biographers say, I lived through it, an' I say it was down to her."

"It didn't help. Getting you to talk to other people? You still have _way_ too many words in your head." Buffy looked at him in bemused awe.

"Just because I can talk in complete sentences..." He tapped her foot with his under the table, and felt her sneaker slide up his calf. "Well, maybe it won't be too bad. But if it's the 'Ballad of John an' Yoko', I'm rippin' the plug out!"

"You do, and I'll rip some of that bleach blonde out." She smiled sweetly. "Here, listen, they're starting, is this acceptable, or do I need to go rush to defend the radio?"

"It's cheery, but I think I can jus' about handle it- 'specially if you put your foot up just a bit more, Luv..."

_I should have known better with a girl like you_

_That I would love everything that you do_

_And I do, hey, hey, hey, and I do._

Dammit. That was how it started. He had that grudging respect for her. Then he started to admire stuff. Even the snotty stuff, 'cause she did it with flair. Until now he did, bloody, fuckin' _did_ love everything that she did. In the field. In the bedroom. Now... with her foot...

_Whoa, whoa, I never realized what a kiss could be_

_This could only happen to me; _

_Can't you see, can't you see?_

This is so my life. Only _this _could happen to me. Fall for Mr. Good Vampire. Fall for Mr. Good Guy. Fall for Mr. Bad Vampire. Apparently you've gotta take the word "good" off the guy for me to actually have something workable. It wasn't the kisses though. Although, damn his kisses are so hot. So good. I didn't know you could french kiss..._ other_ areas until him. She gulped her soda.

_That when I tell you that I love you, oh,_

_You're gonna say you love me too, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, oh,_

"I'm not telling you that!" They had both been listening intently, heard the phrase, "when I tell you that I love you" and reacted identically. Well, why shouldn't we? We do a lot of other things the same way, Buffy thought.

_And when I ask you to be mine, _

_You're gonna say you love me too. _

"I'm not asking you that!"

"I'm not saying that! They talked in a chorus of denials.

_So, I should have realized a lot of things before_

Sod it, I should have. Should have realized, known better. I may have caught her, but she caught me just as much. Damn. She's good.

_If this is love you've gotta give me more_

_Give me more, hey hey hey, give me more_

"I don't need any more than this." She murmured quietly, eyes going all big, and green, and glossy at him. He makes me-happy. In a weird, severely irritated way. But so much happier than Angel or Riley. Whoa. I'm screwed up. But happy.

_Whoa, whoa, I never realized what a kiss could be_

Should have realized it. As soon as it was a second time thing. When we were all fumbly and weird. When it felt like we_ had_ to kiss to get started. When I liked kissing him. As soon as I liked kissing him, it wasn't about sex and comfort or revenge anymore. Oh, Bad Buffy!

_This could only happen to me_

_Can't you see, can't you see?_

This could only happen to me, you realize that?

They had started scooting the chairs closer together, playing footsie was no longer cutting it.

I come here, the Slayer of Slayers, Big Bad, with a beauty on my arm- end up chipped an' helpin' the good guys. She's really,_ really _good.

She got off of her chair and onto him, straddling him with a little whimpering sound as she kissed him.

On the other hand- I seem to have won the big prize. She may be all powerful goody two shoes- but look who she's all wet and hot for.

_That when I tell you that I love you, oh_

"I don't have to tell you that I love you." She murmured against his mouth.

"No, that's right." He murmured back, biting her nibbling lips.

_You're gonna say you love me too, oh_

"Because you know me."

"And you know me." He agreed.

_And when I ask you to be mine,_

"Then I'm not telling you anything, or asking you anything. " Her murmur turned into a gasp as his hand suddenly found its way down her jeans and cupped her firmly.

Me, either." He bit her neck softly, with his human teeth, growing more desperate by the second as she rocked onto his hand. "Not tellin' you a bloody thing."

_You're gonna say you love me too,_

She rocked herself up onto her knees, leaving his lap by a few inches. _"_ You wanna go someplace private and not tell me some more?"

"Oh, yeah, Slayer."

"Buffy!"

"Buffy, then." He stood up, and unzipped, he was being strangled down there.

_You love me too_

"Come on, Luv. You've got plenty of 'not saying anything' to do."

_You love me too_

"You're gonna tease me about that aren't you?

"Just a little."

"I'll tease you, too, then." She took his hand and tossed her head with a defiant wiggle of her hips.

_You love me too_

"Figured as much." She leaned into him as they walked up the darkened stairs. "Should have known better than to come back for the second taste." He sighed.

"Me, too. It was stupid." She squeezed his hand lovingly.

"Bloody stupid." He nipped her shoulder as he followed closely behind her.

"Messes everything up." She ran the last few steps, never letting go of his hand.

"Shot all to hell." He agreed heartily. He caught her at the top, whirling her in a kiss, back into the door of her room. Sometimes _their_ room.

They smiled at each other, opening the door, hands still clasped. "Would you change it?" Buffy asked softly.

"Should know me better than that, Luv." Spike stroked her cheek.

"Yeah. I do." She kissed him, leaning heavily into the wall. "I do."

_Author's note: There will be a seventh chapter, a short one to tie up loose ends. I hope you're all enjoying, please let me know if you are!_


	7. Chapter 7

Should Have Known Better

By Sweetprincipale

_A sequel to Sex and Candy and See You on the Flip Side. Set during S. 5, beginning at the end of the episode "Listening to Fear" and goes off cannon. For example, Spike realized that Ben is Glory and vice versa in time to actually put the information to good use, before Dawn was taken, altering the story line._

_Author's Notes: Deep, but will be smutty and Spuffy. Had several people tell me they thought See You on the Flip Side needed a sequel, and goodness knows I liked the idea! Hope you all enjoy, read and review!_

_Direct quotes from songs and shows are obviously not mine but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. This chapter feature _I Should Have Known Better _by the Beatles._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Idiosyncratic Delusions, Andrea Fangface, Msnycegirl0820, and jmoran 319_

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part VII

They said Joyce would have to spend four days in the hospital this time. No trouble there. They appointed him chief lurker, since he was already so good at it, and because he wasn't fooled by that "now you see me, now you don't" crap that Ben and Glory used. "_Passions_ is on in a bit. You want me to wake you?"

Joyce put down her magazine. "Yes, if I nod off. I'm feeling better. You don't have to stay with me all the time."

"I'll go then." He said quickly, and rose. He'd leave the room. But he wouldn't leave the hospital until one of the others was around.

"No, Spike, not like that, I don't want you to go. I'm just worried that you must have things you need to do, too."

_I do._ _Your daughter's tight little body bein' on the top of my list. With everyone circlin' the wagons for one last bout of research, and everyone constantly underfoot here or the house- haven't gotten to take my time with her since the night we "didn't say" we loved one another. That was just two nights ago. And it's too damn long._

But he didn't say any of that. He smiled and sat down once more. "I'm bein' the watch dog, Joyce. An' I don't mind. Think I'm gettin' a taste for the red jello. If congealed blood were a bit sweeter, that's what it'd remind me of."

Joyce continued to smile, but it became more fixed. "I'll make sure we get some for home."

"Oh. No. Just keep the hot chocolate stash full." He grinned back with equal fixedness. The domesticity of the situation choked him at times, threw it in his face that he was getting soft. At the same time, he figured all his heroics in saving Joyce would mean nothing if Ben turned into Glory in the middle of his shift and came to get some bait for a Slayer trap, or a key bargaining chip. He was finishing the job. He wasn't done until he had real and truly "saved her".

"Thank you. Again." She relaxed suddenly. "You were my guardian angel that day."

"Was not." He snorted rudely. "I'm not angelic. Demonic."

She considered this. "I suppose a guardian demon is better than nothing. In some cases it might even be better than an angel! More violent. Sunnydale seems to attract violence, and darkness. I don't know how angels would handle that."

"Your girl does fine." He said half to himself. Touched. Supremely. _A guardian demon._ Ooh, he could get used to that. _Hear that, mate? You've gone off that particular hunt, and now you guard. Protect. Save. Fight to the death for. _Yes, he liked the sound of that. _And don't whine. You get fed the most rare blood in the universe for your trouble, willingly, lovingly given Slayer blood, taken at the peak of her pleasure._ He moved his duster nervously in front of his lap, hoping Joyce wouldn't notice why he did.

"You think my Buffy is an angel?" Joyce beamed at him, looking rather like an angel herself. No, more like a Madonna, one of those pale, peaceful faces under her white bandages and blue bandana.

"Slayer's hell on heels," They joked about Buffy's strange preference for walking over driving quite often, "but there is somethin' right...angelic about her. When she lets it show."

"She doesn't let it show very much. There's always something waiting out there that she has to take care of." Joyce fretted.

"That's what slayers do. And she's the best."

"You don't mind that she has to go and fight, risk her life?"

"No, askin' Buffy not to fight..." He searched for a phrase, "it'd be like taking the air away from her. She's good at it. She loves it. Sometimes she hates what she has to do, but she knows she's gonna help someone, an' she loves that bit."

"You don't seem to try to make her...lean on you." Joyce considered.

"Girl doesn't need me for that. I don't need her to feel less to make me more. Not like that cheatin' swine..." He vamped and unvamped. They found all the nasty little brothel inmates, now just dust in the alleys. The boy was different. Riley'd gone clean away. Buffy didn't want him hurt anyway, and he couldn't, so he tried to let it go. He_ tried. _Never claimed to have succeeded.

"I see." Joyce watched him in silence. She had not liked Angel, instinctively. And he had proven her feelings right over time. She had liked Riley, very much. A kind, gentle boy. A normal boy- who ended up in a vampire brothel. She had assumed normal would be the best thing for Buffy. For a long, healthy life, and her happiness. That was not so. Abnormal and normal had hurt her badly, in different ways.

This vampire- the "bad" one, this one who had saved her life and spared her babies pain- she had come to like him for himself. For his sense of humor, for the way he mourned his lost love, for his poetic soul that came out when he talked about the woman he had loved, for the way he carried a conversation, for the way he treated her daughter- now, not then. No instincts, no presumptions, no snap judgements. It had been several years worth of getting to see him from different perspectives.

She watched him settle down with a crossword puzzle, lips unconsciously wrapping around an invisible cigarette, and blue eyes brightening in a self-satisfied smile when he immediately began filling in the blocks on the page. "You are a very unusual va-person." She consciously corrected herself.

He met her eyes, startled by the soft, reflective tone. "I am." He was. He knew it. Sometimes it shamed him, sometimes he didn't give a bloody damn. More of the latter, these days. He waited for her to critique something, tell him about what in particular made him 'unusual'. He waited in vain.

"So is Buffy." Normal was different to each person, wasn't it? Spike seemed to think of Buffy as normal. As special, even. The main thing was he accepted her, argued with her and teased her, but never seemed to try to change her. What kind of normal life would she lead with a so-called normal man? One of him constantly trying to weaken her, or make himself different to meet her? "So is Buffy." She repeated, mainly to herself.

"Uh- agree that she is. Only one like her in the world." He had to laugh softly at that statement.

"I'm glad she has you." Joyce put her head back and went to sleep, leaving his startled blue eyes unblinking.

* * *

><p>"Welcome Home!" Buffy proclaimed, sitting the suitcase down.<p>

"Again!" Dawn tacked on.

"You don't have to fuss" Joyce blushed at all the attention.

"We so have to fuss." Buffy insisted. "Everyone will be over soon. And Spike will be here after dark. Actually... Mom, Spike's gonna be here whenever you're here, unless someone else is."

"I see. Is this because I'm old and weak and feeble, with a faulty brain? Or is it related to that Glory creature?"

"Glory creature. Although Spike _is _going to give you a 'vampire-checkup' everyday. For awhile. Please?" She trailed off, lips quirking in a hesitant wince.

"So long as I don't have to pay him a co-pay, fine." Joyce sighed. "What about the Glory situation?"

"Not tonight, Mom. Soon we'll tell you. But let's wait until you're a little stronger."

"It's nothing to worry about. Just more weirdness. They still don't know where anything is. Not that I would ever tell anyone, like 'hey, I'm the Key!', but I'm glad I never sat down and got talking to him."

Buffy dropped her hands in exasperation.

"Talking to who?" Joyce demanded.

"What part of 'wait until Mom's stronger' don't you get?" Buffy huffed.

"It was an accident!" Dawn squawked defensively.

"Please, girls! Headache. Not on a morphine drip anymore." Joyce sank wearily down. "Will it kill me tonight if I don't get the full story?"

"No." _I hope not..._

"Then give me the story in ten words or less and then let me nap until the gang gets here." Joyce smiled, putting her head back on a throw pillow.

"Uhhh. Let me see." Buffy tried to think of the simplest way to explain what they found out. "Intern Ben. Is Glory. Humans forget. Spike knew. Have plan...Almost."

"That was eleven." Dawn pointed out.

"Shut up." Buffy hissed.

"Don't talk to intern Ben. Stick close to Spike. You're making a plan?" Joyce reiterated.

"Pretty much."

"Sounds good."

* * *

><p>"Ben?" Buffy gave her most charming smile to the intern.<p>

"Hey. Buffy, right? Is your mom okay?"

"She's great. She starts back to work on Monday."

"That's good to hear. So...uh, what brings you here?"

"Do you wanna go have coffee with me? Tonight after your shift?"

"I- I would love to, it's just that- I have some- family issues to take care of."

"Your issues wouldn't involve your sibling having taken the 'Siamese twin' thing to a whole new level, would it?" Buffy asked sweetly.

Ben looked panicked. "You know? How-"

"You know who I am. Your little gender swap doesn't fool me." Okay, that was a lie. Why was she doing this? She was not stealth girl, she was attack with sharp objects girl. But she would always do what she had to do. And Spike was right around the corner in the hospital hallway. With his hearing, he was able to catch every word. She wasn't in danger, not from Ben. But if Glory turned up- it was just nice to have someone else who would stand a chance of surviving her attack watching her back, and not put any of her friends in danger.

"You shouldn't be talking to me. She doesn't know what I know, but her minions watch me, they know-"

"They aren't here now. We checked." Buffy had. She looked at him quizzically. "If you don't know what she knows- how did you find out who I am?"

"Her scabby little servants. I know what she does. I know what she wants. But the details, no. I can tell when she's coming, and she's not coming yet. But the closer it gets to the ritual..."

"The ritual. What do you get out of it?"

"I stay alive." He laughed bitterly.

"In hell on Earth?"

"Better than dead." He shrugged.

Buffy gaped for a minute. _Okay... I guess that's one way to look at it._ "What if we can-get rid of her for you?"

"There's only one thing that can get rid of her. The ritual doesn't take place and we both go together- or there's this mystical thing. But she destroyed it, and made sure she killed everyone who might possibly be able to recreate one. You _can't_ get rid of her."

"Well- do you wanna help us try? Because there is no way that ritual is happening." They had another week o so, if Giles, Anya, Willow and Tara had figured out correctly. They were cutting it close, even waiting that long. But they had to wait until Mom was strong enough, until they had some ideas, a plan, and then catching him at work, on his way out- everything took time, until now they had seven days before it came to a show down.

"Look, lady, I know you've got some power, but you don't have anything that can stop her." Ben growled and pushed past her.

Spike's palm pasted into his chest as he came around the corner. His chip fired a short stinging zap, but nothing major, he hadn't wanted to hurt him. Simply stop and give him a good threatening. "So, listen, mate- what happens to her, if _you_ die?"

Ben's eyes widened and Spike smelt his fear.

* * *

><p>"I don't feel so good. Did you do- something- to me?" Ben panted, sitting in the backseat between Giles and Buffy as Spike drove.<p>

"Not to you." Spike said grimly.

"We're not trying to hurt you."

"Doesn't seem that way." He panted, looking at them bitterly. His head started to twist, and Spike wished Giles could meet his eyes from the back, but he didn't reflect in the rearview mirror. He and the Watcher had something in common. They agreed it was better to kill this wanker than let the Hellbitch rise. If nothing else worked. There they had a slight disagreement. Spike figured, why take the risk? It could be him or the Bit. The safe bet was to kill the bastard. But the damn "good guy" procedure was to try something else, seemed like bloody near _everything_ else, first.

"Why's he twitchin'?" Spike demanded.

Buffy wordlessly set her crossbow. Spike hoped that Giles had something a little more injurious aimed.

"She- she's not coming. She was, but now- she's isn't." Ben sounded pained and puzzled.

"Do you want her to?" Giles demanded.

"No! No, God, all I have _ever wanted_ is to keep her from popping up! Tell me how. Please." He sounded desperate.

"When we get there." Buffy murmured. _Please, God. Let this work. I'll kill him if I have to... I don't want to. Please don't make me... _She felt panic rising in her, and she looked solidly ahead of her. Spike turned his profile to her, and winked. _Right. Stay strong._ Her finger slid into place on the trigger. "You try anything, and you die before she gets her manicured nails all the way through your fingertips."

* * *

><p>They walked into the alley entrance of the Magic Box. Buffy went in first, into the training room in the back of the store. "You guys are set up?" She called to Willow and Tara.<p>

"We're ready." Willow had Tara's hand firmly in hers, and a ripply, clear barrier seemed to shimmer in front of them and the four people they were shielding.

"Don't come out. I mean it." Buffy spoke to all of her friends- but looked pointedly at her mother and sister. They had to be there. If they were anywhere else- anywhere she couldn't see them, and Glory got free, or her minions were hunting for a bargaining chip- she knew where they would go. Know your enemies- she looked at Spike and they exchanged an almost imperceptible grin- and keep them close.

Spike wordlessly stepped between the protective barrier and the boy. In his pocket, he had the sphere. He was the least likely to be targeted. A vampire. Something evil, something soulless, and dead, Hellbitch could do plenty to him- but he'd be the last one she'd go for, the least likely one to know what or who the key was. A vampire, the least likely to help the Slayer and her team. Her enemy. So they assumed. He smirked, and kept one hand around the glowing ball, feeling its faint power.

"Tell- me." Ben was doubling up in pain by this time, sweat popping across his brow.

"Show him." Buffy listened to the uptick in chanting from Tara and Willow, watched Xander and Anya sandwich her mom and Dawn more tightly between them.

"Recognize this?" Spike held the golden sphere in front of him.

"Never seen it but-" Ben stood up suddenly, and everyone tensed. "She stopped trying to come through." The pain seemed to have left him.

"Can her minions receive orders when she's not running the show?" Xander called through the bubble.

"Yes." Ben nodded, still getting his breath back.

"Damn." Spike held the globe more tightly. "They'll be on the move soon."

"It repels her when she's trying to come out. But she's still in there. Damn it!" Giles tore off his glasses and paced in a tight line, moving ever closer to Ben. Spike could see the outline of something in his pocket. A large knife or a small gun.

"We have to move." Buffy ordered.

"Give me the ball. As long as I have it, she can't come out." Ben pleaded.

"And when you're not lookin' some extra special worshipper will whisk it away." Spike spat.

"There has to be more to it than that. Repel means to push away, fight against." Willow said, sounding slightly muffled. "Not just to hold in!"

"Buffy-" Joyce looked at her nervously, and Spike noticed that they were circling, pushing Dawn into the center. Dead give away.

"Niblet. Come here." Spike called her to the edge of the barrier. Everyone else exchanged panicked glances, but Buffy looked at him with perfectly calm eyes. _Don't worry, Luv. Won't hurt them. But if they're putting her in the midst of a protection sandwich, it's a dead give away who the most vulnerable one is._ "You're a Summers woman. We want the strong ones out here."

"M-mom. Come out." Buffy whispered hoarsely. Willow assessed the situation, and she and Tara moved to opposite sides of the training room, walking backwards, inwards, creating a larger bubble, now encompassing all of the players in the scene.

"Gotta be more to this, huh, Red?" Spike held the ball closer to Ben, who didn't recoil, but shifted slightly.

"She's still. She won't be for long though. Look, her minions you can destroy- but you can't kill her. Give me it, I'll keep it on me at all times, I-"

"You don't get the sphere." Buffy said icily. "Giles-"

"I'm thinking. If only we'd ever found a translation of the markings that used to be on it."

"You can't even see the markings, it's so old." Anya pointed out.

Dawn made a short surprised noise, and covered it with a sneeze. Buffy caught her eye, and Dawn pointed to herself.

"Spike, let Dawn hold that for a second." Buffy kept her voice flat. "You tie him up."

"Tie me up?" Ben protested. "What good will that do? You can't tie up a god! She's eventually gonna get out, if you don't just-"

"Shut up." Spike said sharply.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Joyce whispered.

"I can see the marking just fine. But I don't know what they mean." Dawn whispered.

"Dawn- can you 'unlock' it?" Buffy whispered, even more softly. _She's a key. Glory wants her to unlock something. This is made by the monks who transfigured the Key into Dawn. Maybe it's a set. Maybe Dawn is the key to several different doors..._

"I can try. I don't know what it'll do." Her voice shook.

"It's okay. You don't have to try if you can't." Buffy encouraged.

"I can do it. I'm a-a Summers woman." She echoed Spike's words. "H-Hey, you. What's this ball supposed to do?"

"Separate us, I thought. Maybe it just keeps her down. Whatever- it's better than what's gonna happen if she ever gets loose." Ben snarled, fighting against Spike and Xander who were pinning his arms back.

"It hums." Dawn whispered. "It hums and-" She ran her hands over it lovingly, starting to hum a little herself. Green energy flipped out of the ends of her slim fingers. Joyce and Buffy made worried gasps, and Spike barely held his own in, working with Xander to tie Ben's hands behind him.

"You're gonna have company in a minute." Ben warned them.

"Giles." Spike said one word, but it was like an entire conversation. The older Brit looked at the group of youngsters he loved, at the woman he'd loved for one night and never gotten the courage or the timing right to love again. And the boy. The victim. And he hesitated, hand curled around a knife in his pocket.

_God, I'm gonna have to do it, n' get fuckin' knocked for six when the chip goes._ Spike slowly reached one hand in his duster for his ever present knife.

"There!" Dawn's gasp of triumph made everyone falter and turn towards her. The Dagon sphere lay in two neat halves, one full of dark shining fluid, the other glowing with light. "Drink." She sounded different, much more calm than they would have thought possible.

Only Spike, with his vampire hearing could know that her little heart was near to bursting. _She knows. She's learned from the best. Brave faces on._ He felt a grudging admiration slip into his heart, and he sighed. Damn. Soon he was gonna love this little bit, too. That was how it started with these girls. You find one thing to respect or admire, an' next they soddin' own you, heart an' soul- well- whatever he had instead of a soul.

One hand on Ben's head, the other bringing the bowl of the split sphere to his mouth, Dawn tipped the fluid in. Ben hesitated, then drank, like his life depended on it. It probably did. He swallowed it all, looking calm- and then agonized.

The shattering noise shook the ground, cracked the floor, sent training room apparatus, weapons, mats, tumbling everywhere. and all of them fell with the force of it. Spike's first thought was for Buffy, and hers was for him. They locked eyes, and they knew a lot in the single glance._ I know I never said it, and now isn't the time. I love you. But I gotta protect someone without superpowers just now. _They nodded, and sprang.

He was closer to Dawn, he pulled her down under him, Joyce was closer to Buffy, she took her under her small frame. The shaking intensified, and Willow and Tara, concentration broken, lost the barrier.

_Well, fuck._ Spike sighed, watching the monstrous, contorted, shadowy form of Glory clawing her way from Ben's heaving body. The boy was still alive, but looked like he'd been vomiting for hours. Prob'ly what it felt like, getting rid of one hellbitch. Giles had his hands on his back, one hand supporting him, the other still wrapped around a knife. _Dammit. Yes, let's wait until the eleventh hour, that'll be fine..._

"You! You took my Key! And you tried to banish me?" Glory snarled and laughed, advancing on Buffy, skimming the ground, but moving like a human in other respects. A very large, angry, human.

"Oh, what are you gonna do? Glare at me? You're a shadow." Buffy talked tough, getting off of her knees, shoving Joyce further back. Around them, Tara and Willow were regrouping, and Anya and Xander were dealing with another unexpected situation, a pounding at the doors, minions having arrived.

"I may be a shadow, but I still got power, Baby." Glory rubbed her hands again, this time sending sparks dancing across the floor.

_What the hell? Why me? Why with my family here, of all nights?_ Buffy didn't let her fear show. Why hadn't it worked, fully worked? "You might have power, but not nearly enough."

"Oh, I do. Enough to take just one. And it's one of you. One of you three, you all smell the same, but one of you has the energy." The fallen goddess growled, pointing from Buffy to Joyce, and finally to Dawn.

Buffy thought wildly. Something had to work, that mystical relic was the cure, the problem solver. Why hadn't it worked fully? Her gaze met Dawn's, and dropped to her feet. _The bowl. _The hollowed half of the sphere, filled with light. He'd drunk the other half down._ But what do you do with light? You can't drink light, can you?_

_Stupid monks and their stupid relics, and there's no time for this shit, just kill the boy. Or hellbitch takes one of them away, an' I can't let it happen._ Spike hurled himself at the shadow. "You want someone to play with, your ex-highness, come an' get me!"

"It isn't you." She sneered, zeroing in on Buffy. "And it isn't this one, either. The Slayer's got her own power- still- you pissed me off, all year!" A casual wave of her hand, and a bolt of blue stung the air- hitting Buffy square in the chest.

"NOO!" Spike forgot he was never supposed to give way, except in private, always look brave. Just for a second he lost it. _Not her. Not my Buffy._ He caught her when she fell, still alive, but gasping for air, heart beat sounding oddly arrhythmic. "You better pull yourself together." He hissed at her. "You better pull yourself together now, I- dammit, you're my reflection, my flip side. Half of me goes if you go." He hauled her up in one arm, and then got back to the task at hand, protecting those who needed it most.

Buffy felt like she was fainting. _But I can't faint, I'm kinda busy right now_. Her mind tried to go black, but instead it filled. Reflection. Light. Shiny things. And the other half. A spiral of a strange relationship, and two sets of figures trapped together. One set of figures chose it. She and Spike. A reflection that made a whole, bad and good, the same but different. One pair did not want to be together, they were no reflection, they were captives, one forced inside the other. One reflection fighting to stay together, the other fighting to be free.

Dawn heard her sister's words as Spike dragged her to stand with him, the two of them protecting her. Buffy looked back, sagging over Spike's arm. "The other half, the other half! She has to look into the light. Human. God. Both have- the other half!" Buffy rasped.

Glory heard as well, and her shadowy smile turned even more malevolent. "It's this one, isn't it? The newest little girl- hey!"

"You touch my baby girl, and I will show you a whole new kind of hell!" Joyce had stabbed one of the training room swords straight through Glory's back. Being a shadow, it didn't do more than cause her pain and distraction, but that was enough.

Dawn moved faster than she ever had in her life. "Yeah! It's me. I'm the one you want!" She snagged the bowl and she knew what to do. Like some part of her had done it before. The bowl melted in her hand, a beam of light leaving the hollow and becoming a shimmering sheet.

Glory looked, she had to, she had waited for so long to see the precious key- and instead she saw her death, her exile, again. Expelled from her human prison by the Dagon's potion, her shadow form was expelled by the Dagon's light.

A nightmarish wail caused the minions, about a dozen who were trading blows and spells with Tara, Xander, Anya, and Willow, to collapse, falling to their knees with answering screams. "You! You little bitches!" Glory's form was unraveling, her hands clawing at the three women in front of her, and then at Ben. Giles pulled Ben farther from her reach. "You bitches! Damn you to-"

The sentence never finished. The light had swallowed up the shadow, and Glory burst with a sizzle of gray, minions vaporizing into the light with her, tiny streaks of darkness flying to her in her final second. And all was silent, except for Ben's strangled gulps as he slowly pulled himself to a sitting position.

"See? You totally have know about other halves to do this stuff." Buffy smiled and straightened up, one arm around Dawn, one on Spike's shoulder.

"Oh, oh goodness, that was- wow. You do this every night?" Joyce sagged, leaning on the sword, and Giles abandoned Ben and rushed to her side, helping her up with a gallant smile.

"Not this big. But yeah. A little." Buffy shrugged.

"That was intense." Xander and Anya hugged, checking each other for scrapes and bruises.

"She was mega scary. Even her shadow was mega scary. She didn't have a chance, not against Buffy." Willow said loyally.

"Bitch shoulda known better." Spike lit up a cigarette, and helped Tara yank Ben roughly to his feet. "No one messes with the Summers women." Spike grinned, and winked at his girls.

Joyce took her daughters home, dropping Ben back off at the hospital. Unlike Spike, he was beyond thrilled at the thought of his other half being gone. Now he could fully be himself.

"Depends on the girl, I s'pose." Spike watched them go. Some suck you dry, take you over. Some just match you so well. "I'm gonna stop at Willy's, get some blood. See you lot around. Good fight." Spike waved and walked off.

"Geez. Nothing phases that guy." Xander helped Giles set some fallen furniture back up.

"He just keeps his brave face on. It's a British thing." Giles insisted. "Oh, Anya be careful. Willow, Tara give her a hand in the shop, would you? We'll take care of the training room..."

* * *

><p>He didn't even make a pretense of preparing his couch. He was full of blood and whiskey and he was at home. Home was here now, he reckoned. He climbed the stairs softly, on tiptoe in his thick black boots. Two heartbeats in the same room. Dawn and Joyce. Curled up together in Joyce's room, probably been too scared to sleep at first. Buffy would've comforted them and calmed them.<p>

Now she'd be awake, waiting for their time together. For a chance to let it out with the one person she felt comfortable letting her see her give way. I might jus' have to take some comfort myself, he sighed, seeing again in his mind's eye, for maybe the tenth time that night, a blue charge knocking her back and hearing her heartbeat falter, skip...and finally restart. Even one beat missed out seemed like too many.

He's shaking, Buffy thought, when he gave her his hand in way of greeting. Just a little, but still.

_Poor luv, she's a mess, listen to that little pulse zingin' along._ Spike let out an unneeded breath. "They both okay?"

"Yeah. Freaked, but coping. I see why you're afraid of my mom now. She stabbed a hell god in the back! That's- that's wicked cool."

"The little one, too, held her ground. She's got spunk." They grinned, sitting next to one another on the bed. "You were perfect." He whispered, pleasantries done.

"So were you." She inched closer to him.

"Glad you're home in one piece." He said gruffly.

"Two pieces." She pointed to his chest. The other side of herself.

It undid him and he hated it for a second. Right before he realized it undid her just as much. "You scared me, fallin' back like that!" He wrapped her up in his arms.

"They were all in danger, and I didn't know what to do- and I never got to tell you..." She clung back just as desperately.

"Shhh. I know you, Luv, You tell me every time you look at me."

They were kissing now, hug having turned from desperate and clinging to desperate, full stop.

Her shirt ripped down the middle of her back, but she didn't care. She yanked his belt through the loops so hard it made a singing sound through the air before landing on the floor. "Thought I might never hold you again." He confessed, clawing into her.

She pushed him to the floor, lips ravaging down his still partially clothed body. "I know." She slurped him into her mouth with one long moan, and then back up. "I need you. I need you." Afraid she'd never get to feel him or taste him again...

"I'm here, Luv, right here." They ripped and tossed and tore until they were naked, his body pinning hers to the bare floor with animal like possessiveness. "Give me all of you, Buffy, an' I'll never let you go." He whispered fiercely.

"You have it, you already have it." She whimpered, hips bucking to encourage his penetration, make him stop rubbing his tip outside her slit without giving her what she wanted.

He crashed into her, forehead to forehead, lips bruising in a frenzy of kisses. "I know you know, but..." She trailed off.

"I understand, you never have to say the words." He whispered heatedly.

"Will it hurt you if I do?" She murmured, looking away, eyes slowly sliding to stare in the distance behind his shoulder.

"I promised I'd never hurt you in here, Luv. Haven't you had enough pain for a lifetime?" He cautioned.

"You stopped hurting me a long time ago." She freed one of her arms and touched his cheek. "But we have a truce, no pain from me. One broken heart each is enough, you're right."

They moved together in silence, building, and building, until she was biting her lips. From the effort of not crying out in pleasure. Or was it the effort of not letting her heart speak?

_Doesn't it hurt just as bad not to say it?_ He began to wonder. "You could never hurt me. An' I could never hurt you. Not now." He pressed his lips to her ear. "I know you know, but, just in case you'd like to hear it- just this once- I do, y'know. Love you." _For once in my life, or my death- I'm gonna have it returned. Fully returned. By someone who knows what they mean, who understands with clarity an' sanity, and who bloody well means it back or she'd never say it. You could kill this girl an' she'd die cursin' you out rather than lie._ Confidence overtook him, but he didn't show it. He knew her so well, and it made him grateful.

She held him extra tight, all of her limbs wrapping around him, and she waited until he was fully inside, her muscles forcing him to stay still. "It didn't hurt."

"That's good." He murmured softly.

She'd thought it would hurt, but it didn't. It didn't fall into a hollow spot in her heart where there was no answering cry. Of course there would be a response, of course it wouldn't hurt. _When like calls to like, and every part of you has a reflection in them. _"I love you. I might tell you more than once, though. Okay?"

"Okay." They shared a smile, and began picking up the pace again.

Making love doesn't have to be gentle, or slow, they both seemed to realize. He slammed into her desperately, groans ripping out of him, a look of pleasure so intense it almost seemed like pain.

She dug deep gouges in his back and rear to force him in as far as possible. He hit spots inside that no one else had ever reached, that she'd never let anyone unlock. She knew her family was in the house, and she didn't even care for a blinding second of pleasure. _Than man I love, who knows me and loves me back- is inside me and he's about to make me..._She screamed into his mouth and told him again.

Finally that dream's comin' true. Glad she left the stake at home though. "I love you, Buffy. God, I love you so much."

"Spike... I love you."

In the dream she'd only wanted him. Now she loved him. In the dream she came to kill him and he was so sick of his torment, the chip, his broken heart, broken life, he'd _told her to do it- right before he grabbed her and kissed her, pouring out his confession. Maybe I've got vision- 'cause that was kind of how the relationship went- only it took over a year, dammit, not two bloody minutes in the crypt. Nah- I just know the girl. Refuse to have visions. I'd go barmy, an' I'm done with the crazies._

"Your demon has to come out." Buffy whispered, riding her after burn, still spasming on him.

"Never refuse that. But don't you want me to get you back to the peak again before he drinks?" Spike nuzzled her neck, licking her where he'd bitten several times. He didn't leave scars on this skin. This sweet, smooth honeyed skin. Made him sick to see the other scars on her. Bastards cared about leaving a mark on her, wanting to do it on purpose, or they hadn't cared at all what they did, but they hadn't sealed her up afterwards. He could make a mark on her someday...if she'd like. He could take away the other scars, replace it with one of his own...

Get her back to the peak? "Who says I ever got off the peak?" She finally managed to untangle her mouth and tongue and say something aside from "Oohhhh, God." or "Ohhh, Spike." "You can drink. I just wanted to tell you I loved you that way, too."

"You don't love my demon, Baby, you jus'-" Her teeth sank into his jaw with frightening speed, and left him reeling, certainly made him stop talking.

"Don't tell me that! I love you, both halves, and didn't you see how important it was to have both halves tonight?" She glared- and then kissed him softly. "Sorry. I broke the skin..."

"I don't much mind." _Fuckin' fantastic actually. Instinctive, ferocious. Oooh._ The demon flashed to the surface, and he smiled at her with his ridged face and his golden eyes.

"I love you." She kissed him, and then lay back, more playful now. Like Spike had taught her. That sex could be passionate and fun, and it could still mean something. "And what do you say?"

"Love you." He growled. Look at her, all splayed around my cock, and looking up at me with saucy eyes. Why had he ever thought she was stuck up? Oh, wait, she was...but not in here, not now. "All of me."

"All of me. You know that big fancy speech you made, about what love is supposed to be like?"

"First time we got on this goddamn ride?" He morphed back into human features with a sharp twist of his muscled shoulders. "Yeah, what about it?"

_I remember every word like you wrote it on my skin._ "I think you might have said 'when your blood cries out for their blood' somewhere in there...?

_ That's exactly what I said. I damn near memorized it in the months afterwards, I recited it so often, thinking about her.._. "I might have said that."

"I said it was lust."

"Could be."

"I was wrong."

"That's a first. You admittin' it, that is."

"I think it's love. Also lust, but with us-" She kissed him softly, "I think it's both."

"I agree." He nuzzled his lips to her neck again, kissed it softly as he moved slowly, deeply in and out of her hot, clasping channel, harder and harder until her felt her walls quiver., At her internal signal, his fangs slid sweetly into her neck, the vibrations of her shaking moans pouring her blood into his mouth with every second she sustained her cry.

* * *

><p>"Thank God for Saturday. No school. No work. The shop is closed for the day until the insurance adjuster can come and look at the cracks in the training room floor. I'm not sure how insurance adjusters deal with what they see in Sunnydale, but they probably just get used to making up stuff. Probably in the case of the Magic Box they'll write "earthquake tremor" and everyone will leave them alone, since it <em>is <em>California." Buffy, running on love and a power nap, spoke to the entire household at once.

"Shhh." Spike glared at her as she hopped chirpily down the stairs, still talking a mile a minute. "I'm doin' my quack routine."

"Sorry!" Buffy stopped and watched the ritual that Joyce was trying hard to ignore. He was sitting right beside her as she looked through catalogues, sipped her tea and looked uncomfortable. She had to laugh, because Dawn stood behind Spike, like the nurse to his doctor. You'd almost expect to hear him say "Scalpel. Clamp." and Dawn would "assist." They both looked deadly serious, and her mom just looked... patient and a little embarrassed by the attention.

"All good." Spike let his senses rest.

"How long do I have to have these little 'checks' for?" Joyce looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Until they declare a cure for bad things happening." Buffy declared, and Joyce managed to laugh.

" Fine. I suppose it's for a good reason." A loud chorus of yeses made her smile. "I hear by declare this 'Recovery from goddess beating, store clean up, brain surgery, and amazing acts all around' day. No chores. We order take out. We crash."

"You so should have taken her slaying before this." Dawn hissed as she and Buffy raced for the delivery menu.

* * *

><p>"What are you screaming about?" Spike looked up from his book. <em>Passions <em>wasn't on on the weekends, an' he didn't feel like moving. Last night left him oddly energized and knackered at the same time. But they weren't alone, and it wasn't gonna go over to well sneak up to her room for a nooner. Not the same as sneaking up in the middle of the night.

"XANYASGEINGMARD!" Buffy came into the living room, squealing, dancing around like a fool, carrying the portable phone.

"They are? EEEEEEEE!"

"Oh congratulations!" Joyce looked up from her tea.

Spike met Giles' eyes from across the living room. The Watcher apparently got his head on straight after last night. Showed up with roses and a book on magical artwork, an' was sittin' all cozy like with Joyce in the dining room, pretending it was just friendly. _Yeah. Right. We'll see how long you can resist her. If _I _can't_- Spike looked at the sisters squealing and bouncing around the carpet, eyes locked on his sunshine- _you don't stand a chance in hell. _"I didn't get a word. You?"

"Not a word." He confirmed and looked to Buffy again.

"Xan and Anya are getting married!" She repeated at an understandable pace.

"They are?" Giles blinked.

"They are!" Buffy hung up. "He called Willow and Tara already, and the four of them are going out to celebrate. They said we can come if we want."

"Details!" Dawn begged, and Spike groaned, pushing his head back under the paperback spy novel.

"Okay, so, they call, it was all like, gasp-y and scream-y, and I thought 'They're calling during sex!' and I was like 'Ewww, what kind of kink is that?', and then I realized they were both just so happy and yelling, 'cause they're engaged." Buffy took a deep breath, and then blushed. _Oh my God. I totally just said " kink" in front of my mom, my Watcher, and my little sister. And Spike. Who's giving me the demon bedroom stare and reminding me of all the deep dark chocolate we can dive into when we're bored with vanilla- and oh God, now I'm drooling over Spike in front of my mom, my Watcher, and my little sister. Great. I survive Glory only to die of a Buffy brain fritz._

"I must say- that's rather- unexpected." Giles cleaned his glasses in his patented avoidance technique.

"Apparently Xan decided he can't imagine his life without her in it." Buffy shrugged, trying to forget the slip she'd just made.

_I guess I know how he feels. _The thought circled the room. Spike and Buffy locked eyes, Giles and Joyce shared a glance that broke off with a blush, and Dawn smiled to herself as she watched it all.

* * *

><p>Must've been all the weddin' talk that did it, Spike decided later. He didn't know whether to stay or go, but it was well after midnight, and the three of them were still sitting in Joyce's room, painting their nails and giggling, rehashing every word from the impromptu engagement celebration that he had opted not to go to.<p>

_I should just go to the crypt. Love her an' all, but not like I can't take a night off. Of course, if I take the night off the first night after we said it, she might think I'm lookin' to push away. An' I'm not. Don't particularly like the Scoobies on the Side deal, but the family's nice enough. An' she's the one I wanna stay close to._

He took off his duster. _Guess that means I'm stayin'_. He sighed with a smile and began to make up his bed on the couch.

He went to the coat closet, like he had countless times in the last few months. Always a set of clean white sheets and pillow stashed on the top shelf next to Joyce's head scarves and bandanas, Buffy's few fashion accessory hats and Dawn's winter wooly cap that she never used because, well, _California_. And his stuff wasn't there.

Check the basement, the laundry. No dice. Went upstairs to the linen closet to borrow a different set, or maybe his set was up there for some reason.

He passed by Joyce's room, saw the three women he cared about all sprawled out and all wearing their personalities like identity bracelets. Joyce, a calm smile sitting between them, the mother, the graceful one presiding over her two children. Dawn arguing heatedly with her sister, but with a giggle in her voice. The sparkler. And Buffy, spine stiff and eyes direct, was sassing her back, but grinning like a lethal one, could slay you with her smile. Mum. Little Sis. Lover. Goddamn he was screwed, an' oddly enough, very pleased about it.

"Do you want your nails painted, Spike? I'm sure we have black somewhere." Dawn caught sight of him in the hall and giggled.

"You ladies keep on. I'm jus' huntin' up some sheets and a pillow. Mine weren't in the coat closet."

"Oh, I know where they are." Joyce said with one of her soft smiles.

"If you'd be so kind, then, Joyce, I'll go make it up. Or I can toddle along if you lot jus' want a girls' night. No blokes in the house to witness you in cold cream an' curlers."

"Stay." Joyce waved him off with a laugh, and Dawn nodded, Buffy met his eyes and said nothing. Well, nothing out loud. Spike could hear a whole volley of promises and wants in that glance.

"I'll get to it then." Spike poked his head further in the closet. "What shelf, Joyce?"

Joyce's voice was very complacent, calm. "Third from the top. But why bother? Buffy's bed is already made up, and I put your pillow on it in case you prefer that one."

_Oh, holy fuckin' shit._ Spike whirled to face the trio, keeping well back in the hall, the room no longer safe for him.

_"MOTHER!"_ Buffy rocketed from her seat on the bed, scattering nail polish, which sent Dawn into a chuckling scramble to prevent it spilling all over the bedspread. Spike looked at her, the desire to flee in his eyes, but not wanting to leave her to face the trouble alone. "Mom!" Buffy gasped again, cheeks aflame.

"Oh, Honey. Please." Joyce shook her head, and didn't sound in the least bit threatening. Spike didn't relax, but he didn't leap down the entire flight of stairs as he'd been wanting to. Joyce continued, in the same complacent tone, eyes faintly twinkling. "I'm sure you're just up there, listening to Pink Floyd and talking."

_Oh, she's good. She's baitin' me... Damn, no wonder the Slayer has flair. It's not the power, by God, it's the genetics!_ Spike looked at Buffy, who was opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish. No sound. Also not seemin' to take in any air, so he assumed he'd have to do the talkin'.

But Joyce kept speaking, her smile widening a fraction, but her tone becoming harder. Still so calm, so pleasant- but so serious looked significantly at him as he tried to fumble out a nice, noncommittal response, and it died on his lips. "And if you're 'talking' to my daughter in anything but a loving and respectful way-" She let the threat hang in the air.

_What does she think I am, suicidal? Okay, sure I'm a bit mouthy with Buffy, it's our gig. But no disrespect intended. And as for lovin'- well- we're workin' on it._ "I swear I will be as respectful as you could want, Mum. I mean, Joyce, I mean, Mrs. Summers." Fuck, look at what she did to him. The Bit was giggling madly into a pillow, eyes dancing at him as she watched him stammer.

"Loving?" Joyce pressed. Respect was good, but her baby deserved better, from her... "conversation partner."

"Yes, ma'am, loving as you could want." Spike swallowed. "As _she_ wants."

"Mother!" _You can't just tell Spike to come into my room an "talk" to me. Certainly not talking "lovingly" to me._ Buffy was mentally freaking out, blushing so hard, embarrassed beyond words... and Dawn was loving it. _So much for being super wise all powerful key girl. She's back to annoying, 'it's so funny watching my sister totally get caught with her hand in the cookie jar', brat sister. Thank God. _"Mom, we just-"

It was Buffy's turn to get the hard eyed stare. The stare that still twinkled, and Joyce's smile never left her mouth. Spike sucked in his cheeks and rolled his tongue under his teeth in delight. _Never get to see the girl flustered by Joyce, like she does me. Gonna enjoy this..._

"Buffy, you've had that bed since you were twelve. I bet the springs are going to go soon." Spike found himself rapidly losing his amusement. Bloody hell, were they that bad? He'd tried to be easy on the furniture- up to a point. And it was only a few springs...But Joyce was still speaking. "There's a nice queen size one on deep discount at the furniture store near the gallery. They're going to deliver it next week."

_Oh my God. My mother is insane. Buying Spike and I a bed? Like what, like we're living in here, like we're a couple? So, yeah, he kind of does spend almost every single night in my bed, but... but she's not supposed to know that! _

_And three-legged turtles are right now breaking the sound barrier with their amazing speed... _

"Mom- seriously-" She tried to think of a bluff, a cover up, anything.

"Honey- do me a favor?" Joyce looked at her with a slight tilt to her head, eyes smiling and mouth in soft half-grin. "Actually, both of you."

"Yes, Mom?" Buffy asked with a nervous expression, which was mirrored on Spike's face as he hovered in the doorway.

"Get some new CDs. Pink Floyd every night was okay in the eighties. Not so much now." She chuckled at their gobsmacked expressions. "And don't talk _too _loudly."

* * *

><p>They sat side by side on the floor, neither one of them even wanting to <em>touch<em> the bed with its stupid, tattle tale springs. They could still hear Dawn and her mom hooting with laughter, but they had left the room almost immediately.

"Spike?" She whispered.

"Yes?" He was not in a joking mood. He was in a "bloody thankful not to be castrated" mood.

"You know we have the deal where we don't hurt each other, and only you can kill me, and I can only dust you?"

"Yes, Luv?"

"Can you please do it now?"

"What?" His bows shot up.

"I figure it'd be quicker than me dying of embarrassment."

"Ah. Well, in that case we gotta make it a double. You get two crossbows, an' I'll count off ten paces."

Buffy moaned and put her head on her knees. "She knew! How long do you think she knew for? Why didn't she say anything?"

"You're a grown woman. She didn't want to make you feel ashamed." He touched her arm. "Mortified as I am- think it's dead supportive of her to want you to have the man you choose."

"Oh, she wouldn't be supportive if she didn't like you. She _likes_ you. And I can't even blame it on the thing that was squishing her brain, she _liked_ you before." Buffy shot him a bitter look.

"Forgive me for committing the unforgivable sin of being likable." He smirked.

"You are not likable!" Buffy hissed. "I told you. My mom doesn't have good vampire sense."

"Good thing I like her, then, isn't it?" He smirked all the more.

"Ohhh." Buffy moaned and bumped her head lightly to her knees. "I. Get. Into. Crazy. Stuff. All. The. Damn. Time." She bumped between each word.

"If you wanna do any damage to stop the memories of bein' found out, you're gonna have to hit yourself a bit harder, Luv. Love to offer you a hand, but..." He chuckled and sighed. "I shoulda known better really. Kept comin' up here. It was a risk, an' we knew it. Probably tipped her off last night. Think- with being in love with you- got carried away and I wasn't quiet as usual."

She lifted her head and faced it to his. "Did you just say you're in love with me?"

"No! Did I?" Had he?

"Yes!"

"Oh. Bugger. Guess I am." He smiled helplessly.

"There's a difference between just loving someone and being in love with them, you know."

"Yeah, Slayer. Got that in my hundred plus years." They were silent for a minute. He held in his grin. Give her a minute. She always takes a minute longer...

"My mom told me you're the family's 'guardian demon', whatever the hell that is."

"I dunno, Luv, she thought that one up all on her lonesome."

"I guess it means she wants you in the family. That you belong to the family."

"Well-" He stretched and settled back on the floor, "I'm the most screwed vamp there ever was. Tried to use my powers to save my mum. Get a big name for the big violence, and get it all taken away by a tiny little piece a plastic in my brain. Turn out to be helpin' the good guys. Famous for killin' two Slayers, an' now I'm shacked up with my intended third." He closed his eyes and winced. "An' now her mum says I'm the family's 'guardian demon'. Like I'm her bloody protector, a hero."

"You kinda brought that on yourself." Buffy stretched out beside him.

"I know. But now I belong to the family? That's your take on it?" The idea was- not entirely unpleasant.

"Yeah. That's how I see it." She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down on him, giving him a smiling kiss. "Guess it's a good thing I'm in love with you, too."

* * *

><p><em>And this concludes our trilogy. I hope you enjoyed the ride. <em>

_Author's note: For those of you who know me well- you know I'm gonna try really, _really _hard not to write any sequels to this, but that I have trouble preventing ideas from setting up residence in my brain and forcing their way out onto paper. I promise I'll try. But I've got a couple muses -you know who you are- and they stir up trouble. But for now, we'll call this a trilogy, and hope you all enjoyed it!_

_Update: The Muse won. The fourth part, the piece that creates the Sex and Candy Quartet is called If You're Sure and is posted in its entirety on FF. net. _


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